Don't grieve alone; 14,000 members and growing
When my father died - he was a victim of a violent crime - me and my family went through hell. But, from all the bad things, the memories from the funeral arrangements still linger in my thoughts. The bureaucracies: my father's siblings discussing if he should be buried with their parents, the "open coffin" decisions...etc.
I am so sorry for your loss, and for the trauma you went through. I felt the same way with my mother's death--I kept feeling like there should be an adult to come get things done, then I realized that the adult was me. Ugh, I just wanted someone else to deal with it all. I had to arrange for mortuary transport to another city, plan the funeral, everything, and that was all so weird. the police interrogated me and my sister when we went into the rehab center after my mom died, and they physically blocked me when I tried to walk past to go say goodbye to my mom. They said 'We can't let you see the body until you talk to us" And I started screaming and crying in the hallway saying 'that's my mom, her name is joyce, don't just call her a body!"
So it was a horrifying experience. I wanted the hospice people to step up and take care of this, but they didn't help at all. Other people have had such nice experiences with hospices--I feel cheated.