Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
So - if you're on this forum, you've probably lost both of your parents and probably at least one sibling, like myself. Here's my question: After the loss of both parents while still in your formative years - do you automatically go one of two directions?
My second parent died when I was 19 and my sister was 16 - and at that point she spiraled downward until she took her own life at 25, leaving a 6 year old son behind. On the other hand (and opposite side of the country), I'm an NYU grad, have been unusually successful in my career, and am still single at 28 - but am outwardly extremely well adjusted.
I'm going to assume that if you're actually out there looking for help - you fall more into my camp: Survivor. Thoughts?
Ruthie - Thank you for reaching out. I feel the same way about the sob stories, and that feeling of "literally, NOBODY understands me" makes the whole thing so much harder to deal with. In an intellectual and humanistic sense, I'm grateful to be alive, to be intelligent, to be healthy, to be successful, and all of those things.... on the flip side, I find small talk insufferable, people who complain about their parents abhorrent, and clearly I've developed the same self-righteousness that you're talking about. I just moved from New York to Texas and when I see a person in their 20's or 30's panhandling, the reaction is just too much. It's this crazy combination of "That could have been me," and "Get a freaking job!" that I really don't deal well with.
Have you found any support groups, books, or individual therapists that helped at all?
I just joined this site a few days ago and came upon your group and of course this discussion.
I'm in a little bit of awe right now at how much I am in agreement with how you see others when they complain about 'the little things' as well as your humanistic approach. I even wrote about this in my profile section. It's a very rare thing I think, to go through our kind of trauma (although not completely alike) and come out of it a 'survivor' with at least a grateful approach to life. It's a struggle every single day.
I had to write and comment on it even though this thread is over two years old.
Thank you for creating this group and do hope you are faring well in Austin.