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July 31, 2011 my little sister died..she was 17, going to graduate this year and join the airforce. She was my best friend the one person i talked to every day..she was my oldest sons godmother..The week of july 25 she went with her boyfriend and his family to north carolina, we live in florida and it was sumthin she was looking forward too..When the police came to the house they said that she had slipped on a rock in the river and hit her head and for some reason her boyfriends family couldnt get her and she drowned...it was such a shock to me that she died that i had dropped my 3 mnth old son and passed out..The next day i recieved an email from my cousin and it was the story from the county she died in and thats when we found out how she really died and it said she was crossing a popular swimming hole were there is a waterfall and she slipped and fell off the waterfall 15ft and got stuck between two rocks and was held down but the rapids of the waterfall..and after i read that i couldnt breathe or anything i rember being on the floor on my knees and my parents comming asking what and i pointed to the computer..

After that day i havent been the same i miss her so much i feel empty..i have two boys and i fake smile for them and act happy for them..but im not..i cant move on i feel the same as i do as the day i found out. i cant sleep more then and hour or two now..i work all the time just to keep busy my eyes have even started twitching from lack of sleep but everytime i sleep i think of her...i cry constantly sumthing reminds me of her...and i dont even talk to people who i have been friend w for 17-18 years with..i just dont know what to do ne more...and jan 10 im supposed to go to a candle light memorial for her birthday but im already not funtioning well and i dnt know if i should or not..

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Kristan Fury on December 25, 2011 at 5:04pm

My sister was with me this time last year, she had a week and half left before she died...we had found out 3 weeks earlier that she had lung cancer.. she is my identical twin and I just don't know how to go on either.  The only thing I can tell you is that she would be disappointed if you do not keep on living your life and trying to be happy.  It is what they would want us to do...go, you will be happy you did.

Permalink Reply by kylie anne on December 25, 2011 at 7:13pm

hi cassanra, everything u have wrote i feel my sister passed away 22nd september 2011.. i write she passed away but i hate saying that & thinking she is dead. i hate myself for it all as i wish with all my heart it was not true.. she was my younger sister too..i do almost everything as i used to but inside i want to scream & give up & just dont care about anything.. u do what you want & deal with what you want this is your time to love your sister & get to a place were you can keep living thats what i am telling myself.. people tell you it gets better but i dont see how she was here now she is gone i will never see her again or hear her or give her a hug how can that feeling go away..i cry all the time still, the pain i feel & the saddness in my heart is unbearable..seeing my parents is even worst but then you look around & the world is still busy & you tell yourself keep going..no one can tell you what to do you love your sister & never forget her & then just keep loving her she was 1 of a kind & she was yours no one can take that from you..

Permalink Reply by nadia on January 7, 2012 at 10:59am

your words speak to my heart - coming up to 8 months with my wonderful sister and seems to be getting harder....cant seem to find happiness anywhere... I have twins boys and seeing them growing up and forgetting about their auntie who absolutely adored them,,, she doted on them just kills me... I am crippled with pain and sadness... feel so sad they will never remember what a super special person she was and what she means into my life...

I am lost without her .. she was my soulmate.... I lost my soul,,, unfortunately not even my partner of boys can fill the gap...xmas was awful this year is even worse... cant seem to getting any better at all...

If I was single I would happily die ... I just miss her so much... no one can feel my pain.... I am empty too I cannot enjoy anything anymore...sorry I cant be of more help... I am lost

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