I'm afraid to truly enjoy life because when I do the Lord reminds by taking another beautiful flower from my Garden of life.

It seems as though he keeps taking the ones I'm closest to. So I guess you can say I'm nervous and constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. That being said, it doesn't matter because you're never prepared  and with each loss it's completely different type of grief  I'm beside myself and have never felt more alone. My Mom was my very first best friend, my Daughter was an unexpected miracle, my Best Friend was my rock for over 21 years. They were all taken from me in such a traumatic devastating way. I constantly find myself on edge unable to relax. Something I desire deeply. Something I believe I'll never attain. I wonder if I'm being punished at times. I'm extremely grateful for my Father, Brother, Husband my close Family & Friends. But I'm constantly worried about who's next. I don't know how to move forward I know that's something they would all want. I just cant do it. I try but honestly my hearts not in it.

I wonder if any of you out there have any tips? I would greatly appreciate any thing.

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