In 1969 I lost my oldest and only brother to a drunk driver in Venezuela.  And on september 27,1995 I lost my mom to liver cancer. This pass feb.22,2010 my father passed away to an illness that I cannot spell.  So everyone is gone now, I have no brothers and sisters no kids. And never have been married. So this is a Punch in the face and a blow. Yeah!!! I have a stepmom we are very close and I have very close   friends and relatives but for the time being. That is not enough to feel the emptiness inside. And last month I was with my step grandmother as she passed away.  I guess then is when I did learn the lord blessed me with a special gift.  And I just need to use and tap into  that as much as I can.  This I will love to share for all.  At times before my dad passed away I could her my mom calling me and my dad.  And before my dad passed away I could hear her and I could  almost feel myself touching her.  She was telling me at that time my dad would be leaving me soon. And sure thing he passed away a few days later. 

And just a few days before my step-grandmother passed. I could feel and hear Jesus telling me to ask my step grandmother if she has heard him speak to her. I did and she told me what he said. And that was he was ready for her to come home. The night when she passed away, I knew the time was near. And I told my stepmom and Hospice to leave the room. Again I asked do you see my friend Jesus? She said yes, I told her go to him, he is my best friend you know. Also I told her tell all to watch after us and she said OK.  So about 20 min or less she passed away.

And so anyway for this time being I get stronger by supporting and giving comments to others. It's much easyier for me. But hey my friend Jesus wants me to do that. And he wants me to share his Home is very near by.  OH yes and close!!! We have a great loving god.  We are his children, and he sure knows how to get our attention.  He has done that with me so well over so many issues.  And for great reason's.  SO that is a little of my story to share.  Oh yes I am praying hard for 2 people one lost her grandfather the other lost her husband. I am praying that the lord will open that sweet door. Just maybe I can hear them speak to me, or Jesus speak for them.   This may sound strange and off the wall for many. That is OK  I do understand.  

Views: 46

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

I too have lost my entire immediate family, have no relationship or children. My world fell apart This April 2010 so I can relate to that feeling of utter lonliness and emptiness. I have moved, on my own, to Egypt to try and sort my head and heart out - I have been hear for one month, and the feelings are just getting worse and worse and worse till now i can't even get out of bed.
I need some hope that this will pass and I will 'feel' anything again. I feel like an empty well .

My thoughts go out to you.

RSS

Latest Activity

Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Mary,I am in the middle of a war between my youngest daughter and my oldest daughter.They can't stay in the same room together.That is making the grieveing process even harder.Some one to talk to keeps me from exploding.I wish it was…"
4 hours ago
Linda Engberg replied to Deborah Bailey's discussion Can any one help in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Deborah, I lost my wonderful husband to colon cancer 3 years ago. I still miss him terribly but the grief is not as bad. My brokenheart will never mend. I still a shrink to help me get through life without him. The house was so empty without…"
6 hours ago
Robin commented on Stephanie Dennocenzo's blog post Remembering hurts
"I know how you feel up until one week ago all I had was pictures I keep saying if we only had the voice well we do my daughter found a voice message on an old phone it brought tears to my eyes and it really didn't make me happy because the only…"
13 hours ago
Robin commented on CindyA's blog post Where is my peace
"I could not imagine lossing so many people I lost my soulmate and I feel like my life is over, I think we all are looking for peace. To be able to not feel so empty,lost and alone I hope that peace finds you"
13 hours ago
Robin commented on Denise's blog post Today is not a good one
"I know how you feel and understand my Kevin has been gone for six weeks today and everyday seems harder not easier. I have just learned to live with the fog my husband was cremated I have a necklace with his ashes around my neck, we did have a…"
13 hours ago
Mary commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Denise. We are here for you. I too don't like the word widow. I still feel like a wife but who has lost her husband. Was curious about how you feel about going to see a councillor- do you feel it helps a little. It's been 9 weeks since…"
13 hours ago
Denise Lavoie commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Today has been very hard.I went to my second counciling session  .I have not thought of myself in so long I don't know who I am. I am a widow now which I don't like.I am a mother, a grandmother, and a great-grandmother titles that…"
14 hours ago
Mary commented on Mary's blog post Heartbroken
"Hi Val. I live in Canada in British Columbia. It is so hard missing our husbands. It is hard to explain how we feel but you and others (Robin) share it's exactly how you feel. Yes I believe too Robin, that children's grief is different.…"
14 hours ago
Matthew Davenport replied to Matthew Davenport's discussion Lost My Beloved Wife On June 11th
"I am grateful to know there are others, but also saddened that so many have passed through these same awful gates into the world of grief. I send my sympathies as well. "
17 hours ago
Matthew Davenport replied to Matthew Davenport's discussion Lost My Beloved Wife On June 11th
"I thank you for the sympathy and thoughts. We are trying desperately to pick up the pieces she left behind and rebuild our family."
17 hours ago
Robin posted a blog post

Don't want this any more

I don't want this pain anymore, I feel like I can't breath without him yet I do, I don't want to face another yet I drag myself out of bed,I don't want anymore memories because he won't be apart of them anymore. I feel so empty I have tried more tears than I thought possible, I did not deserve him yet I was blessed to have him for 26 years he was my world and now he's gone I feel like nothing matters I don't want this anymore.
17 hours ago
Robin replied to Matthew Davenport's discussion Lost My Beloved Wife On June 11th
"Let me tell you I feel and understand your pain it has been six weeks today I lost my husband of 26 years and it hurts beyond words I don't know how to even tell you how to cope for me it is day by day I just want you to know your pain is felt"
17 hours ago
Robin commented on Mary's blog post Heartbroken
"I know exactly how you feel today is my six week mark and it hurts more now because the loneliness has set in I miss my Kevin so much it hurts so much, we have seven children but their grief is different my life stopped the day he passed.I feel your…"
18 hours ago
Alin Tooby commented on Denise's blog post Neutral
"Hello Denise,   I hope this message finds you well. I am very sorry for the loss of your dear husband. I pray you may find comfort and peace. I found your post to be a bit ironic as I just went and picked up my mothers death certificate three…"
19 hours ago
val commented on Mary's blog post Heartbroken
"Hi mary . i spent the afternoon moving furniture around lounge ,god knows why as i then put it all back, i suppose in my mind i thought if i dont have to look at his chair every time i come in the room it would be easier , but in fact it had the…"
yesterday
Mary commented on Mary's blog post Heartbroken
"Val. I'm sorry for your pain. I know your pain. I also feel it every day. No one understands it unless they have been there. And you are right, our children have different relationship with him. My kids are 25, 21 and 16. I try to be strong for…"
yesterday
val commented on Mary's blog post Heartbroken
"one week so far since my hubby passed and oh god it hurts , pain like no other ,feels so heavy ,i cry so much ,dose this ever end , everything is a reminder , even going to shop for a paper , I dont even read it , just feel i ought to have it , no…"
yesterday
val replied to Jennifer's discussion Buried with silence
"hi , yes I know , it consumes our every thought , my husband  passed last weekend , and its so empty now , its so painful, everything in our home we chose together ,24 years yesterday married , best friend,, and its all so many reminders ,…"
yesterday
val replied to Deborah Bailey's discussion Can any one help in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi deborah , I to feel the same, mine passed last week, and every day is so hard and raw, i have to go back to work soon and im a retirement schem manager and i live on site , so its in my face every day, they just keep on , every time i go out…"
yesterday
Jennifer shared their group on Facebook
yesterday

© 2016   Created by Diana Y.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service