I guess this blog may seem out of order or confusing.. but I was here before. I was trying to be stronger than I am. I was trying to seize moment and embrace this community, and be supportive but it wasn't working out. So I took some time away and now I am back again...

Tonight I am feeling volatile, and bitter, hurt, angry, lost, depressed, hopeless and these are not typical "Mandy" feelings.  I have always been an optimist, always believed in looking forward and…