Let's just ask ourselves. If John the Dragon is not grieving and is happy with the way his life has turned out then why is he on a site called "online grief support".

The word grief has definitions and does not seem to be a problem for John the Dragon. Lucky him and those who aren't grieving.  But the so called "support from someone who is not experiencing grief is awkward and uncomfortable for those of us who are experiencing grief as a normal state.  For those whose love was too deep.  If I needed counsel I would get it from someone much more qualified than someone called John the Dragon on the internet.  I'm here on this site because I am surrounded by people for whom grief is normal.  I really look to them for my support.  

There's nothing wrong with me. Yet someone called John the Dragon has twisted my grief into some kind of aberrant behavior that he is rescuing me from.  Do I need need his rescue?  No.   MY choice is to revere the sanctity of what I had and it differs from his. It is not up for discussion by someone who thinks he is "helping" me by questioning my grief.  This site is not called "online happy days support"  I don't need or want help that purposefully diminishes how I feel. This is a site to share how to handle grief, i.e. heartache, despair, suffering.   Or at least I thought it was.  Does he really think this is some joyous celebration of freedom from being chained down and now I should sprout wings and fly?  Its not.  Everything I feel is normal because I loved so deeply and I don't expect someone to understand what that means if in their perspective they have "moved on" and expect others to do the same because they "think" somehow I dishonor or disrespect my husband.  How dare someone be so audacious?

We all know Diana removed John the Dragon and yet here he is.  I'm actually somewhat surprised.  How did he get through?   His presence will be, once again for those of us who are normal in our grief experience, a rejection that he might use as a billy club.  I do not seek his counsel. For those who do, and for him, I suggest there are other sites where grief is not discussed in the context of what it means and moving on is the viewpoint. EHarmony or Match.com.might be more receptive to his new normal and a better fit. I am pretty sure most of those people have moved on and are ready to be the best they can be.  Here, I believe, we are sharing a much different but normal aspect of love.  

Personally I held out hope that he wouldn't try once more to push himself on the site and ruin the peace I had for the few days he was gone. The notion that he circumvented Diana's removal speaks volumes about his character. Theres a descriptive term for it used in psychology.  My "hope" lies in that he goes away voluntarily but I'm pretty sure that this manifestation of a recurrent nightmare has dug in. Not sure Diana can help.

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Comment by joanne on January 18, 2017 at 11:42pm

Agree, with you completely morgan, some of the things he wrote about me where disgusting,  but I refused to dignify him with an answer or reply, and then he was deleted but unfortunately he come back, why? well you don't have to be Einstein to know he's on here to antagonise and cause arguments for his own weird pleasure, All we can hope is that Diana deletes this man(and i use the term man loosely) for good, whilst he remains, this site, that is a life line for me as become unsafe again.


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