Charles Alexander
  • Male
  • Buena Vista, co.
  • United States
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New here after sons choice of suicide
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Hello, Just wanted to introduce myself to this exclusive club that none of us wants to belong to and yet, have to. My sons death was on April 5th. He chose suicide in the early morning hours. It's…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Faith Jun 3.

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Faith replied to Charles Alexander's discussion New here after sons choice of suicide
"I am sorry for your loss. My dad took his own life almost 9 years ago this July and I am still not over the fact I found him. He had been dealing with depression for years and sadly it was not his first attempt although well his last cause he…"
Jun 3
Charles Alexander commented on Zeena's blog post Three Months
" Loss is a terrible emotion! I'm living my own grief fight now but I know what you mean about friends, how we relate to them and how they relate to us. Just this past mothers day I called my mom to wish her a happy mothers day and we got…"
May 14
Charles Alexander posted blog posts
May 13
Charles Alexander replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely
" I have to agree that it seems pretty empty at times after a loss. The world moves on while we're stuck in the middle of of something we can't quite understand. They're still there I think but not as engaged as we'd like…"
May 13
morgan commented on Charles Alexander's blog post Those first days
"Charles,  Thank you for sharing your blog.  I think it helps all of us to read what others are thinking and how they might be coping.  There are some of us who have been on this site for years and we come here in the hopes that…"
May 12
Charles Alexander posted a blog post

Those first days

This is an entry that I wrote in my personal journal. I'm adding them to begin my blog.Our son chose suicide in the early morning hours on Friday, April fifth of this year (2019). As is always the case in these situations, my wife and I have many questions. Many of those questions will never be answered, simply because Phil isn’t here to answer them. Of the others, I’m sure we’ll eventually figure out the answers.We’ve been through those first hard days already. The ones where there is no hope,…See More
May 11
Charles Alexander posted a discussion

New here after sons choice of suicide

Hello, Just wanted to introduce myself to this exclusive club that none of us wants to belong to and yet, have to. My sons death was on April 5th. He chose suicide in the early morning hours. It's been nothing but a roller coaster of emotions every since.My wife and I are really trying to get past this and I'll tell you, it's not easy! My heart goes out to all who have suffered the loss of a loved one because I know how it feels. Many times in our lives, we encounter loss. But sometimes a loss…See More
May 11
Charles Alexander is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
May 11

Profile Information

About Me:
I'm a private drywall contractor. Before my sons choice of suicide, I was very active in supporting others with smoking cessation.
About my Loss:
Our son chose suicide on April 5th and my wife and I are still reeling from the loss.

Charles Alexander's Blog

An Empty Canvas

 Today is different for me and yet it isn’t. During the night when I woke, I could feel sadness though it didn’t seem to be a focused sadness. It was just there. And then I ended up having what I think was something like a panic attack. We were prescribed a very weak dose of an antianxiety med by our doctor so I took one of those and was able to sleep at last!

But in a way, I just put off what I was feeling and so today is again a sad day. My…

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Posted on May 13, 2019 at 11:47am

A birthday without our son

 This is the second thing I wrote in my journal a few days ago.

On this day that would have been our sons birthday, I find that I cannot celebrate his life quite yet because I’m still grieving him. It’s only been twelve days since he left us and at times it still feels like he’s here.

A brief flash in the corner of the eye that looks like him. The simple glance to his bedroom door…

Continue

Posted on May 12, 2019 at 10:29pm

Those first days

This is an entry that I wrote in my personal journal. I'm adding them to begin my blog.

Our son chose suicide in the early morning hours on Friday, April fifth of this year (2019). As is always the case in these situations, my wife and I have many questions. Many of those questions will never be answered, simply because Phil isn’t here to answer them. Of the others, I’m sure we’ll eventually figure out the answers.…

Continue

Posted on May 11, 2019 at 7:17pm — 1 Comment

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi AllHope you all are doing great. I felt really discomfort yesterday, not sure why. I remembered my mother and talked to her, felt better. Sometimes I feel she is around. "
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dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"evry now agan i still loss my way i do"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today we Remember 9/11. I can't even imagine the terror and heartbreak the families must still have. Losing my Husband Julian under normal circumstances was bad enough.  God Bless all the people that still suffer from this horrible…"
Sep 11
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan, Thanks so very much for your supportive letter. Sorry i didn't see it before. I replied to it just now, Sending you love and good wishes."
Sep 10
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you friends for sharing your thoughts. I don't know what I do, if I didn't have this place to come to. We are all suffering and the real world just doesn't understand what we are going through. I miss the tender touch of my…"
Sep 10
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I have nothing that I want to or have to, to keep me busy except doing what I'm doing which has to have something to do with Her.  Like yesterday, I found a small  3/4 X 2 1/2 inch bottle with a cork when I went to the dollar store…"
Sep 9
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Check your inbox for a message from me. Joe,  So true.  That's exactly why I post here too.  I keep thinking if I get it off my chest and out into cyberspace at least I know I wont be suffering alone.  That consoles…"
Sep 9
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello All, I am sorry that I have not posted here for a while now to show my support for you. On August 4th it was the fifth anniversary of Joseph's passing. I just don't have the strength or energy anymore to keep pushing to survive each…"
Sep 9
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I'm in the 19th month and don't know what to say, except that the only time I'm not living this horrible nightmare is when I sleep and don't dream at all.  Even when I post in a way to try to console anyone here, in a way,…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Once again I want to Thank You for sharing you thoughts with us. You put into words the things I don't know how to express."
Sep 9
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I don't mean to be a downer, but I am not sure there is an end to our grief. I know mine is still going strong. I wish the good things in my life were as consistent as this is. We have to keep moving though. Keep taking baby steps. Assay…"
Sep 8
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John T,   I saw your post late late last night.  I see you are still doing your best to cope. I remember a time that I wasn't even coping. I was barely standing.  After six years seven months I have become anesthetized.…"
Sep 8
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All, Today I suddenly had grief all over the day. I miss my mother a lot and it seems that there is no end to this grief. Hope I meet her someday when I leave this world.  Just wanted to share my feelings here because people around me…"
Sep 8

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