Lisa Green
  • Female
  • Madison, WV
  • United States
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Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Very nice mini poems Bluebell. Thank you for sharing"
Feb 5
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Kelli, it sounds like your children are very young and just don't have the capacity to understand death. A few things that came to my mind I've heard about others in your situation doing is to have them write a letter to her. You could…"
Feb 2
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hello Everyone, It's been a long time since I posted last. I'm doing well actually. I'm juggling a lot of responsibility as normal but emotionally I think I'm ok. I miss Mom always but time really has helped ease the pain and…"
Jan 31
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"As the holidays approach, I think we all cringe a little knowing we have to go through them without our moms. Last year, was the first Thanksgiving and Christmas for me without Mom. My sister and I found a way to keep Mom's traditions and…"
Nov 15, 2017
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, You couldn't be more right. My Mom kept me grounded all of my life in more ways then I ever imagined. Now that she's gone, I struggle to stay grounded but somehow I am. My Dad developed dementia from extreme grief after mom passed…"
Nov 13, 2017
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, So many things you talked about in your most recent post helped me to put some things in their proper place and realize that my feelings are not unique in that you too are feeling some of the same things I am. Thank you so much for sharing…"
Nov 13, 2017
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I'm glad your medicine helped you some. Talk to your doctor if it's not helping a lot. They may be able to adjust the dosage or even the type. There are several available and everyone's body is not the same. I look at it like…"
Oct 18, 2017
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thank you Brett. I took Abby to see Dad last Saturday and it was such a nice reunion. He was not as excited as I thought he would be but that's ok. Abby sat right beside dad the whole time and dad rubbed her head and talked to her some. He…"
Oct 18, 2017
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett,  Life is so hard and it's definitely not fair. No one should ever have to lose their Mom at any age.  My mom has been gone for 20 months and I still miss her terribly and I do still talk to her out loud in my car. It makes me…"
Oct 16, 2017
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Oh Shellie, my heart goes out to you. I lost my Mom Feb. 24, 2016 so I am coming up on one year. I can't imagine the hurt of losing a Mom could be any worse than what I've experienced but I guess there are circumstances where it certainly…"
Jan 25, 2017
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hello Olive. This may sound very strange but welcome to our club that none of us ever wanted to be a part of. The loss of my Mom has been the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. The good thing about this site is that all of us truly do…"
Jan 19, 2017
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Anna, your story brought tears to my eyes. Many of the stories here do but they also bring comfort somehow. How heartbreaking that your mom passed so close to Christmas. This will be my first Christmas without my mom and it will be a hard one. We…"
Dec 5, 2016
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Happy Thanksgiving to all. May God walk softly with all of us as we go through this holiday without our moms. For me, it is a first Thanksgiving without Mom."
Nov 23, 2016
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lindsey,  I accepted your friend request "
Nov 4, 2016
Lisa Green and Lindsay are now friends
Nov 4, 2016
Lisa Green commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lindsey, I completely relate to how you are feeling. I don't think anyone has put it into words any better than you did. I too have a husband, kids and pets and extended family that I see fairly often. I work everyday and attend my kids…"
Nov 4, 2016

Profile Information

About Me:
Married, working Mom of three
About my Loss:
I lost my Mom February 24, 2016. It's was the worst day of my life. Mom had rheumatoid arthritis for more than twenty years. She took a medication called Methetrexate and it destroyed her kidneys. She had been in 4th stage kidney disease for about four years when she went into the hospital on Feb. 17, 2016. She went in with shortness of breath and they discovered she was in afib. By the next day, they had her heart back in rhythm and she was supposed to go home in 2-3 days but through the night her blood pressure dropped severely and caused her kidneys to completely fail. It also caused septic shock.She went to ICU on a ventilator and stayed there for five days before she died. It has been a little over a month and sometimes I still feel like she's coming back to me. I still find myself talking to her all the time. I tell her I love her multiple times a day. I kiss her picture and her wedding ring that I now wear. My mom was the best friend I ever had. She loved me and my kids with absolute unconditional love. There was never, ever a time when she did not have time for me or any member of our family. Mom loved the Lord and loved her family with all her heart. Those were her priorities and nothing else mattered. I felt that love my whole life. I still do in a different way because she will always be with me in my heart and looking over me. The most difficult thing for me is finding a way to live without her in my world. Nothing really seems important anymore. Nothing is quite right. I have a loving and supportive family in my Dad, husband, siblings and children but its not the same as what I had with my Mom. It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.

