"i miss mom so mush i do"
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am 30 years old. Love animals, outdoors, reading, singing, history and the paranormal.
- About my Loss:
- I met Eric online 7 1/2 months before he passed. We met in a chat room. He could see I was sad and empty, that something was missing. We eventually started talking on skype, some days for hours. We fell in love. He said I was his soul mate...I believe him. Neither of us was looking for love. It just happened. It happened at the most inconvenient time. I already had a boyfriend, but I wasn't happy. As time went on we decided we were going to be together. Problem was he was in the UK and I in Canada. Immigration is difficult but we were going to do it. Then the day came, he had been feeling ill for 3 weeks. One day I tried calling him on skype, emailing him and wasn't getting a reply. It was unlike him, I called his cell numerous times. Panic set in, I knew something was really wrong. I knew he was gone before I even got the call. I could feel him. HIs room mate that night informed me he had passed away in his sleep. He was only 39 years old. He had heart failure. I am frustrated! The love of my life gone before we had a chance to spend it together physically. We had planned on getting married and having a family. I am not getting any younger. I have never had somebody love me as much as him. He always told me I was beautiful and that he loved me all day everyday and he supported me. I am empty and lost, I miss my best friend, my love Eric.
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Happy 40th Birthday!
Well it's been a few weeks since I last wrote. It's not that I don't think about him, but I think I'm all cried out and everything I wanted to say was said I guess. However, that being said I am writing because this has been a difficult day for me, even more so tomorrow. Tomorrow would have been Eric's 40th birthday. The one he did not want to spend alone and was hoping to be here already with me. I heard from his niece that they are going to go out and celebrate it next weekend. Wish I was…
ContinuePosted on March 27, 2011 at 8:24pm
Eric's shirt
Received Eric's stuff today in the mail that his sister had sent me. I must of known it would be here today. I felt nervous all morning and was thinking about it. Part of me was scared to open it because of the emotions that would come from seeing, touching smelling his stuff. I went through the book he was writing in to me. It was obvious how much he loved me, and how much he was looking forward to our future. This makes me so sad and frustrated. I don't think I will ever find anybody like…
ContinuePosted on March 7, 2011 at 9:55pm
If tomorrow starts without me
If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time that you think of me,
I…
Continue Posted on March 4, 2011 at 7:15am — 1 Comment
hoarding
Today was a bit of a bad day. Might have something to do with going back to my regular shift which means I worked alone and had time to think. So hard getting use to not checking my phone for messages from him. Im a bit upset because I feel like I need to talk to someone but I dont have anybody to talk to. Nobody on my side gets it, or understands what Eric and I had. So they think I am ok or that I shouldn't be upset. That I only knew him for 7 months and that I never met him in person.…
ContinuePosted on February 28, 2011 at 9:30pm — 1 Comment
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