"I can understand not wanting to deal with his family. My husband's family is....not good. His father is well-intentioned and not a terrible person, but he basically abandoned his children when he divorced the bitch who birthed them (she is in…"
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Sharron Anderson
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- RCH CUCAMONGA
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Sharron Anderson's Discussions
Numbness and Anger
25 Replies
For the last three weeks I have been unable to feel anything but anger and numbness. I feel like I am slowly dying inside. Everything annoys me. I don't want to be around friends or family. I have…Continue
Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Feb 23.
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Latest Activity
"Hi Speed,
I hear you in spite of my anger. The only thing I cannot do right now is deal with his family. I don't trust them and I don't want to go thru any drama with them right now. I need all my strength right now. I am a hot mess and it…"
"Sharon,
I know the feeling on the therapists. Went through three of them myself. One specialized in EMDR and that did seem to help...somewhat. One of the things I think that I liked about it was it was a solution. Not an…"
"Hi Speed,
I thank you for your insight. I am checking in. The therapist is somewhat a waste of time. I feel like I am getting textbook phrases that are suppose to make me get over all this. I don't see it. In this short period of time I am…"
"Sharron, I also saw one of your older comment in "Traumatic, Sudden Loss" about not being married to him and feeling pushed aside by the family. I share that path with you. I was not engaged to Jen (my person lost), but in my…"
"Sharron, I hear you on feeling alone...isolated. Some of it is imagined, some of it is actually real. I know that angry feeling all to well also.Try to come up with specific tasks for people that are offering help, even if it is…"
"I went to spend time with my family over the holidays and although it felt safe, I felt alone. I had a couple of meltdowns and then I came back and I some more. I am feeling angry about the upcoming valentines day, I feel angry that I will forever…"
"Don't give people too much credit. They are all so wrapped up in their own lives that they have very little left over to judge you or even comment.Just excuse yourself and find a private place if that makes you feel more…"
"As you have mentioned, and Bluebird commented on as well, the waves can crash down and punish an otherwise great day. Sometimes I just wish I had a camera to videotape the reactions around me. The mad rush for the door from others.
Grief…"
"Hi Sharron; just checking in. I hope you're doing all right, considering."
"Thank you Bluebird. I appreciate your support more than you know."
"Try not to worry about what other people think of you. The death of a spouse/partner is one of the worst things that can happen to a person, and you are not required to act normally or explain anything to anyone. Just try to take care of yourself.…"
"Absolutely, I try to look normal or whatever that is but I think people can see right thru me. I don't want to have to explain anything for fear I meltdown."
"I totally get it. I'm ten years on, and all that STILL happens to me sometimes.
I live in the northeastern US. About one month after my husband died, Hurricane Sandy hit us, so pretty much everyone was in crisis. Then for weeks afterwards…"
"Hi Bluebird,
I'm glad you told me this because I think I am suppose to be a lot stronger than this. Nothing makes sense and I walk around like a functioning zombie and then out of nowhere, I have a meltdown and then I am angry with the world.…"
"Sharron,
You're definitely not crazy. The triggers, the meltdowns, the wild emotions -- it's all par for this fucking horrible course, for so many of us."
Profile Information
- About my Loss:
- Fiancee' died from a horrific auto accident. He was in a coma for 9 days and then died. I stayed at the hospital with him. I have no rights to do anything because we were not married. I am angry and numb and lost.
Comment Wall (2 comments)
- At 4:38pm on February 8, 2023,
Speed Weasel said…
Sharron, I also saw one of your older comment in "Traumatic, Sudden Loss" about not being married to him and feeling pushed aside by the family. I share that path with you. I was not engaged to Jen (my person lost), but in my mind she was the woman that I would marry. She too succumbed to injuries from an auto accident. We had such a deep connection and then it was ripped away. I never expected to face the bitter side of being so intertwined as when it was taken away. I felt SO isolated with her absence. I wasn't family, we weren't married, just (JUST) a friend. Her family was not outwardly exclusionary, most of my isolation was even self-imposed. I mean how does a parent process the loss of their child, I didn't want to add to their unhappiness. I have re-connected with her family, especially her sister who has an absolute heart of gold, but it took 30 years and a bit of explaining as to why I had been absent for so long. I have taken my college-aged daughter to most (if not all) the times that I got together with her sister. In the back of my mind, her sister is as close to an aunt as possible. It is wierd, I'll admit, but I have wanted her sister to know my family as if it was her extended family too. Sorry for the rant...just been in a bit of a low point. Jen's birthday is in Feb and needless to say, I am glad it is a short month.
- At 8:12pm on September 17, 2022,
Lisa Maria DeMatto- Wysong said…
Sharon,
I am truly sorry for what you have been going through. The way his family is treating you is inexcusable, they should know what you meant to him and what he means to you. The lack of being acknowledged as his fiance is also traumatic. I have no advice for you, just know that you aren't alone there are people that will support you. Reach out to friends and other family members.
This site was very helpful for me, but it seems as if it isn't as busy as it once was. Maybe try one of the other groups.
I am here to listen if you want to vent.
My heart is aching for you.
Lisa
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