Trish McDonald
  • Female
  • Midland, MI
  • United States
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Trish McDonald is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Dec 21, 2019

Profile Information

About Me:
I suffer with deep depression and grief daily and have turned to alcohol to try to cover up my pain.
About my Loss:
Lost my amazing Dad unexpectedly October 15, 2015. Depression started after that, but I wasn't drinking yet. I lost a great friend to cancer August 2017. When he was home on hospice, his dying wish was for me to be lying next to him when he passed. That's a hard pill to swallow and do that. My boyfriend was very supportive and said give him his last wish. 2 weeks I spent going to work, coming home, napping for an hour, showered and went to Richs house. Would go to see my boyfriend for an hour around 8pm, back to Richs until around 4am, home to sleep for an hour, shower and to work at 6am. During my time with Rich, when he could communicate, I asked him why me? He said you are the most gentle soul I have ever met. I gave him his dying wish by being there with him as he passed. Unfortunately he was trying to tell me something just before, but I couldn't understand him. I have had hundreds of dreams wuth him trying to tell me something, with no answers😢 There are sounds that remind me of his passing that set me off, like the gurgling of a coffee pot.
I lost a close cousin my age unexpectedly to a heart attack December 2017.
I lost my close brother and my rock unexpectedly April 9 2018. I was at the hospital with him for 4 days on life support, all while knowing he was gone the first day. This has been the break in my depression turning to alcohol abuse. I can't come to terms with it all. And U have only been able to go to the cemetary once since the funeral. It makes it reality for me and I don't want that to be true😭 Needless to say I need help. I spent thursday night in jail for DUI.

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Latest Activity

Jennifer replied to Robin H's discussion Lost my Partner who wasn't my partner in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
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Jennifer joined Cathy Richardson's group
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Susan E Marshall commented on Susan E Marshall's photo
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My husband

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Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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