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At 12:31pm on June 4, 2016, Julie M said…
Oh Lisa, Memorial Day hit me hard, too. On Monday I woke up with super swollen eyes and a sinus headache from bawling my head off.

Lisa, I can promise you that with time, it honestly will get easier. My mom is the first close family member I've lost, and we just never (my bros and I) never envisioned that our mom would precede our dad in death. He also never thought she would, either. My sister-in-law (one of my brother's wives) lost her mom in a similar way 3 years ago. She's been an amazing support person for ALL of us, especially for my dad. She's like a sister to me. So it will get easier as time passes. Again, I can only day this now after having gone through it. Like you, I was very, very close to my mom. Ugh, now crying. Here is something a friend told me when my mom was dying: it has to do with the circle of life, but he said that without a doubt, the worst suffering any person can go through is losing a child. My parents had three kids, and I'm the oldest. Though they nearly lost my youngest brother when he had a motorcycle accident, they never had to suffer through the death of one of their kids. For that, I am thankful. So in essence, losing my mom sucked. I suffered greatly. But knowing my parents never had to undergo the greatest suffering of all time did help me to accept her dying and death a bit easier. So when she was literally dying, my brothers and Dad were throwing out bargains with God left and right. My only "bargain" was this: "If you can take my mom so that she doesn't have to suffer for long, I will take on any suffering you give me. Take hers away and give it to me. That's all I ask". She passed within the half hour. I was incredibly strong and helpful for my brothers and my dad and my kids and their cousins. I never imagined myself in that role, Lisa. I always thought I'd be such a crying, anxious mess that I wouldn't be able to leave my room, let alone attend her funeral. I was stronger than I had any idea I was. I'm positive that I inherited THAT from my mom. I stayed and took care of my Dad for over a month after Mom died, and I helped him through his grief. The day after her funeral was their 50th wedding anniversary. My own family (except for my youngest son) had gone back home after the funeral, but that day with my dad was filled with both sorrow and joy. A
Late that afternoon, my brother and sister-in-law and my nieces brought dinner out for all of us. Though we were grieving, my dad most especially, it helped him to have some of his grandkids there.

I added you as a friend, but if you want to email me directly, here's my email: julesorman@gmail.com. Anytime you need a shoulder to cry on or you just need someone to listen, hit me up. You're in Wisconsin, right? I'm in St Paul. I hope this weekend is an easier one for you. I'm definitely still grieving, no doubt. Your loss is much more recent than mine; I imagine you are, too. It will be easier with time, Lisa.

Julie
At 5:16pm on May 30, 2016, Julie M said…
Hi Lisa. First time on this site, hope I'm doing this right. I'm also a married mother; I have 2 sons. My mom died on September 25, 2015. She was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer on September 14, and died in the hospital 11 days later. Her funeral was the following Friday. The day following the funeral was my mom and dad's 50th wedding anniversary.

