On March 12 my last living hero passed away from lung cancer. He is the greatest man ive ever known. He loved us all unconditionally no matter our mistakes. He was always honest and to the point and no matter how mad/disappointed he was in us in the end the answer was always I love you and Its going to be ok. But I don't feel that it is......

A week after we buried my dad my wife died from pneumonia. She had started having allergy issues while we were there which turned into bronchitis which then turned to pneumonia. She was my ever shining light in the darkness. No matter how bad it got, No matter how much my PTSD caused myself and our family pain she could always chase away the darkness which stays in my mind. I am lost without her and have no idea what im doing. My step children don't speak to me now, My family lives half way across the country, and its everything I can do to not end it all. The only thing that has kept me from putting myself down is the thought that I wont be able to see them again and the fact that I promised her I wouldn't do that to the kids. Im so tired, mentally and emotionally. I just don't know what to do anymore. 

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My heart goes out to you.

My mother died from vascular dementia in April. It was after a five year battle against it.

My brother was killed in a car accident decades ago.

Because of the pandemic, I was only able to bury my mother in July. I thought I would feel better after her funeral, and after her name and dates were engraved on the stone under those of her better son. I do not. I only feel worse. I only feel either the horror or the void.

My heart and thoughts are with you.

Hello, Shane, my name is Pennywyze. I saw your story and wanted to let you know that I lost my father on February 7, 2019, and my husband 2 months and 2 days later on April 9, 2019. Jeremy and I had been together, and according to the state of Texas and the state of Colorado, we were common law husband and wife for 16 years. However, our legal union didn't happen until December 16, 2017. I never wanted to remarry. Now, I wish I had made things legal before then. 

Anyway, I figured you and I have losing a parent and spouse close to each other, and thought maybe we could be friends?


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