Please, please read this, I need help so bad...

My heart hurts... It hurts so bad... I can't stop it, no matter what I do, it just hurts... I can't even explain it in words, it's so painful... 

I want to scream, I want to cry, I want someone to hold me, I want someone to listen... I want him back. I want to hear his raspy voice and his lisp. I want to see his tender, brown green eyes. I want to see his sweet, toothy smile and I want to hear him say my name, the special way he always did. I want to hug him and tell him how much I love him. 

I was there when he died. I tried to close his eyes but his eyelids wouldn't close all the way. They were out of focus... Dead... I couldn't look at them that way. Not his. I tried to close them but they wouldn't. I got blood on my hoodie but I don't even remember seeing blood. I just remember his eyes. Everyone was screaming. I couldn't let go.

He's my twin. We were 12 then. I'm 17 now. And I still hold my breath so I dont feel it as bad, even if just for a moment. I still feel like I could weep into oblivion, I still feel like if I start crying I might never stop. I can't even say his name anymore and I feel horrible for that but I just can't. I don't know what to do, I'm so lost.

Views: 679

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

Mel

I would encourage you to follow this link and read the brochure.

It is a different point of view about death. Why we die, what happens when we die, and the future for those that have died. And of course the promise that we can see our loved ones again in the future.

http://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/1101994007

If you have any questions please let me know. And know that I just hope to offer any comfort to you that I can

Dennis
I liked the video, the music is very cool. I have a beardy too, she's kind of mean. I'm so sorry for your loss, he was very handsome and it sucks what happened. I can't accept my brotherbis gone and I am so sad and depressed too..there arent many words to say except you are not alone..i have not felt my brothers presence i guess im not ready but i hope it brings me comfort and i pray the same for you. sending you blessings Cynthia
Hi Mel are you ok today? Everyday is up and down know im thinking of you, Cyn Rios

RSS

Latest Activity

James D. Thornsberry and Natasha are now friends
Monday
James D. Thornsberry posted a photo

Jim

Life at Online Grief Support
Monday
Jennifer replied to Robin H's discussion Lost my Partner who wasn't my partner in the group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Welcome to the group.  I lost my partner on February 5th this year, so it's still pretty raw for me too.  Reading through your story really touched a chord with me.  Like you, I didn't think I would ever find a group like…"
May 1
Jennifer joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
May 1
Jennifer and William Gardener are now friends
May 1
dream moon JO B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"i miss mom so mush i do"
Apr 11
Susan E Marshall commented on Susan E Marshall's photo
Thumbnail

My husband

"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
Apr 6
Natasha updated their profile
Apr 5

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service