Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Don't grieve alone.
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Benny Shipton
- Female
- United Kingdom
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Benny Shipton's Groups
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Traumatic, Sudden Loss
126 members
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I Miss My Parent(s)
37 members
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I love my Dad.
106 members
Benny Shipton's Page
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Latest Activity
I remember after my loss, people were saying things that i found insensitive, unneccasary, general things i did not want to hear like "at least he didn't have to get old " "at least you knew him at all", "he's in a better place now" " "at least he d…
This weekend will be one year since my dad died, i haven't been on here in a while. I've been getting really down alot recently, and also angry. I can feel myself taking my anger out on my mum, and i know i shouldn't. I want to stop myself but i can…
You know everyone grieves differently and in their own way. When my dad passed away in 2003, I wanted nothing more than to follow along with him. My father was the only one I had to talk , to at the time, who in his eyes I never did no wrong. Well,…
sorry it took me so long to write to you. i'm so sorry to hear about your Dad. I lost mine over 10 yrs ago and still miss him dearly. speaking from experience I know that you have to stop right now and do your grieving. when our daughter died I was…
it would have been my dads 51st in august, and the whole family got together and had a nice day remembering him, at the end we covered the garden in candles it looked beautiful.x
my dad died suddenly from a heart attack, aged 50, he was watching the film alexander before i went to bed and we had a conversation about why they had irish accents in the film, then i said goodnight and 15 minutes later i heard something crash int…
When my dad died 7 months ago i didn't really allow myself to grieve properly and i just got back to work and going out with my friends, and drinking alot. now i look back and can't believe how much time has passed. I feel like i want to stop everyt…
Im sorry for your loss, my dad died 7 months ago (still feels like yesterday) and it is only really just hitting me that it is forever. However you are feeling is normal, because everyone has to be able to deal in whatever way comes naturaly to them.
I got some more!
The doctor told me the counsellor was reserved for serious cases!
The counsellor on an 0800 free counselling phone line told me the line was for crisis' .
I accepted both of these ridiculous comments and found myself feeling like my…
Hi Benny,
thanks for that I totally understand,
heres one for ya -: "these things happen." they mean shut up and stop winging.
We are allowed to grieve, to be sad and mourn the death of our loved one.
Heidi - keep your Mum's name in the present tense - I keep my daughter's name in the present tense even now 8 years on. And you are quite right - they will always be present in our hearts - love and hugs to you Gail x
I created this group for people who may be grieving one or both parents. I lost my Mom and Dad within one year of each other. Dad passed away from Lung Cancer and Mom passed less than one year later from Pick's Disease.
Profile Information
- About Me:
- I am 21 year old female missing my dad.
- About my Loss:
- My dad died of a heart attack on March 15th 2009, i was in my room when i heard a crash against my bedroom door. I walked out to see my dad lying on the floor dying. It was just me and my younger sister in the house at the time and the ambulance took so long to come. I heard his last breath and knew that he was gone, even on the way to the hospital when my sister was asking if he would be ok, i couldn't answer her. I feel so guilty that i wasn't able to save him. He was only 50 years old.
Benny Shipton's Blog
One year on
This weekend will be one year since my dad died, i haven't been on here in a while. I've been getting really down alot recently, and also angry. I can feel myself taking my anger out on my mum, and i know i shouldn't. I want to stop myself but i can't, and after i'm done i hate myself for it.
I can't believe how quickly this year has gone by. Most of it i can't even remember.
I don't want to do anything, i don't have the motivation to get up and go find a job.
I don't wan
… ContinuePosted on March 11, 2010 at 9:07pm —
Times going too fast
When my dad died 7 months ago i didn't really allow myself to grieve properly and i just got back to work and going out with my friends, and drinking alot. now i look back and can't believe how much time has passed. I feel like i want to stop everything so that i don't get any further away from when it happened. I want to be able to break down and take some time to deal with this but i feel like i should have done it 7 months ago, and now the world around has moved on and it's like im not allowe… Continue
Posted on October 18, 2009 at 7:31pm — 2 Comments
annoying things people say..
i know there is one of these in the i miss my son or daughter forum but i wanted to write a few that have really p****d me off
The worst is the people who say it will be hard but you will get over it eventually
- no, you dont "get over it" you learn to live with it a little. i dont even want to get over it.
Some people have said "at least he didn't have to grow old"
- What? Because that's a bad thing?
the past tense.
- it annoys me how easily people can use my dads name in the past tense, it… Continue
The worst is the people who say it will be hard but you will get over it eventually
- no, you dont "get over it" you learn to live with it a little. i dont even want to get over it.
Some people have said "at least he didn't have to grow old"
- What? Because that's a bad thing?
the past tense.
- it annoys me how easily people can use my dads name in the past tense, it… Continue
Posted on September 14, 2009 at 11:08am — 5 Comments
Alone?
Am i alone? I certainly feel it. Along with an extreme amount of guilt for not being able to help my dad when he was dying, anger at my sister for hiding downstairs while it was happening. Regret that my older brother and sister hadn't seen him for a month. Confusion that i had a normal conversation with him, said i love you and goodnight, and half an hour later he was gone.
All of these feelings that i have had before in other circumstances, yet personifed by a thousand.
I need help.
All of these feelings that i have had before in other circumstances, yet personifed by a thousand.
I need help.
