BLUEBELL
  • Female
  • Santa Ana, CA
  • United States
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Lost my Mom
5 Replies

I am new here. I lost my Mom on Valentines Day. There is a void in my life  that I need to figure out how to fill. I have been her caregiver for the past 3 years and she has been the center point of…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Jennifer Mar 12, 2017.

 

BLUEBELL's Page

Latest Activity

BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Seems like we all have our regrets and sadness that we live with every day. But I have noticed for myself that though I still have them, they have softened over time. Bluebell On a different subject I want to celebrate this morning of being able to…"
Oct 11, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Thanks Avi. I do not think it is going to be an easy battle, but I am willing to do what it takes to get though it. Wishing you the best Avi. I have been where you are and it is hard when your in that state of thinking to redirect it to you did what…"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am glad it helps you. I am going to try antidepressants and therapy. That is my choice. I believe enough in myself that with help, I can lead a better and happier life. But it will take some work on my part and I am willing to take the steps to…"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I have come to the conclusion that I am clinically depressed. I am seeking the help of professionals. Please wish me a speedy recovery. Bluebell"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"A responsible thought Virginia. Bluebell"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I love that book Brett. I will check out the Cortisol manager. It can not hurt and might help. Bluebell"
Oct 10, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"This anxiety is hard to get through sometimes. I am having a surge of adrenaline right now with a pounding heart and an unnamed fear. I have a book called "Jesus Calling". This would be a good time to read it. I also am going to text my…"
Oct 9, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is morning and I feel like crying. I miss the things I used to do with Mom when she woke up. Now all I have are the cats and my dog to care for and keep me company. It just seems like I should be moving on faster than I am and developing a life…"
Oct 8, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I am doing poorly emotionally and physically. I dread the holidays that are coming up. I dread the mornings and the nights. I do not know what to do anymore to find some peace and meaning in life. I am fearful a lot. I feel so helpless and useless.…"
Oct 6, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi all. I am doing okay. I miss my Mom everyday, but my thoughts of her are beginning to change. I find myself remembering every day moments with fondness vs sadness. For instance, when the phone rang, I always said to Mom "I will get it".…"
Sep 24, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Lia I am so sorry for your loss. Bluebell"
Sep 16, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Missing my Mom a lot too today. I am in tears. Bluebell"
Aug 24, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi Jayne. Welcome back. Bluebell"
Aug 21, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Actually, I am glad you did not see your Mom pass from this life to the next. I was there  for mine and it haunts me that I watched her struggled for breath. There are other things that happened before they took her away that I will never…"
Aug 19, 2018
BLUEBELL commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I can relate. There is no definite diagnosis whether my Mom passed away from her heart condition or respiratory failure. I will never know. But there was nothing I could have done to prevent it. That was out of my control. I pray that you feel your…"
Aug 19, 2018

Profile Information

About my Loss:
Loss of mother as an adult

Comment Wall (6 comments)

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At 12:54pm on August 25, 2017, Brett Bowman gave BLUEBELL a gift
Gift
You may be on the other side of the country but I know that a prayer can reach that far. God Bless you.
At 4:46pm on August 15, 2017, Joy said…

Bluebell, your post is identical to my feelings and I'm sure others. I try to stay extra busy, distracted so I don't think about my loss. But as you say, grief always catches up. It caught up with me at 2am this morning and I couldn't go back to sleep right away. It caught up with me again while I was sitting in my office at work, it caught up with me again while I'm in my car driving home. My heart is broken too and I don't think anything can fix that.

I hope you find the purpose you are seeking. I haven't found it yet.

At 5:32pm on July 25, 2017, Panda said…
Hi bluebell I'm so sorry about what happened. This will be the first Christmas without my mom too but you can get through this. I know it's hard but I know you can get through it. Stay strong. She's watching over you and she's in a better place now out of pain. Hugs <3
At 7:06pm on July 24, 2017, Heather said…
Bluebell could you check my comment wall? The young girl that posted today, panda sounds really distraught and am concerned about her. She commented that she didn't want to be here anymore and said that no one wants her. Not sure what to do since she lives somewhere in Cranston, USA and I live in Canada. Can I contact the administrator of this site? Can't get her words out of my head and am worried about her:(. If you have time can you let me know your thoughts? Thank you
Heather
At 10:10am on May 2, 2017, Tasha said…
Thank you for such kind words. God bless
At 6:12pm on February 28, 2017, Heather said…
So sorry for your loss of your Mom...please know that you are wished much strength always. Take good care of yourself...
 
 
 

Groups

Latest Activity

Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
4 hours ago
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Wednesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Tuesday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Tuesday
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again.  I lost part of me when she passed.  Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety.  Daily crying is part of my life. …"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"
Monday

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