Andy Barnett
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  • Atlanta, GA
  • United States
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About Me:
HMMM..What to say? haha..I am 29 years old and live in Atlanta, GA with my sister and 6 year old nephew. GA born and raised.
About my Loss:
My mother was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer back in May 2008. She underwent chemo for 6 months and was said to be cleared. She kept saying she did not feel right, but the doctors kept telling her she was being silly and chemo just does that to you. Well, not 2 months later the cancer had come back and spread all over the abdomine and into the liver. Her Gastro doctor told me she had never seen a case that aggressive. Her Oncologist in ATL said there was nothing that could be done. They could try to keep her comfortable during her last days. Needless to say we would not accept that. We looked at it as winning the lottery (The chances are low,but someone has to win it). We traveled to Philly to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America and were given some hope. The chemo regimon managed to keep the cancer under control, but was not shrinking the tumors. My mom became sick in November of 09 and was unable to have chemo for a month. I guess thats when it took over and spread. She passed away on January 12, 2010. I have so much anger and frustration towards all her doctors which I know sounds silly. It just seems like she wasn't a person to them, but a paycheck. I think about all the colon resections she underwent and all the pain she felt. Watching your mother who in my eyes is one of the most beautiful people in the world outside and in drop from a healthy 180lbs to 90lbs and not being able to move or control her bladder. It just hurts to see that. It hurts to think about it. Hell....I just hurt.

My mom was best friend and I don't really know what to do now that she is gone. I honestly just feel lost. I can't imagine never being able to hear her voice again..never being able to hear her laugh..or even just give me one of those motherly lectures she was known for when she pretended to be shocked over something I had done..haha..I just so badly want to talk to her and give her a hug. She always smelled like perfume and make-up and even as a kid I remember hugging her and feeling so protected by that smell. My friends don't understand what I am going through..Most don't even know what to say..If I try to talk about it I just feel crazy because I know they are thinking OH GOD!! so I thought this site would really help.
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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 12:43am on January 25, 2013, Emily said…

Hi! I'm so sorry about your mom, please feel free to message me anytime.

While I didn't lose my mom to cancer, I also felt like Doctors let her down,

its ok to feel angry, to cry, to feel lost, to not feel normal.

At 6:16pm on March 20, 2010, Tina Elam said…
I lost my mother on the 12th also to lymphoma. Wow that shocked me when i read your post. Im having such a hard time dealing with my mothers loss, Sha was my best freind. I love her so much!! My life will never be the same. Tina
At 1:27pm on February 28, 2010, Tania Isaacs said…
Andy, I read your profile and I can't believe how much in common we have about the losses of our Mom's. They found her colon cancer in Feb. 2009 We went to an oncologist after her release from the hospital and he said that she was not well enough to withstand and chemo or radiation therapy and Mom wanted to recover from the surgery ( they had to remove 60% of her colon and thats a lot to recover from) To make a long story shorter ,she had terrible pain begin in her abdomen and we went to several doctor's who told us that she had developed adhesions in the abdomen from the surgery and they sent her to pain management. Well, there were not adhesions in her it was cancer. By the time we found a doctor they would do exploratory surgery on her to find the cause of the pain it was everywhere and nothing could be done. She wanted to badly to go to a cancer treatment center but we never made it there. She was released from the hospital on Jan 25, the day after my birthday, and they got her into hospice care . A few weeks later she passed away, weighing only 64 lbs.
Andy, I am so very sorry for your loss. I joined this site because my family and friends are trying hard to be understanding and supportive but they haven't gone through anything like this and you're right, they don't really understand. For now I am still living in her home and trying to get things settled and it is so hard. Add to that my son who is almost 5 is here with me and he doesn't understand what's gone on and I am trying to hold myself together for both of us. Sometimes I don't think I am strong enough to do this.
I am sorry this comment is so long. If you need to talk, I'm for you if you need to talk. The pain is terrible, I feel lost too, and if I could help any one else through it I'd like to try. You're not really alone.

Tania
 
 
 

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