Let's just ask ourselves. If John the Dragon is not grieving and is happy with the way his life has turned out then why is he on a site called "online grief support".

The word grief has definitions and does not seem to be a problem for John the Dragon. Lucky him and those who aren't grieving.  But the so called "support from someone who is not experiencing grief is awkward and uncomfortable for those of us who are experiencing grief as a normal state.  For those whose love was too deep.  If I needed counsel I would get it from someone much more qualified than someone called John the Dragon on the internet.  I'm here on this site because I am surrounded by people for whom grief is normal.  I really look to them for my support.  

There's nothing wrong with me. Yet someone called John the Dragon has twisted my grief into some kind of aberrant behavior that he is rescuing me from.  Do I need need his rescue?  No.   MY choice is to revere the sanctity of what I had and it differs from his. It is not up for discussion by someone who thinks he is "helping" me by questioning my grief.  This site is not called "online happy days support"  I don't need or want help that purposefully diminishes how I feel. This is a site to share how to handle grief, i.e. heartache, despair, suffering.   Or at least I thought it was.  Does he really think this is some joyous celebration of freedom from being chained down and now I should sprout wings and fly?  Its not.  Everything I feel is normal because I loved so deeply and I don't expect someone to understand what that means if in their perspective they have "moved on" and expect others to do the same because they "think" somehow I dishonor or disrespect my husband.  How dare someone be so audacious?

We all know Diana removed John the Dragon and yet here he is.  I'm actually somewhat surprised.  How did he get through?   His presence will be, once again for those of us who are normal in our grief experience, a rejection that he might use as a billy club.  I do not seek his counsel. For those who do, and for him, I suggest there are other sites where grief is not discussed in the context of what it means and moving on is the viewpoint. EHarmony or Match.com.might be more receptive to his new normal and a better fit. I am pretty sure most of those people have moved on and are ready to be the best they can be.  Here, I believe, we are sharing a much different but normal aspect of love.  

Personally I held out hope that he wouldn't try once more to push himself on the site and ruin the peace I had for the few days he was gone. The notion that he circumvented Diana's removal speaks volumes about his character. Theres a descriptive term for it used in psychology.  My "hope" lies in that he goes away voluntarily but I'm pretty sure that this manifestation of a recurrent nightmare has dug in. Not sure Diana can help.

Views: 151

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by joanne on January 18, 2017 at 11:42pm

Agree, with you completely morgan, some of the things he wrote about me where disgusting,  but I refused to dignify him with an answer or reply, and then he was deleted but unfortunately he come back, why? well you don't have to be Einstein to know he's on here to antagonise and cause arguments for his own weird pleasure, All we can hope is that Diana deletes this man(and i use the term man loosely) for good, whilst he remains, this site, that is a life line for me as become unsafe again.

Latest Activity

Rachel Slesinski joined Diana, Grief Recovery Coach's group
Thumbnail

Grief Counseling

Diana Young, LD/N, GC-C, ORDMDiana is a Certified Grief Counselor with The American Institute of Health Care Professionals, Inc since 2015. She is also a licensed Dietitian/Nutritionist for 30 years specializing in weight management, diabetes care, the mind diet and healthy eating. Diana created the popular website OnlineGriefSupport.com in 2008 with over 15,000 members.  Currently She facilitates a virtual grief support group weekly. Previously Diana worked for Cornerstone Hospice, providing…See More
5 hours ago
Profile IconAdele and Melissa Gutierrez joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 16
Lisa Jonasson Meyer commented on Dayna's group Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide
"Hi there. I lost my baby brother to fentanyl (which was laced with myriad of other drugs) on September 28 2023. He'd struggled with opioid addiction since being given a prescription for an opioid in his teens after shattering his nose. Our…"
Jul 12
Lisa Jonasson Meyer joined Dayna's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
Jul 12
Profile IconHeath, Joe, Khrissie and 10 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 11
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"As a card and a medium I should not be mad at God but I am very mad at god the way things have been going on in my life where my sister suffered of cancer and died of cancer by the God do this to a person it was a good person yes whatever arguments…"
Jun 5
dream moon JO B joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Jun 4
dream moon JO B joined Hope Lowe's group
Jun 4

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service