My grief

It seems like this group is inactive given the last posts were about 4 years ago.  I lost someone almost 2 years ago and I still feel the hurt as if it was the first day.  Because of the nature of our relationship absolutely no one knows I'm grieving and I am completely alone.  Over the course of the last couple years without him I've quit all my volunteer jobs, hobbies and pushed away everyone in my life.  I have never been more alone and I just struggle with finding reasons to keep going every day.  I have done little to no processing of my grief because I can't and by nature I just don't anyway.

Every day is pain and hurt and I just see very little reason for anything anymore.  I miss him so much all the time.  He's all I think about all day.  Him and what a pathetic sack of shit I am for missing him so much after all this time.  I hate myself for how much I hurt and I hate him for leaving and I hate the world for existing.  I just hate everything.

Views: 223

Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Liv on October 11, 2020 at 11:58am

Hi Alice.

I am so sorry for all that you are going through. I completely understand hating everyone, and everything, after a loss. I lost my favorite person in the world two weeks ago, today. That's why I am here. Grieving is a difficult thing to do. Just try to cope any way you know how.

I am not saying that I know exactly what you are going through, but I am here if you ever need to talk.

Permalink Reply by Alice Smith on October 12, 2020 at 10:10am

Thank you.  I know all grief is valid but I just feel like mine is not and I deserve it.  

Permalink Reply by Tina on January 15, 2021 at 4:09pm

Hi.  I recently read your post and I feel like you and I may have a lot in common.  I lost the man I loved on the first of the year.  We also had an extremely complicated relationship that no one really knew about and it is so hard.  I miss him so much.  I know talking about it can help and if we can be there for each other I would like to be.  I think we may understand each other's positions really well.

Permalink Reply by Alice Smith on February 17, 2021 at 12:24pm

Thank you.  I feel like I can never move past this because I can't grieve openly.  Everyone around me is frustrated because they don't understand why I'm so depressed and I can't tell them so I've pulled away from everyone in my life.  I just want the earth to swallow me up so i don't have to be here anymore

Permalink Reply by Tina on February 17, 2021 at 6:31pm

You're welcome.  I have sent you a friend invite in case you wanted to message each other privately.  I am finding some days are a little easier but then I turn around and without any reason find myself crying and missing my love.  I hope that we can connect and support each other and grieve with each other during this difficult time in our lives.

Permalink Reply by Tina Cabrera on February 22, 2021 at 1:19pm

I feel this group is not up dated but if you want to talk I can use some one too 

Permalink Reply by Alice Smith on March 3, 2021 at 5:17pm

Hi, I'm sorry I kinda stopped checking back here.  How are you?  I'm sorry you're stuggling.  Last week for me was kinda of ok.  This week, not as much.

Permalink Reply by dream moon JO B on June 9, 2021 at 2:58pm

sorry on loss peppl go go on hear

RSS

Groups

Latest Activity

Rachel Slesinski updated their profile
yesterday
Rachel Slesinski joined Diana, Grief Recovery Coach's group
Thumbnail

Grief Counseling

Diana Young, LD/N, GC-C, ORDMDiana is a Certified Grief Counselor with The American Institute of Health Care Professionals, Inc since 2015. She is also a licensed Dietitian/Nutritionist for 30 years specializing in weight management, diabetes care, the mind diet and healthy eating. Diana created the popular website OnlineGriefSupport.com in 2008 with over 15,000 members.  Currently She facilitates a virtual grief support group weekly. Previously Diana worked for Cornerstone Hospice, providing…See More
Monday
124 Comments
Profile IconAdele and Melissa Gutierrez joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 16
Lisa Jonasson Meyer commented on Dayna's group Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide
"Hi there. I lost my baby brother to fentanyl (which was laced with myriad of other drugs) on September 28 2023. He'd struggled with opioid addiction since being given a prescription for an opioid in his teens after shattering his nose. Our…"
Jul 12
Lisa Jonasson Meyer joined Dayna's group
Thumbnail

Loss of a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide

If you have lost a loved one to alcohol, substance abuse or suicide please share your story or feelings here. Share the love and beauty of the one you lost. Losing someone any of these ways is not natural and can be hard to understand and ask why? I lost my Mother to an overdose 9 years ago. She also suffered from major depression. Her doctor got her hooked on pain medication and she was addicted most of my life. These doctors who were suppose to help her ended up killing her in the end. I also…See More
Jul 12
1 Comment
Profile IconHeath, Joe, Khrissie and 10 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Jul 11
dream moon JO B replied to dream moon JO B's discussion mad at god
"As a card and a medium I should not be mad at God but I am very mad at god the way things have been going on in my life where my sister suffered of cancer and died of cancer by the God do this to a person it was a good person yes whatever arguments…"
Jun 5
dream moon JO B joined HollowHeart's group
Thumbnail

Sibling Loss

This group is for anyone that has lost a brother or sister. Sibling loss is often minimized and people don't realize how devastating losing a sibling can be. I lost my older sister and my life will never be the same. She was my only sibling, I looked up to her, I went to her for everything. I lost my past, present and future. It is traumatic.See More
Jun 4
2 Comments

© 2024   Created by Ninja.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service