Derek
  • Male
  • Dayton, OH
  • United States
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About Me:
I'm 49, I sing and play guitar
I was married for 23 yrs in 1989
She had a 4 year affair on me in 2006
And I divorced her in 2012, couldn't do it any more w/her
About my Loss:
I just lost my beautiful lover, friend and soul mate that even thoughi was married I new she exsisted, ever since I was in 5 grade I new there was this girl, and she was always in my soul, and yes I loved and cared about my wife @ the time for 23 yrs, and I met her when I was 15, I felt like she was it , her name was Sherri, my fiancé who just passed, her name is Victoria, she walked by my house in 1992 and when she did I felt her rush in my soul and I felt her and I knew she was that girl, that I had always felt exsisted, Victoria's
Husband died in 2012 and that's when I was divorcing Sherri and we ended up together, I had to have her she told me she loved her husband, but was never really in love with him, as I also felt about my ex, she said she loved me so much it hurt, she just passed away JULY 8, 2016 from cansor, went in hospital for tests for one week, then to Hospise for another week and she died,
I truly don't know what I'm going to do
I can't believe she is gone, I cannot accept this , not do I believe this is happening, I feel like some one is messing with me, even though I watched her go in the ground, I don't want to do anything and I to am sick of hearing people say that crap too, I know that's all they can come up with , this was magical how this happened and for me to feel her , my VICTORIA in the depths of my being since I was in 5 grade, and only with her for 4 yrs, is more than I can take, all I want to do is SCREAM!!!! When u truly loose ur everything, the only perfect one, what in the crap is one to do, I'm just left here now to exsist and for what reason, I always told my VICTORIA, I will always protect U, as long as it's in my power, and I will DIE for YOU, and I mean it with all that is in me, she truly completed me, I always told her, Victoria ur a THOUSAND WOMEN
AND UR MY ANGEL,
She was so colorful and always thought of others before herself, I can't believe she is gone, all I want is her back, I don't want to get up, and I am tired of people sayn "work is good for GRIEF"
I'm sorry but what the piss do they know? When u loose that one, u truly loose everything, I could just truly tear a house down w/a sledge hammer, I could actually read her thoughts and feel her thinkn about me during the day and would text her and tell her this and she would say yes, I just was, I LOVED HER JUST SITTN BESIDE ME IN THE CAR, and I'm still talkn to her, I can't clean the house, do dishes and barely go to sleep.
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