Thank you for all you have done

I want to thank you for all you have done for us, and our children.
 
I sit and think of all the work you did, to raise us by yourself. I remember how sad I felt when I saw you sitting in front of the sewing machine after talking to dad, when he was in new Jersey.
 
. You were crying, I was not sure what it was about then. But I grew to learn later.
 
You used to sit up all night and make me and Miriam these  perfect little dresses,
 
 I remember being jealous of the other kids with their store bought clothes, when you put so much love into every stitch. And I look back and see we were a very well dressed bunch of kids
 
Holidays were made special for us, the surprise on Easter morning waking to find the fluffy baskets made out of Clorox bottles turned in to rabbits,
 
, And how you must have sat up all night to make them for us. We never saw you making them.
 
 
 
Till I was in JR high I think I still believed in Santa clause, I never remember NOT ever having a happy Christmas, I always wondered how you did it!  Because of you, I would later tell my children, If you stop believing in Santa Clause , then you lose hope, Santa Clause is the love that is in the heart of giving. That is where I learned the spirit of giving!
 
 You taught us to work hard and feel blessed in what we had.  As much as we hated waking up and going on the paper route, we learned good work habits.
 
 As I grew older and became a teenager, as many do, I became more and more rebellious.  I put you through some scary times. 
 I decided one time  to run away,I know how scared you were , and you looked and looked for me and then I had an appendicitis attack, I had no choice but to call you.You came right away,and took me to the hospital,  I think you were more scared then I was.  Rolling into the
 operating room, the last thing I remember, was you standing outside of the room as they wheeled me down the hall.  I saw the worry on your face  through a little window. I remember how safe I felt knowing you were there.
 
 I never had the courage to tell you that. The worry I put you through, Oh how I wished I knew then what I know now.
 
Mom You have been there for me, even during my crazy life changing experiences I went through, losing faith in myself, stumbling along, making mistakes.  Things I was not proud of. But you still were there for me .  We had differences in opinions, but you were still there.  As you have been there for your grandchildren!!
 
 
 
I miss the younger days, when we looked forward to Stake conference.    That was the night every year, that the wizard of OZ was on.  And that was a special day I will never forget. You would pull out the TV trays, and the MEAL of the year, was those wonderful TV dinners they came out with, and we would get to sit in the front room in front of the TV and watch the Wizard of OZ and eat those Magical dinners!!!!
 
You were always there for gramma, and back in the days , you used to have us sit on the phone for hours, while the phone rang and rang, till gramma put her hearing aids in and answered,
 
And I don't remember how many days a week, when we didn't have a car, that you would put John and Nathan in the stroller, Miriam would hold the side of the stroller, and as much as I hated it, you would make me hold marks hand, as we walked from West valley to redwood road and all the way up to grammas house behind the capital .
 
Your love showed with everything you did
 
 
My birthday!!  The day I remember forever. When you had my Brothers and sister take me for a long walk, and arriving home, I walked into a decorated kitchen , with a cake and so many presents. And you gave me Grandma Zetterquist   Vanity with the mirrors that pulled in, and I could see my whole self and felt like a princess , and the presents that sat for me to open, had a pink container to organize My new hair brush and comb and all those girlie things.  The most special day for me
 
I wish I could go back and redo time, and appreciate all you sacrificed for 5 wild children! But I know in your heart you understand we had to go through what we did to become who we are!
 
Mom I love you More then you will ever know!!!
 
This last year watching you struggle and holding on to the faith that you will one day return home, How strong you were. I would never have been able to endure what you have in this last year!, The pain you have suffered , the neglect from care givers that we  trusted would take care of you! And you would bounce back!!  Your body was giving out, But your mind was still as vibrant as ever.  At times watching you just lay there is the times my memories would go back in time, and remember all the things you put aside for us. And I hope you know I REMEMBER!!! And will never forget. I love you mom!!!
 
I know you were scared,And I am feeling lost already
 
Mom I am proud to be your daughter . And I see certain things in myself, that is a reflection of you. I wish there was more of you in me at times but your teachings live on.
 
I feel so blessed that we were able to be with you, Miriam, Mark, and Nathan, and Anthony, and Adrian and I were able to be with you, as you left your pain behind, and continued the journey. It was the hardest thing for all of us, to watch you leave. You are our Mother, and our hearts broke as you left this world. But you are singing with your beautiful voice, in heaven with the Angels, and I know you will be there watching over all of us
 I will miss calling you just to say Good Morning.
I love you mom, and I miss you.

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