How do people find something positive every day after the loss of their spouse?

I just learned about this on-line support group and decided to join.  I am just trying to find some good things in this new world without the love of my life.  We were together for over 33 years and the sadness and grief is overpowering.  I want and need to help my 21 year old daughter too, but man it is hard.  I feel like I went from a perfect life to a life that will always suck...

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Jim, I am also new to this group and to this experience. I lost my husband of 20 years a little over a month ago. I too worry about how to be there four our 19 yr old daughter. As far as how to find something positive each day, that is challenging. I force myself to name at least one positive thing at the end of each day. And it doesn't have to be a big thing. It can be as simple as I got out of bed or I made it through the day at work. Sometimes it's that I received a text or call from a friend. For me forcing myself to acknowledge one positive thing when basically everything sucks sort of helps.

thank you!  Keep doing that...I do my positive notes in the am, which is when I feel the best right now

I have never after 3 years found any answers yet. I am so lonely and lost I barely get through each day. I TRY nd keep things together for my son. My life just feels over. I find enjoyment in

Nothing. I understand how you feel Jim. Life

Does suck!!! Much luck to you!!

Life without her does suck.  I really try to see the good things in the world and hang on to those-like my daughter and I cooking together, going out and getting a coffee with her, etc.  I am sorry for your loss Beth-just try to take it one small step at a time.  No words can comfort us, but maybe today something really good will happen-we can only hope.  JH

I am so sorry for your loss, Joe.  I think your idea about my daughter joining is really good and I appreciate that.  Like you, I choose to believe we will be reunited one day and I find some solace in that.  I don't know what that's like but I do know she'll never be here again with me.  Every day is a struggle and I pray that each day has something good in it, something that she would want me to enjoy.  You take care and spoil those kids and grand kids!

I am very sorry for your loss Jim

I gain strength from the hope we have for the future. I believe that we WILL be reunited with our loved ones.

The Bible gives us this promise:

 John 5:25 — “Most truly I say to you, the hour is coming, and it is now, when the dead will hear the voice of the Son of God, and those who have paid attention will live.

We even have recorded events in the Bible when loved ones were reunited by a resurrection. One of them is here:

Mark 5:41,42 — Then, taking the hand of the child, he said to her: “Talʹi·tha cuʹmi,” which, when translated, means: “Little girl, I say to you, get up!” 42 And immediately the girl rose and began walking. (She was 12 years old.) And at once they were beside themselves with great ecstasy.

This is Account is about a 12 year old girl who had died. When Jesus ressurected her the family was “beside themselves with great ecstasy.”

We will feel that way to...when we are reunited with our loved ones. 

I know now it doesn’t take your pain and loneliness away, but if it gives you HOPE,  then you may be able to cope a little better. 

I lost my wife yesterday, the only reason I'm still here is i promised my kids they wouldn't lose both of us the same day.
Hi Jarrod,

First of all, I am very sorry for the loss of your wife. Ironically I lost my only brother, my only sibling, the same day you lost your wife, 4/14/23. I am the sole survivor of my family of origin. Our father passed away in 2010 and our mother passed away in 2020 (non-covid related), I am grateful that my brother was able to help me grieve those losses, I am really struggling as to how I grieve his loss without him. I am “only” 52 and to think of the rest of my life without anyone left who remembers me as a baby, or the stories we shared with and without our parents, to not have one of the 3 left if I need to talk, need help, or guidance or just to share joy with anymore. Not many people truly understand where I am coming from, because most people my age still may have both parents, or 1 parent, all of their siblings or some of their siblings. There’s just some solace even as a 52 year old woman to know there was one person on the planet that knew my back-story and would always have my back no matter what, in a way only a parent or sibling can. Sometimes when I think about the gravity of this loss, the pain and loneliness take my breath away. Most of the information I can find on-line is geared to elderly people who have lost their last sibling. I haven’t been able to find much coping info on mid-lifers or younger who find themselves as the “last ‘man’ standing” of their family of origin, so to speak. I know we have different circumstances that brought us here to this group. I just wanted to reach out and say hello, since I am not finding a lot of recent posts on here in some of the groups I have looked at. Take care. Erin

I lost my soulmate of 20 years 4/19 of this year. I just keep thinking of everything and him over these years.

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