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It's been a really tough few weeks. October is a bittersweet month. Bens anniversary, on the 7th. My 32nd wedding anniversary on the 9th, and the death of my sweet Lil Del on the 17th. I thought I could handle it all very well this year. Then I got sick. I figured it was bad, but I wasn't sure what was going on. I had some tests run, because I haven't been able to take in much food or liquids, and have been having awful pain in my abdomen. Well turns out I have a huge bleeding ulcer in the…
ContinuePosted on October 8, 2014 at 11:21pm — 1 Comment
Why, why, why? Why you? Why me? Why anyone? Hell if I know. If I knew the answer to that, WOW. I get asked that question so many times, and all I can say is I don't know. When I get frustrated with the whole thing I ask myself Why not me? Why not you? What the heck do I know? Because I'm a 2 time loser I should know the answer to that. I've lost many family, and close friends over the years, and it never gets any easier. I do however get through it. How you ask? I have no idea. I guess when…
ContinuePosted on August 31, 2014 at 8:08pm — 6 Comments
I think I just blew a fuse. I generally do my best to be positive, but today I read a post that said that God picks and chooses who lives and who dies.
specifically it said that God chooses children to die so that he has younger angels in heaven. That's such crap. I'm so upset I can barely type. Why would a person post poetry like that? How can writings such as that be of any comfort? Obviously the person who wrote that poem knows nothing of which they write. I understand the need to…
ContinuePosted on August 20, 2014 at 6:24pm — 3 Comments
Last week I cleaned our garage. It was pretty bad. I hadn't touched anything in there for 4 years. That was the time we put most of Bens personal things in the garage that his roommate, and buddies brought to us. We had it all at the farm, and brought it to our house in town 4yrs ago. I guess my feelings are that you don't have to get rid of anything until your ready. I have things that I have had since Lil Del died. I will never part with those things, and that's OK! I knew I had to move…
ContinuePosted on July 18, 2014 at 7:21pm — 1 Comment
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Hi Anne
Just wondering how you are these days. I just read your latest blog post and am SO sorry for all the physical problems you have to endure right now. It must be such a hard month for you and to have all this pain on top of it really sucks. I just want you to know that I think of you often and miss your posts. I know we all have to take a break now and then. I am approaching Daniel's anniversary and it's so hard. I am always inspired at your strength and endurance. Thank you for that and I hope you are feeling better soon. Love and prayers are with you. Connie
Anne..your just being blunt..should not scare people..true friends listen and care no matter what the situation is.
Anne, how are you able to let your family prevent you from talking about your boys? You have the right to speak about them. It seems so selfish of them to put you on a guilt trip when you mention them. Have you ever told them just how much additional pain that puts you through? I would think that it would also create a "wall" between you and your girls. You're strong, but sometimes it's OK not to be.
Thank you Anne , Its good to have you as a friend as well. I have read many of your posts. My heart goes out to you .
Great!! My Mom's 1 yr anniversary is on Friday...has been a rough few months.
Sometimes it's hard to read the threads on here, sometimes they just make me sadder, yesterday though; I had no problems and actually found some comfort. Thanks again for accepting the friend request. BTW I have PTSD as well.
Anne,
I have not been posting on the wall as I am going through a relapse of sorts. Numbness, sadness, anger, sudden tears, heartache all at once again. Just waiting for another reprieve.
I am sorry I didn't know earlier that today was Ben's 6th year gone. Even though I know the pain of grief, I still don't know the words that could comfort. Does anyone know? Are there any words? No, I don't think it's the words, it's the presence. Someone's presence; whether in thought or physically. So, I don't know any special words, but I do know grief and I am with you in my thoughts and prayers.
I hope that you were able to find some good memories to help you through the day.
I also hope your health is better. Take care. (((HUGS)))
Thank you for becoming my friend is appreciated very much. Judy Edwards
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