My wife of 22 years passed away from inflammatory breast cancer on March 8/15.  We started dating when she was 15 and I was 16.  We have 2 beautiful daughters aged 12 and 8.  I am putting on a brave face on the outside but I am devastated mentally.  This is not the way life was suppose to go.  She took good care of herself and didn't smoke or drink.  It should have been me.  She battled this disease for 2 years and took numerous chemo radiation and surgical methods to fight it.  All for not.  .While she was fighting it I stood by her side 24/7.  I quit my job so I could take her to all of her appointments and take care of the girls.  She was told after her chemo radiation and surgery that her margins were clear and the cancer was gone.  We were able to travel to Murtle beach for a family vacation and it seemed like we were getting our life back.  In the early fall she got a sore throat that wouldn't clear up.  She went to numerous Doctors and was told it was nothing.  She  even called her oncologist and told him. He said he didn't think it was a reoccurance.  After about another month of this this we insisted on having some tests   completed.  We received the results.  The cancer had spread to liver lungs and bones.  I'll never forget that day.  Our whole world as we new it ended.  She fought hard for another 3 months and tried anything and everything.  The meds alone were starting to kill her. She tried so bad to be here for the girls and me.  She didn't deserve this fate.  We were suppose to grow old together and have another25 or 30 years together.  I don't no how to live without her.  Even when she couldn't walk near the end she was here to give me guidance.  I miss her so much and sometimes I just wish I could be with her an d get rid of this pain I'm feeling.  I can't do this as I have to be here for my daughters.  I promised Karen I would be strong for our daughters and I will.  I have no living parents and my mother in law is 84.  I feel so alone and broken inside.  It's a struggle to get out of bed every morning but I have too.  No young girls should be without their mommy.  If anybody has any advice I would appreciate it.  Ill add a picture to my site but I'm kind of computer illiterate. Please bear with me.   Thanks  Todd

Views: 152

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by Michael Thompson on May 3, 2015 at 10:22am

Todd, im very worried about you because I know how you feel.. Please make contact.

Michael UK

Comment by Michael Thompson on April 23, 2015 at 8:04am

Hi Todd, im new to this site, im not sure how it works, because ive sent you a friend request.  

I'm 67 years old, I lost my dear wife to cancer on September 18 last year 2014, after she had a 10 month battle with this rotten disease. 

The quiet is deafening. The loneliness is equally so. There is now no rapport between she and I to carry me through the day. 

When you share a huge part of your life with someone like a wife or a husband, and they suddenly die for whatever reason, everything changes in your life and world, the little things you might have taken for granted each day, became the big things. There is now no rapport, no one to talk with about the things that you talked about, it is like suddenly being in a jail with no windows or doors, you are mentally and emotionally, trapped. 

My wife was a Yorkshire Terrier lover all her life, to her these dogs were'nt just dogs, they were little people, part of the family. Although I know I am no compensation for my wife's lap, and all the kisses she got from our now two year old Yorkie pup, I promised my wife I would take care of her as she would have done,

Latest Activity

dream moon JO B commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"i miss mom so mush i do"
Apr 11
Susan E Marshall commented on Susan E Marshall's photo
Thumbnail

My husband

"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
Apr 6
Susan E Marshall and William Gardener are now friends
Apr 6
Natasha updated their profile
Apr 5
Angie Rowland joined Rita-Cecile's group
Thumbnail

LESBIAN ..GAY 2 SPIRITED loss and grief

Anyone who has lost their gay partner..soon finds that there may be a few things that are different...such as sorting through things and feeling like an intruder because it is also family stuff etcSee More
Apr 3
Speed Weasel posted a blog post

Assumptions

An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true.  Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions.  This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
Mar 13
Profile IconCari Jo Converse, Jennifer and James D. Thornsberry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 13
Profile IconMarina Dsouza, Leah, Sandra M Aaron and 5 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Mar 5

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service