I live in the same state was my parents, but am about 4 hours away drive time. After Mom died, I stayed "up north" with my dad for a month and a half. My mom had been his primary caretaker for many years. He was not in great health when Mom died. He and my mom had lived about 15 miles south of the city, on 80 acres of land. No neighors and they didn't farm; they just liked living in the country. It's where I grew up. My dad needed 24/7 care at the time of my mom's illness and subsequent death. My brothers and I talked with my dad about his moving to an assisted living facility in the city so that he could get the help and care that he needs. So my reason for staying with my dad after Mom died was to take care of him, to help transition him from my care to that of my brother and sister-in-law and the assisted living facility, and to help him through his grieving process. So though my Mom died in September, I didn't grieve (my body and mind didn't let me) until I went back home to my own family in mid November. For some reason, I thought that grieving, for me, was different. Like I honestly thought that my way of coping my my grief was to be a strong and supportive person for my dad, my youngest brother, and my kids and my nieces and nephews. I was so very wrong! The first morning I woke up in my own bed, grief hit me like a tsunami. Now I know exactly why people describe grief as coming in waves. It is incredibly painful. It does get better with time, but I still miss my mom soooo much. Like you, I talk to my mom as if she were right there with me. I talk to her when I'm driving alone in my car. A few times I've picked up my phone to call my mom for advice, or to see what she's up to, or to share a funny story about her grandsons with her. And then grief hits me again. Some days are good, and some days (like today) are really tough. I feel like I should be done grieving and I also feel like my husband and my brothers are beginning to lose patience with me as I'm still sad.
 
 
 

Latest Activity

Darien commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"Hello Krista,I'm afraid this forum isn't as active as some of us would like. I remember when I first came out here two years ago, raw with emotion. I still have times when I find myself still grieving, although it isn't as painful now…"
56 minutes ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I also would like to hear from Bluebell."
13 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I finally came to the realization that what I was doing wasn't working for me. And I realized that taking an anti-depressant couldn't be any worse than crying all of the time, not sleeping, and destroying myself with guilt and…"
13 hours ago
Rebecca Clemens posted a blog post

Life without them

It's been 2 years and 2 months since I lost my dad, and 1 year and 3 months since u lost my grandmother. Sometimes I feel like they were never here, like this is normal life without them. Then I have moments when I want to curl up in a ball and just cry because it hurts so much to miss them. I try to remember the good moments but all I can think about is the last days.The other day I was at the hospital with a friend and when we walked in I saw my dad, like I was shook this older women was…See More
13 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Well it probably did help me but I gained about 20 pounds and I hardly eat anything because of my IBS so I don’t know what happened"
16 hours ago
Rebecca Clemens is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
16 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Ok thanks Theresa. I sometimes want to try them but skeptical. "
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi I tried one Lexapro I did the pediatric does of 5mg"
17 hours ago
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, are you trying too many anti depressants?"
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Ok so my friend had to do the unthinkable, her dog is not suffering anymore.  But it just set off a crying spell with me. Maybe I need to go to the dr again, for the 10th time. So he can just look at me and say, do you want to try and…"
17 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Bluebell how are you?"
17 hours ago
Miriam updated their profile
yesterday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Avi, I hope your Dad is doing well.  That must have been hard on you being in the hospital.  I am also sorry you are having more guilt like me.  It’s a horrible feeling.  Also one that others don’t understand."
yesterday
Monty replied to Pamela philipp's discussion FAILING in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Im sorry for your loss no matter how long ago it is. i can only imagine the pain and emotions you are still going though. for me it was taking care of the kids and finding one thing to achieve (no matter how small) helped a lot. it was as small…"
Sunday
M Adams left a comment for Jarvis
"Thank you for creating this site, it is a lifeline for many people.  Hope your health is improving every day."
Sunday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hope every one is doing fine. Last week my father got an infection and was hospitalized so could not follow much here. Now he is better and recovering.  Virginia, you seem to be totally engrossed in the guilt which I can…"
Sunday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My boyfriend finally gave up.  I don’t blame him at all. And Brett I will tell you I don’t deserve the prayers, pray for my Mom please."
Sunday
Virginia G commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"So the dr talked to my therapist and he told her the same things he told me.  I had asked her to try to get more answers.  I actually feel worse because I had someone ask some doctors about using ventilators.  The oncologist told us…"
Sunday

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