I accept I will be alone, but why the hell can't my friends

I saw someone I knew today, she came over and hugged me and told me how sorry she was to hear about Andy, and she proceeded to have a proper conversation with me , which is so rare these days as most people I know seem to avoid me now, I think that don't know what to say to me , anyway I was thinking how lovely and kind she was , and then she uttered the words"but your only 42 you will meet someone else one day" for fucks sake, why do people always say this to me , it drives me mad , and quite frankly I find it really offensive,  can they not understand I never want any one else , no one else will ever make me happy and I will not do 2nd best, I can't think off anything worse than being near another man, I won't, I believe that you have one soul mate in this world and I had mine, and he's still mine, he will always be mine, anyone else would simply be a lie, I accept that I will go though this life alone, and I'm ok with that, just because Andy has died doesn't mean I will betray him , I wouldn't if he was alive and I certainly won't now he's not here, I love him     always. I've had a few friends say the same thing to me , but as none of them have had to watch their husbands die , it makes me angry that by saying, oh you'll meet someone new, means in someway I'll get over his death , but I won't , I never will EVER.

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Comment by bluebird on May 20, 2016 at 8:01pm

Alice, i know what you mean -- if people think we will find and be with another, then they have not been listening to us, and/or they don't believe the truth of the feelings we have for our soulmates and they for us.

You and Mori are lucky that you have faith in the continued existence of your soulmates.  I hope beyond everything that my husband's beautiful soul still exists, but i just don't know.

Comment by bluebird on May 14, 2016 at 8:32pm

I very much understand. I will not ever be with anyone other than my husband. I have absolutely zero interest in doing so. We are married, and we always will be.  I will not abide by anyone saying to me "Oh, you're still young, you will find someone else".  No.  I very quickly put them straight, I tell them that I will not ever be with anyone else, will not ever date anyone else, my beloved husband and I are and always will be married, period. 

I think people make that kind of stupid statement partly because they want to make us feel better and think that might do it (they don't realize that for some of us, we are simply never going to "feel better", that we are now stuck in hell), and partly because it's kind of a way for them to feel better, imagining that we will somehow "get over" the deaths of our beloved soulmates.   I guess some people do eventually decide to date and possibly remarry; personally, I don't understand that in the least, but whatever, that's their life and their choice -- but for me, that will never happen, the very idea is anathema.

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