pankaj bhatia
  • Male
  • Lodi, NJ
  • United States
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  • Survivor17
  • Wendy (Boabie)
  • Dia -Ayesha
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  • dream moon JO B
  • Rachel Lynn Schuler

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About Me:
26 year old down to earth personality totally lost now in this world after my mother has passed away.
About my Loss:
My mother who is the most precious person to me in this planet has left me alone to live. Its just been so hard to live each second without her. I just want to go in her arms and sleep. She was my mother, my friend, my everything I still dont believe she's gone. I sometimes feel like she's here with me and other second I feel alone. This feeling I cannot understand and loosing it slowly.

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Comment Wall (5 comments)

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At 7:18pm on December 4, 2013, Survivor17 said…

Pankaj , My heart goes out to you for your loss. I too just lost my mother less than two weeks ago right before Thanksgiving on November23rd... 

You are not alone and are surrounded by support, no one will have the exact words to take away that deep pain .. only time and patience with yourself will help you through this process.  peace 

At 5:14pm on October 29, 2013, dream moon JO B said…

i luv yore tatt it lks so grt 

At 4:48pm on October 29, 2013, dream moon JO B said…

ill be honset my dad died lst yr it still feals lk yday ths pain is so bad me mum r still hurt now lk lst yr 

we hav had thes horbel coments 2 lk get over it its easy wish dnt hlp wn peple say ths 2 us i hpe o 1 ever says ths 2 u coz thy dnt relize thy mke us feal worse wn thy say it my dad wz frm a big family he had so mny cuzens thts why iv had so mush death aftr him sad thng is only tm i sea family is at funrells me mum saw anner death notice in  2 days paper 1 of my dads cuznes again has died iv not sean thm sinse i wz a kid so it will be anrer funrell 2 go 2 i never thrt 2013 wud be as bad as 2012 coz of death

dreams thng only tme i sea my dad is in dreams 2 u can join my dream grp if u wont 2 its thr for evry 1 it hlps me xpres my dreams ths dreams feal so real thy r in color or speakng or so on but thy allways feal real no 1 lks old thy dnt but happyy thy r 

jo

At 3:52pm on October 25, 2013, dream moon JO B said…

thnxs for frind req i will tel u my story i lost my dad3.3.2012.at.220amme mum got th at 230 am we got thr 10 mins lte we got telgram 2 tell us 2 get th state away we must of got it abot130am or140am im a bit fuzy abit th prt but death tm no i had a few lsses befr my dad died but me mum all we hav dun is lost a lot of peple on top frm family frinds nboz bean 2 so mny funrells ths yr i dred 2 thnk abot 2014 coz of all death we havng

At 3:04pm on October 22, 2013, Dia -Ayesha said…
Hi Pankaj. My condolences to you for your loss. Losing a mother is the most tragic, painful loss ever. I lost my beloved ma this july 22, 2013. As far as I'm concerned the world has come to an end. This is a wonderful site with some lovely people bound together by our loss, pain and grief. Please take care .
 
 
 

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Latest Activity

bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you. I hope with everything in my soul that you are right about that, and I wish I shared your faith in that regard. If you and I have already discussed this, I apologise for repeating myself (my memory is not what it once was, and my…"
13 hours ago
bluebird left a comment for Martee
"I saw both of your posts on my profile. If nothing else, maybe rock-climbing and the like will help to distract you for a little while. And you're right, it is absolutely not fair that our beloved partners have died. I know that my husband and…"
13 hours ago
M Adams replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Hope these rituals bring comfort to you, Martee.  I have kept the ashes of my husband as well, just don’t want to part with them.  It has been more than three years since his death — but I don’t feel like there is a…"
14 hours ago
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Reading your posts, and many who post here, I think you're going to be joyously surprised when you pass over. "The worst thing about all of this is not knowing if my sweet, wonderful husband's soul still exists, as it…"
14 hours ago
Martee left a comment for Marjorie Willcox
"So sorry for your loss and pain, my soulmate died 1/29/20, been so bad for me to. I don’t let people know too much, no way I want to be taken out of my house. I feel like some people just want to watch me crash and are more nosey than…"
16 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, Thank you for your posts. Even though you don't have absolute proof of an afterlife, your out-of-body experience seems to have provided you with some level of surety, which I think is wonderful, and I must admit I'm jealous of you for…"
16 hours ago
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, It doesn't make it easier so to speak.  What will help is when I allow my doctor to do some imaging, in the weeks or perhaps a couple of months ahead, I'll let him scan me, and since now I know something is spreading…"
17 hours ago
Josephine Crawford commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Thanks Ammy. I sometimes feel guilty when I am happy. Yes it takes time. Continued to all."
17 hours ago
Martee replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I kept my husband’s ashes, I keep them next to me all day, move them to his nightstand at night. Been 3 weeks..."
18 hours ago
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Bluebird, Time to go to cemetery but will reply later today."
23 hours ago
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Joe, I wish I had your faith/assurance that there is an afterlife in which we will be reunited with our loves. I so hope that you are right about that. I think it would make this a tiny bit easier for me if I knew beyond any doubt that my husband…"
yesterday
Joe Kelly replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"I read and log on and many times I just freeze up.  It's over two years and I should be with her already and though I don't think it will be too much longer, every minute of every waking and sometimes sleeping moment is a…"
yesterday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Morgan, Thank you; I sometimes hesitate to speak (type) the truth of how this is for me, as the last thing I want to do is make it worse for anyone else. At the same time, I know that it helped me to find others online whose truth was similar to…"
yesterday
Jeff C replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Sorry to see your stories here...  There is nothing worse.   I will be at 4 years in June.  After a while at least for me, the acute pain just became dull pain.  I have heard that grief is love turned inside out.  No…"
yesterday
morgan replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Thank you bluebird for always encapsulating the horror movie we live in in a way that is gentle but firm.  I can only nod my head in agreement with each of the points you made because I am so exhausted by trying to explain this widowing to…"
yesterday
bluebird and Martee are now friends
Tuesday
bluebird replied to bluebird's discussion My husband died, and I will never want to live without him.
"Martee, I am so sorry you are also in this hell. I really have no hopeful words to offer; for me, any meaningful life ended when my husband died. I didn't survive, my body just hasn't died yet. There is no joy in life anymore, for me. That…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Re doing things we did together I was thinking more of making piecrust with my mom, or the right way to chop vegetables, or starting plants from cuttings, not anything like vacation travel.  When my husband died several people, including…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda, I think that people look too hard to find some thing very big. That something that makes you happy could just be a doughnut. When you are taking baby steps it's just a matter of getting from the chair to the couch. That's what I…"
Tuesday
Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Hello mommas  Nice to have your words and well wishes here. We all know this journey all too well. There are days u dread as well, and on those days we all have, we just need to be very gentle with ourselves. That's something I'm…"
Monday

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