Posted on August 31, 2009 at 4:19pm — 4 Comments
Comment Wall (1 comment)
- At 11:52am on September 3, 2009,
Lou LaGrand, Ph.D. said… - Benny:
As a counselor, let me suggest your sister stayed downstairs out of fear. My brother helped my father more than anyone, but when he was told that morning that Dad was going to die, he could not be there. He went to work as he could not face death. Fear of death is a terrible thing to have to deal with for many people.
Groups
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Traumatic, Sudden Loss
126 members
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I love my Dad.
106 members
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Losing Someone to Cancer
90 members
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I miss my Mom!
81 members
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Missing my Son or Daug…
79 members
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Multiple Losses Group
51 members
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I Miss My Parent(s)
37 members
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Tattoo Memorial
36 members
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Lost Without My Mom
29 members
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mY sOuLmAtE, mY bEsTfRiE…
25 members
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Caylee Marie Anthony
19 members
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for loved ones who have…
19 members
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Orphaned Adults
16 members
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Losing a Sister
15 members
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When will the ache subsi…
10 members
Latest Activity
If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
@Mel &@Courtney - thx for the support. It helps coming here & reading posts by you all & others. It helps to know that I am not alone!
My brother died March 9, 2010. He was a big NASCAR fan. One Sunday a few weeks after he died, I was in bed and had been dozing off and on. The TV was on a channel that plays "whodunit" shows all day. I got up and went in to my office for a little wh…
My daughter, Lyndsey died on July 18, 2010 from injuries suffered in a motorcycle accident. She was 27 years old and left behind two children. In a blink of an eye, our world was turned upside down. I'm thankful that it was fast and she didn't linge…
For all of us that are suffering the loss a son or daughter.
@Mel YOur such an insperation when I come and read your posts...You have made it easy on me to have the fatih I do. I know that in time things will get better.....I am so glad that your doing good...and that you are talking to your dad in your own l…
Jan --
Thank you for your words....I try everyday to forgive myself and I also tell myself not to feel guilty, but it goes back to "I should of been there".
I sometimes think I need to find a griefing place here in town where I can sit down with p…
If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
Back in October 2009, my 21 yr old was riding his friend's motorcycle down a residential street when he was rammed into another car. Thank God the occupants of that car were not seriously hurt but unfortunately, my son sustained a massive brain in…
Greetings Amanda. Some people just dont realize how insensitive there comments are. I dont think they delibrately want to hurt us, they dont think before they speak. He who feels it, knows it. I had a parent from one of my children's class ask me if…
sorry to hear about your mom--and i tried reaching out to fred's friends but they are all couples now and dont want me around--especially since i am so sad and depressed all the time
I am creating this site for the many of us who have suffered several losses. I lost my mom, dad, grandma(2nd mom), grandpa, my beloved dog and divorce.
Many of us have lost more than one person or event.
Come share!
Useful Links
How to Write an Obituary How to Write a Eulogy Find A Grave Twinless Twins Dead or Alive Hospice My Loving Tribute Writing through Cancer
Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
View my page on Hospice Community Forum Your donations benefit the entire community.
Visit My Loving Tribute
Healing Grief Support
One year of writing and healing at a glance
View my page on Hospice Community Forum Your donations benefit the entire community.
Visit My Loving Tribute
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Books
To One In Sorrow
Let me come in where you are weeping, friend,
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
And let me take your hand.
I, who have known a sorrow such as yours, can understand.
Let me come in--I would be very still beside you in your grief;
I would not bid you cease your weeping, friend,
Tears bring relief. Let me come in--and hold your hand,
For I have known a sorrow such as yours, And understand.
-Grace Noll Crowell
The Light Beyond
The Gift That Freed Me To Give
A significant lesson for me has been understanding and accepting that our greatest gains often come through experiences in our lives that may be extremely painful. My father, Raphel Orval Beason, died less than four months before I was born at the age of 19 in an explosion at the Port Chicago U.S. Navy arsenal near Oakland, Calif. He was among 320 men killed on July 17, 1944, when two merchant ships blew next to...The loss of a son
Mother's Day will always be the anniversary of my son's death, no matter what date it falls on. May 9, 2010, the day I lost a piece of my heart. I have vivid memories of that day but they are brief glimpses only. He called that morning to tell me Happy Mother's Day Mom! I love you! I remember being 250 miles away from my home, my other child and my family. I don't know...Try tapping, it works wonders...
I don't often recommend specific methods to help with grief. But the self-help method I'm going to tell you about - EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques - is well worth making an exception for. Basically, it involves tapping on the acupuncture points to tap into your body's own energy and healing power. If you think that sounds a little far-fetched and woo-woo, so did I. In fact, I starting doing EFT on myself for chronic...Daughter of Suicide
It has been 22 and a half years since my mother’s suicide in October 1987. I look at that number – 22 – and it startles me. It’s hard to believe that I have lived more of my life without my mother, than with her. During those first 10 years after her death I carried the heavy load of her suicide every waking moment. I struggled with my own depression and feelings of abandonment and...8 practical ways to help a grieving family
When a friend or family member experiences the death of a loved one, we quickly offer our condolences and help. Listed here are eight practical suggestions for helping a friend or family member that has just suffered a loss. 1. Offer to answer the telephone or answer emails at the family's home. Telephone calls and email can take up a considerable amount of time. Take messages and give information to friends and family. 2. Volunteer...Badge
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