Worked at same place with loved hate going to work


Worked at same place with loved hate going to work

My fiance and I met and worked together everyday. When we weren't at work we were spending time with our kids and families and more importantly together. He was the love of my life.  He had been to dr on Oct 21, 2017 when they suspected Lymphoma. The hospital took its goody ole time scheduling biopsy even after seeing large mass on groin.  He had been to hospital 2 times after that and still no rush. The day he was to get the results (Dec 5th, 2017), he went to his Dr and was immediately admitted to hospital (Stage IV Lymphoma). By that evening was being life-flighted to a bigger facility. They started chemo that week and after 2 rounds was starting to respond. They said he was doing well enough that after 3rd treatment (supposed to be 1-19-18) he would be transferred back to local facility. We were all ecstatic. Said we were just going to do a Vegas wedding because we didnt want to waste any more time. He died on the day he was supposed to get his 3rd treatment.  Now not only do I have to deal with the loss of the love of my life, the fact that all our dreams will never come true....but now I have to go to work everyday with the memories we created there as well. We would take our breaks together, work overtime together, etc. I struggle every day just showing up and merely just go thru the motions for 8 hours. I have no escape! Home reminds me of him, work reminds me of him and everywhere in between. Some at work have been supportive realizing how hard it must be, but some are just rude and expect me to get back to normal. We just passed the 6 week mark and I'm still miserable as the day he passed. 

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Latest Activity: Mar 7, 2018

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Profile IconLiana, Tamicah and Cj joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Tamicah joined Diana, Certified Grief Counselor's group

Grief Counseling

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Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Some days, I feel I can make it through this. Some days, I can fight the kick in the stomach I feel when I wake up and remember my mother is dead."
23 hours ago
Joe von Anjou commented on Joe von Anjou's blog post I lost my mother in April. It hurts worse now than then
"Spoke with my doctor. Social worker, than psychiatrist, then, possibly, psychotherapist, being arranged."
23 hours ago
Cj joined Kate's group

Homicide Survivors Group

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Alma P commented on Pavika's blog post more than 3 years...still lost
"Pavika,  Regrets... I have them too. I met a man in 2011. We were friends for years. I was in love with him. Yet, I never took the chance to further it. I thought I had all kind of time. I thought I was being patient. Then... He committed…"
Alma P posted a status
"I know what I believe happens after death. Still I can't help but feel the loss of life from this plane of existence of those I love so much"

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