Anthony,

 When we had these talks about what happened if one of us died, those were for my knowledge....I am the sick one. I told you, I told you, I told you, I can't do this without you. When I found your lifeless body in your car, I wanted to die! What happened? I keep kicking myself in the ass for giving you space and just going inside.....I should have brought you in with me. I should have came out sooner.....I should have.........something! I know you hate seeing me in pain but…