I’ve been through a lot.

 

In 2014, my father became officially bedridden on Christmas day due to Frontotemporal dementia and my sister was diagnosed with stage 3 colon cancer. She went through operations, a colostomy bag, and 6 months of chemo.

 

In 2015, my husband’s play went to Broadway, and for that play he was nominated for a Tony award, as was the play itself, the playwright, and 3 of the actors.

We went to the Tony award ceremony on June 7, and the next day, out of the blue, he told me he wanted a divorce. This was totally unexpected and an enormous shock to me.

 

In September, 3 months after that, my sister’s doctor found a tumor in her ovary. It was removed, and sent to the lab. We learned her colon cancer had metastasized, and that she now has stage 4 colon cancer. Fortunately, she has been clear for 3 years.

 

My father is still alive, somehow, but he is like a 2 month old infant. He can't talk or do anything for himself and he doesn't know who we are. 

I have had an enormous spiritual awakening as a result of all this, but there is also incredible damage to my heart, damage that caused me to push away the man who became my best friend and love of my life after everything happened. He is gone now. He doesn’t trust me anymore.

 

I am healing, but in a lot of pain still. I thought this board could help.

 

Thank you.

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That is a lot of shit to deal with, all at once. It's good your sister is ok now. 

If the man who you feel is your best friend and the love of your life were to come back now, do you think you would be ready to be with him now?

Such a good question.
No, probably not. I've finally come to the place where I have accepted that I have to accept it's over. That feels like a big step.
I agree, that is a big step. You should be proud of yourself for being able to take that step. ((((Hugs))))

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