Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
The sadness just keeps getting worse. My son, Jamey, was an organ donor. I know that 3 men in their 50s received his gifts. To be absolutely honest, I was not happy to find out that they were in their 50s because I thought he would have wanted to give a younger person a chance for longer life. But, 2 of the men who were recipeints wrote me letters. I am in my fifties and hope like we all do that we are going to be around until we are in our 100s. After the letters, I'm pretty sure Jamey would be happy with these people. They have the opportunity to reach out and touch the lives of so many others. And I don't mean that a younger recipient would not do the same. What I am saying is that these wonderful men have families and jobs that allow them more opportunities to share their stories. To me, a young person would just be starting out with their own lives. They don't necessarily have the same life experience an older person does. The Illnesses that put these men on the threshold of death have been with them for such a long time. One of them longer than 3/4 of their lives. That says that they have been sick longer than the younger person. Now I know that the age isn't what matters. What counts is the quality they will finally get to enjoy. One day I hope I get to sit down and write to them. But, at this point I can't seem to make myself do it. It's different to me than sitting here talking about it to fellow bereaved parents. We all share the exact same thing. Our children, our hearts. To think about saying anything to these men sends me running to my bed to cry, again, for another day to day and a half, again. I can't give in to that. Not now. Right now, I'm putting together a Facebook-a-thon to raise the money for Jameys headstone. The goal is 1600.00 in 3 days. This is before his birthday on the 24 Sept. Then I have to get through the one year anniversary of his passing 20 November. Next comes Christmas for his 3 kids. So Jamey himself is keeping me going because I can't not do these things for him. But writing letters to people who are walking around this world with my Baby Boys heart, liver and kidneys is on my "Some day list". I am so wishy washy because now I think what would happen if I left to see him again and did not write the letters.
But I digress. The sadness. A young woman with 2 children was born with a lung disease. She was on the transplant list. But since there aren't enough donors, she passed last week. She was just a couple of years older than Jamey. If anyone here is the parent of a donor, please tell me how to share with her mother. Her child is gone because there was no one to save her. I hope that makes sense. The only thing she and I share is that our kids are no longer physically with us. What do I say to her? There is an unfairness to all of it!