Kim
  • Mesa, AZ
  • United States
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Kim is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 22

Profile Information

About Me:
62 retired clinical social worker.
About my Loss:
My 93yo mother passed June 28 this year. My younger sister neglected her badly; mother suffered 4 severe falls, 3 in the last 6 months. She passed in an awful nursing home, against her wishes. I was not able to convince my sister to have mother moved in with me 2 years ago after her first fall. In fact, she made it impossible for me to be a part in any decisions regarding mom's care and placement.

I am not doing well. I feel like I failed mom. I know she would not have suffered had I fought harder to bring her to me. The relationship with my sister is damaged beyond repair. Worse, the relatipnships witj my sister's two daughters, my nieces, have also been damaged.

I do not come here to be told there was nothing more I could do under the circumstances. It's ok to feel and express regret and guilt. I just need some emotional support, hopefully, from others having similar experience.

I am vascillating between deep depression and uncontrollable tears and anguish. My mother and I were very close. I was not with her when she passed...
Are You a Service Provider? If Yes, please tell us about your service.
Actually, I teach meditation.

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Groups

Latest Activity

susan zingale is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
2 hours ago
Fran replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Nicole, I'm almost 4 years out(next month). At this point the pain is generally duller. Every so often, and it doesn't have to be a birthday or anniversary, something triggers a sharper pain. My life with my husband almost seems like it…"
3 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Bluebird, Trina & Alexis, Thanks for your thoughts. Life will never be the same again. I am so glad to have such wonderful friends on this forum. God Bless You All."
4 hours ago
ALEXIS commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda and Bluebird I have been feeling the same way.  At work I am getting in all sorts of holiday items and it is hard for me to look at it or think of the holidays.  This will be my first without my husband.  I'm not quite sure…"
14 hours ago
JenShep replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Some days, yes it does. And some days it’s worse than the day you lost him. I’m two years out."
15 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Alas, time DOES NOT heal all wounds. Perhaps it heals most wounds, but not the loss of one's soulmate, the love of their life. Those people who say this, don't know any better. Either they don't understand what a soulmate is, or they…"
17 hours ago
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
18 hours ago
bluebird commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I understand, Linda. It's the same for me. ((((Hugs))))"
19 hours ago
Monty replied to Kyle McKay's discussion Lost my wife in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Kyle Im so sorry for your loss and the pain your going though. its hard at the start, especially if you don't feel you have any one to talk to. you have a sympathetic ear in here any time you need / wish to talk, i know its not the same as…"
19 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here I am at a another Holiday Season coming up. All it is, is my six Christmas without my beloved Husband. I was always told time will make things better, I guess these people never knew what a true soulmate is. I feel the same way I did six years…"
20 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Here I am at a another Holiday Season coming up. All it is, is my six Christmas without my beloved Husband. I was always told time will make things better, I guess these people never knew what a true soulmate is. I feel the same way I did six years…"
20 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would say that your mom was fortunate that she did not suffer that way. Sometimes a person will suffer for years before they die. I am certainly glad that I got to be with my mom at the end and tell her that I loved her every day, but it was…"
Wednesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I know you know I did not mean it in that way, but of course not, my question, should I be thankful she did not suffer and lay in a bed and me have to watch her suffer and be able to do nothing as so many had to do on this site.  But as you…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, I don't know if we can be thankful that our mom's died under any circumstances. "
Wednesday
Profile IconMarian Bruce and Colleen joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"True Brett Should I be thankful? My mom died in an instant she was herself until the last minute. Some say I’m lucky I didn’t have to watch her suffer. But my mom used to always say we suffer everyday in this earth. I would have been…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"No, she didn't everyone, good or bad, dies. Few people have an easy death."
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Wow Avi I believe in karma but I’m not sure that your mom has done anything wrong present or past that would make her have gotten that disease"
Tuesday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks Theressa. Yes hope the questions will be answered. In my country, lot of importance is given to Karma and it is believed that whatever you sow and you will reap the same. Not sure how this karma cycle is analyzed and who decided if this was a…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes Avi That’s what we all have to do we have to go on with our lives it’s so much easier said than done I cry sometimes uncontrollably I have hope that one day every question or any uncertainty we have will be answered"
Tuesday

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