I had one week left of college, I was 17 and my boyfriend just turning 20 went to see his birth dad down in another town one Friday night. He didn't want to go that night, wanted to stay at his friends but i said he didn't see his real dad often so to go, he went and never saw him again. He was at a night club, went out for a cigarette even though he had stopped smoking and they found his body electrocuted in a power station 4 days later 12 miles away on the Thursday. They ruled it a misadventure, couldn't conclude how he came to his death. Im now 22 and guess i never really wanted to vent to anyone apart from after ive had the odd drink which isnt often. I think I cant get over the fact theres no ending to the story, its hard to write the ending to a story you dont have the truth about.

I still strugle with his death even now, even though I've moved on, not well albeit. I'm not comfortable with anyone i know, knowing im on here. I saw a quote from Lea Michele regarding death " at one point that there is an empowerment that comes with grief. At some point you find it. It's very hard, but you will find it" I guess im still trying to find that moment. 

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Comment by Tracey L on January 8, 2014 at 10:44pm

I can appreciate what you are saying.  I lost my mother in December due to unknown cause.  No autopsy was done, because she would not have wanted one.  I do not know if it was the flu, pneumonia or if she had other ailment that took her from us.  There is that part of me that just wants to know how and why.

Also regarding the statement made from Lea Michelle, I think I am hitting that empowerment stage already, but then it could just be a false sense of confidence.  I feel strong and confident in my actions and my life.  It is always possible something will happen and I will fall to the floor, but I hope it is a more controlled fall and not something that stops me completely in my tracks.

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