I am starting this group because I have experienced 2 losses and now have to accept not having children at all. I am still working through this but have an added benefit of almost completing my Masters degree in counseling.See More
Several years ago I lost custody of my two children to the state because of my poor choice of a partner. He was abusive and I was young and alone, so it was a terrible situation to be raising children in. Its been several years since I've seen them. During that process I gave birth to a baby girl and arranged an adoption for her. I haven't seen her since. It was the right thing to do at the time. During the last several years I have learned to cope with my loss. I have made strides in my mental health, and have cultivated a healthy life style and relationship. I was never able to do these things before because i was constantly in crisis, just trying to survive. I hoped that when I was ready I could have a family with my fiance, who I have been with now for 3 years. I have stability and prosperity for the first time in my life, and feel that I could be a great parent under different circumstance. I wasn't quite ready to try again though so I had an IUD put in years ago when I met my fiance. Then a couple days ago I went into the ER because of extreme abdominal pain and it turned out I had an ectopic pregnancy that had burst through my fallopian tube and was causing internal bleeding. It required emergency surgery, and they removed the ruined fallopian tube and embryo. Now it could be difficult for me to get pregnant, and I feel like I've been waiting for this. I screwed up the chances I had and now the universe is taking away my dreams of trying again. It feels like this is my punishment for my poor choices in the past.
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"That's a good way to put it. Your second paragraph doesn't sound insane at all. I know what you mean. I feel the same, and we're luck to have even that.
In the video I thought the laughter was out of place - at least…"
""Moving forward with him", that is also what I feel. I am not in for another relationship, I am just living my life ... I still get sad thinking about the "loss" ... and even though many people laughed in the TED-Talk ... I felt…"
"I understand where you are coming from.
"I sometimes wonder the percentage of people who react long-term to a spouse/partner's death in the way I do, and the percentage who instead want to live and "move on" with their…"
6 hours ago
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