Hello,

 Just wanted to introduce myself to this exclusive club that none of us wants to belong to and yet, have to. My sons death was on April 5th. He chose suicide in the early morning hours. It's been nothing but a roller coaster of emotions every since.

My wife and I are really trying to get past this and I'll tell you, it's not easy! My heart goes out to all who have suffered the loss of a loved one because I know how it feels. Many times in our lives, we encounter loss. But sometimes a loss can seem so devastating that it's hard to even function.

 I went to the grocery store today and lost my shopping cart several times, and I mean lost all memory of where it was. I did keep finding it but then I'd lose it again, as my wife and I just kind of wandered around the store.

 Tomorrow being mothers day is going to be exceptionally hard on my wife. We've already had to face what would have been his 38th birthday in April 12th.  He lived with us which I guess makes this even harder. I haven't been able to even begin clearing out his room.

All I can say is that we're completely out of sorts but finding ways to get through. Anyway, I just wanted to introduce myself. I'll probably be journal-ling a lot on this site as writing is the main thing that helps me these days. Somehow when I write, I seem to connect with my soul and that gives me strength.

Anyways, good to meet you folks and understand that as I grieve for my loss I also grieve for others in the same position of loss.

May you find peace,

Chuck

 

Views: 144

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I am sorry for your loss. My dad took his own life almost 9 years ago this July and I am still not over the fact I found him. He had been dealing with depression for years and sadly it was not his first attempt although well his last cause he succeeded. I had tried for years to get him help. My heart goes out to you and your family and I am here if you ever need to talk
I am so sorry for your loss!! I do know and understand what you are going through!! My son Matthew took his own life in June 13th 10 day before his 26 birthday! He checked into a super 8 on a Monday and the staff found him dead on a Thursday!! When I was able to recover his belongings which wasn’t much I came across his phone and all it said was I committed suicide this was not an accident!! I do not know how to go through my days I can’t breathe and I constantly have a pain in my chest! When I laugh it’s fake when I say I’m ok I’m not!! 3 years prior to Matthews death my step son died of an overdose at the age of 21!! I feel as though happiness is not what I’m supposed to have!! You would think that my husband and I would be able to grieve together seeing as though we are in the same “club” but the problem is that he has no emotions and I’m overwhelmed with emotion!! When I cry he walks away when he is upset I’m selfish because the only thing that consumes me is my son!! I have 2 other boys and I love them but I am emotionally unattached!! I hope maybe you can share somethings to help me!! I am at the end of my strength I feel like when I take one step forward I go 50 backwards!! I hope that you can find peace as I hope I eventually will!! Thank you for story!!

May you find a little comfort,

Melissa

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

Profile IconConnie ricke and rebecca wrobel joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
6 minutes ago
Ammy commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello Sue M & Shirelle, I am sorry for your loss.  I know the pain well.  And like Sue said, it does get "less sharp".  I don't think it ever goes away but definitely less intense.We lost our son nine and a half…"
8 minutes ago
Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"im sorry Shirelle, the computer changed your name to Shirley. "
16 hours ago
Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello Shirley, im so sorry for you and your family. I know how deep, sharp, and unimaginable this pain is. I know too how it breaks you up and your world too. It was like looking through a broken kaleidoscope for me. Nothing seemed whole, I trusted…"
16 hours ago
rebecca wrobel joined Jarvis's group
Thumbnail

I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
21 hours ago
Shirelle commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"My son came home for 3 month then died"
22 hours ago
Shirelle commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"My son pass away Nov 25 at 936am my life has not been the same I really feel lost , empty nothing to live for but I have 3 other kids I love them more than anything I just don't know what to do please can someone help me"
22 hours ago
Shirelle joined Kar's group
Thumbnail

Missing my Son or Daughter

For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.See More
22 hours ago
Billy Jo Colt left a comment for Miriam Holmes
"Hi Miriam, You have my deepest admiration and empathy. I don't have any family left to speak of. For years there was no one to talk to about my daily life. Although I found it difficult to be open with people and preferred to help them rather…"
Saturday
M Adams commented on Miriam Holmes's blog post Healing Repetition
"Miriam, thanks for what you’ve said here, think it will be helpful to many other people here and I hope writing it down will help you as well.  What you say about the way you miss your uncle, the loss of rituals and of his expressions of…"
Saturday
Shirelle posted a status
"It will be 2 months since my son pass I'm feel do lost I'm don't want to work but have bills I don't want to talk to anyone just want to cry"
Friday
Miriam Holmes posted a blog post

Healing Repetition

An uncle in our family committed suicide.  For five years his wife, Aunt Alice, said the same things over and over again to anyone who would listen.  We are a loving family, so we listened and said the same hopefully comforting things back to her again and again.  And after five years she was done and could move on.  I hope it doesn't take five years, but I need to talk about my Uncle Jim and my cousin Paul and probably repeat myself a lot. It took a long time to develop my relationship with…See More
Friday
Katherine A Pericas Geersten commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, My name is Katherine.  I am learning how to deal with the loss of my mom, she passed away two months ago.My mom was never my best friend, but she was so much more. She made me the person that I am today and living without her has…"
Friday
Katherine A Pericas Geersten joined Karen's group
Thumbnail

I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Friday
Katherine A Pericas Geersten posted a discussion

Hello, a little bit about me.

Two months ago, my mom committed suicide. As of now, this has to be one of the hardest things I have ever dealt with in my life. I hope that through this forum I may be able to just reach out to someone who can kind of understand what my situation is like.My friends try to talk to me (and I do reach out to them) but I feel that the situation I am in is a really heavy thing to talk about (basically I don't want to rope my friends into my troubles, nor do I want to be a burden to them). I talk to…See More
Friday
Profile IconRonald Gordon and Dona Fiedler joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
Miriam Holmes left a comment for Dona Fiedler
"Dona, I am so sorry for your pain.  A difficult relationship like yours always leaves all sorts of conflicting feelings that are hard to sort out.  I hope that the support you receive here will help you find your way to a better place."
Thursday
Miriam Holmes left a comment for Dona Fiedler
"Hi, I'm brand new, too.  I needed some place to talk out the grief that other people don't understand and don't really want to listen to.  Hopefully, this will be a helpful place for both of us.  Whatever your loss, I…"
Thursday
Miriam Holmes posted a blog post

The Little Things

This morning there was a crescent moon.  I always called it a "fingernail moon," but my cousin Paul called it a "toenail moon."  I got all choked up seeing it.  Then the Valentine cards are out at Walmart.  He loved all the holidays, and I always sent him cards.  But no more.  More tears to fight back.  Sometimes his love for you would overflow, and he would just have to give you a big hug and tell you that he loved you right then and there.  I have never had anyone else do that for me.  I knew…See More
Thursday
Profile IconNovember and Arlene Vesia joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jan 21

© 2020   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service