"i miss mom so mush i do"
Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Andrea has not received any gifts yet
751 members
15 members
9 members
29 members
17 members
93 members
324 members
140 members
39 members
80 members
15 members
62 members
43 members
49 members
12 members
© 2024 Created by Ninja. Powered by
Comment Wall (1 comment)
You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!
Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Andrea,
No one can possibly imagine the devastation of having to live being the one left behind. Not until it happens to them.
I am at four years and almost six months and I too feel stuck. Its like all I am doing is functioning to make enough money to pay bills. Mind you that is not much different than life before my husband died but at least then I had a reason to get up and be motivated. Now I find myself questioning more and more, why?
In the beginning I fantasized about suicide because I was so desperate. Now i think about it because I realize this is my life. Reality check. Do I have the guts to do it? No, at least not yet but I don't think I can absolutely rule it out. The breakdowns I have now are so much more debilitating. In the beginning I was in such a fog when I cried I would literally fall asleep. Now, when I cry my brain is trying to figure out why this grief keeps blindsiding me. I am exhausted from it all. I am doing more and hating every moment.
I have such brief times of feeling just little bit of relief thinking that maybe I have a bit more control and then I just slide backwards and realize that this is the way I am always going to feel so what's the point?
I wish i had enough energy to write to everyone who comes on this site and other sites I visit but I just don't. It's everything i can do most days to simply get to the end of a day. Working like a maniac to keep myself distracted and without fail I'll hit a trigger and boom, down I go.
I'm tired..... physically, mentally, emotionally and know my feelings are not abnormal. I plead with the universe.......let me go........so far no luck. I feel like you. No one can really help me except my darling husband and that I know is not going to happen. Take the best care you can. Maybe we will get lucky because as time passes I just want this all to end.