"i miss mom so mush i do"
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Heather Bailey
- Female
- Claymont, DE
- United States
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Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am 32, IT software industry, married, one dog, live in Claymont DE, happy go lucky, singer, movie lover, traveler, chocolate lover, enjoy restaurants, and staying in to watch my tv shows.
- About my Loss:
- I lost my grandfather in 2011 who I was very close to. But most recently my mother, in 2013, 3 months after I was married. Luckily she made it to my wedding. She had a heart/lung disease. The doctors told her when I was 9 that she only had 3 years to live. She made it 21. She had to be on oxygen 24/7. She was on a lung transplant list, but in her support group saw so many die because their bodies rejected the lungs. She decided to live her life until her organs gave up, and she lasted longer than most. I was so close to my mom. She divorced my dad when I was 14 and got remarried when I was 15. My step dad was difficult, but she loved him. He took care of us. I didn't get along with him, so I moved out when I went to college. But we got along better when we didn't live together. He was bipolar, so am I but mild, not extreme. I take medication. He can be mean, and it was hard to see my mom get upset, when she was on her deathbed. Literally, on hospice, with nurses at her home. She wanted to leave several times, but couldn't. I couldn't take care of her in a tiny apartment making barely enough to support me and my then boyfriend at the time. She got through it, I visited as often as I could. I visited her the night before she passed. I was at work, my husband came and picked me up, my step-dad called him to call me because he didn't know how I would react. He called me when he got to my work to come outside. When we got to the house, my step-dad had a 'panic attack' so the ambulance was there to take him to the hospital, while my mother's dead body was being taken care of in the other room. I still hate him to this day. At the funeral he was exaggeratedly crying and getting all of the attention. I did the eulogy, no tears, because I was so angry at him. This was over 2 years ago, and I think it is starting to hit me really hard now. The anger stage has subsided and I really miss the phone calls from my mother, to tell me she loves me and misses me, and I am the most important thing in the world to her. I am an only child. My father lives in Kansas, and I don't talk to him much. He is bipolar too, go figure. He does not take medication. He is also a recovering alcoholic and drug addicts, which is another reason he won't take medication. He is more like a brother, but I learned from him what NOT to do. I feel like I need a stand in mother... I really miss the nurturing, and mother/daughter bond we had. It is something that cannot be replaced, and I will always miss...
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I miss my Mom!
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Latest Activity
My husband
"Thanks, Rosie. (I have memory problems and forgot about this site. I'm just seeing this now. April 6th)"
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An assumption is an unexamined belief: what is thought to be true without ever really realizing that we think in that way. For better or worse, understanding starts with entertaining the idea that something is true. Truly profound thoughts generally come to light from the relaxation of these (flawed) assumptions. This is where I find myself today...Perhaps, one of the more significant drivers to pushing down the loss and grief at the time of the accident, ignoring it and mindlessly walking…See More
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