Let's just ask ourselves. If John the Dragon is not grieving and is happy with the way his life has turned out then why is he on a site called "online grief support".

The word grief has definitions and does not seem to be a problem for John the Dragon. Lucky him and those who aren't grieving.  But the so called "support from someone who is not experiencing grief is awkward and uncomfortable for those of us who are experiencing grief as a normal state.  For those whose love was too deep.  If I needed counsel I would get it from someone much more qualified than someone called John the Dragon on the internet.  I'm here on this site because I am surrounded by people for whom grief is normal.  I really look to them for my support.  

There's nothing wrong with me. Yet someone called John the Dragon has twisted my grief into some kind of aberrant behavior that he is rescuing me from.  Do I need need his rescue?  No.   MY choice is to revere the sanctity of what I had and it differs from his. It is not up for discussion by someone who thinks he is "helping" me by questioning my grief.  This site is not called "online happy days support"  I don't need or want help that purposefully diminishes how I feel. This is a site to share how to handle grief, i.e. heartache, despair, suffering.   Or at least I thought it was.  Does he really think this is some joyous celebration of freedom from being chained down and now I should sprout wings and fly?  Its not.  Everything I feel is normal because I loved so deeply and I don't expect someone to understand what that means if in their perspective they have "moved on" and expect others to do the same because they "think" somehow I dishonor or disrespect my husband.  How dare someone be so audacious?

We all know Diana removed John the Dragon and yet here he is.  I'm actually somewhat surprised.  How did he get through?   His presence will be, once again for those of us who are normal in our grief experience, a rejection that he might use as a billy club.  I do not seek his counsel. For those who do, and for him, I suggest there are other sites where grief is not discussed in the context of what it means and moving on is the viewpoint. EHarmony or Match.com.might be more receptive to his new normal and a better fit. I am pretty sure most of those people have moved on and are ready to be the best they can be.  Here, I believe, we are sharing a much different but normal aspect of love.  

Personally I held out hope that he wouldn't try once more to push himself on the site and ruin the peace I had for the few days he was gone. The notion that he circumvented Diana's removal speaks volumes about his character. Theres a descriptive term for it used in psychology.  My "hope" lies in that he goes away voluntarily but I'm pretty sure that this manifestation of a recurrent nightmare has dug in. Not sure Diana can help.

Views: 100

Comment

You need to be a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community to add comments!

Join Online Grief Support - A Social Community

Comment by joanne on January 18, 2017 at 11:42pm

Agree, with you completely morgan, some of the things he wrote about me where disgusting,  but I refused to dignify him with an answer or reply, and then he was deleted but unfortunately he come back, why? well you don't have to be Einstein to know he's on here to antagonise and cause arguments for his own weird pleasure, All we can hope is that Diana deletes this man(and i use the term man loosely) for good, whilst he remains, this site, that is a life line for me as become unsafe again.

Groups

Latest Activity

joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I still can't see pics and nothing back from ninja yet."
17 hours ago
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Our last trip together, cruise to the Bahamas. What a great memory."
18 hours ago
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"sinse goin  to spookss spirtt churchhss it seams to  get me comfott it dz i dt frs fewa; feal alonee i do not not iv sean  peplee in tears ti i do bt so omftin ido not get told how i…"
yesterday
Addie commented on Cathy Richardson's group Being the Other Woman/Other Man
"I had a relationship with someone for 5 years. I am married, and wasn't ready to leave my husband. So this man and I met infrequently (every month or 2) and talked a lot through text, but I felt like we had a very close bond. He finally told me…"
Thursday
Addie joined Cathy Richardson's group
Thumbnail

Being the Other Woman/Other Man

This is for anyone who has lost their lover to death and you were the other woman/other man in their life. We have to grieve in silence. I can't find any support groups and feel like I'm the only one going through this situationSee More
Thursday
Profile IconAddie and Donald Perry joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Thursday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"How do you guys have your settings?  I didn't have a problem before a couple of days ago."
Wednesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I can't see the pics still but glad you guys can.  I sent a message to ninja  to check if I have a setting wrong.  I have pics to be seen by friends set.  I have 750 pics of Her (from about aged two till days before She left…"
Wednesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife, the love of your life, is BEAUTIFUL! And it does seem like it was destiny that brought the two of you together. Beautiful story of the two of you meeting for the first time. Like Linda says, we have to be grateful that God sent us…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Joe, Your wife is beautiful. We just have to so blessed for God sending us our soulmates."
Wednesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"She was sent to save me.  There was a fate of that.  Too many coincidences to be otherwise.  I was born to a terrible family relationship in one State and She was born to a good stable family relationship.  We both moved to a…"
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Everyone,  Thanks for the cudos. I know every one of us is trying to cope with the loss of our Beloved Spouses. I too cannot do the things we shared and that's just about everything. Our likes were the same, so the only thing I did…"
Wednesday
Profile IconMary and Leane joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
morgan commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I am so grateful that each of you share what you are doing and how you are dealing with your loss at whatever stage in months or years.  In the past I never had to worry about looking for company for misery.  I wasn't miserable.…"
Wednesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Trina, Thanks for your encouraging words."
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, What you say here about your day sounds like my miserable daily schedule: "My schedule is pretty much go to the bedroom between 1 to 4am and most often I sleep until 11 or noon.  And if I have to get up quickly I find I end up…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Marita,  I can relate to what you are saying: the activities that Joseph and I loved to do together are now very painful to do on my own. But it seems that you have started taking baby steps in the right direction by starting to run again.…"
Tuesday
Trina Mamoon commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, This is awesome! How inspiring that you run marathons to honor your beloved husband and soulmate Julian at age 65! "
Tuesday
Marita commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda, That is quite an accomplishment! My husband was my running partner and we did a lot of charity runs together. My last run was 2 months after he died and dedicated the run to him. Since then I have tried running alone but it was too…"
Tuesday
joe kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"WOW, that's great! "
Tuesday

© 2019   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service