Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
Ok...this is my first blog and visit to this site. I have been looking for a way to express my grief. I thought this site was a way to tell people how I feel, that can understand better then most people.
I'm 24 and I've lost both my parents. I lost my dad when I was 17. He was murdered and his killer was never caught. At the time, I thought that was going to be the hardest thing I would ever have to go through. My dad and I were best friends. He was there for everything in my life. I can remember that awful day moment by moment.
A few months later, my mother sat me down to tell me that she had been dealing with Lukemia for the past year. My first thought was...is she going to die too? Will my sister (who is 2 years younger than me) and I be alone? My mom explained that everything was going alright with her treatment. The next few years, everything seemed normal enough...mom would just go to the doctor for a chemo treatment.
In April, mom sat my sister and I down and told us that they found cancer cells in her lungs. It turned out to be Mesothelioma. Mom died in August...the 14th to be exact...it was a horrible disease. Watching her go from a strong, vibrant woman who worked everyday even through chemo and cancer trials turn into a frail women who couldn't open her eyes, taste, speak, or hear. It was horrible. One day, I may go into more detail.
Three months later, I am lost and don't have a parent to talk to. I'm listening to all this advice and I feel as if everyone is trying to pull me in different directions. I just wish I had one more conversation...one more set of advice that I trust....
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Eliza, reading this I could identify with everything you say. I am 26 and lost both my parents in the last year. Dad died in December 2010 and my Mom in September 2011. I too have a younger sister, also 2 years younger than I am. I am not married and have no children. I also struggle with taking people's advice, so many people giving their opinions, but all I wish is to speak to my parents. My mom and I were very close, I feel an emptiness and pain inside me I cannot explain to anyone, nobody understands how I feel. It hurts so much knowing I will never see her or my dad again. My mom was also a very tough strong person. She endured so much, she beat ovarian cancer 12 years ago, and she was a diabetic too. She had a stroke last year August and after my dad's unexpected death in December she just went backwards, I had to watch as her health deteriorated. She died of a heart attack. My dad was also such a strong healthy person and he died from an operation that went wrong, but the autopsy results showed he had pancreas cancer and it was so severe he wouldn't have lived long in any case. It is still so unreal that they are gone. If you ever want to talk I am here for you...
Elaine, i hope that you don't take this the wrong way but this is out of my personal experience. I am 39yrs old grew up
without knowing what it means to say i love you to a child bc i never hard the chance. So my dear, when you get up in the morning just say lord i thank you for another day and please give me the opportunity to be a good parent to my own kids just like my beloved parents. Tell God to give you peace and the grace to be what he want you to be so that one day you will have the chance to see your parents again. God bless you and your sister and may you have a wonderful thanks giving in Jesus name. AMEN.
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