fred upton
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ok its update time
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Started this discussion. Last reply by donna henderson Nov 4, 2009.

thank you all so very much
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Started this discussion. Last reply by healing07 Jul 3, 2009.

how do i release the hate?
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Started this discussion. Last reply by Samantha Nicole Curry Jul 21, 2011.

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About Me:
i am an old biker my kids were taken from the mother i was unable to get my kids out of foster care as a result of my being a biker. now they begin to fear a bikers wrath too late for all in my path now. i became a better person years ago i lost who i am. no more i am reawakened.
About my Loss:
on 03-21-08 my 18 yr old daughter was shot and killed. they got the child that shot her yet i still cant let go of whats obviously pure hate. it is over a year and still i cant stop crying, hitting the heavy bag, wanting to destroy every thing person etc. i need help!

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gods plan for me

 it will soon be 3 yrs since my daughter was killed and my entire life has turned to pure haterid.

i think that i will never die for fear of what i have to say to god himself IF he ever has the raw nerve to show his face to me.  no one could have done what has become of me. death wil not come for me even though i beg. i want to die, but in a way that gets me into heaven. if there is a heaven/god any of it! i have earned serious doubts.

my daughters death killed me. my wife says…


Posted on December 23, 2010 at 1:28am — 7 Comments

i need someone smarter than me

i wanted to start a program in her memory that eliminates the need for foster care,child support,deadbeat parents,and eventually poverty.

ok first put people that owe child support in school. once they have a degree a good job get your more deadbeats.... and no more child support problems very soon.

start completing educations at degree levels.... given the better jobs, better living standards would rise. eventually terminating all social care systems necesity.

am i… Continue

Posted on June 6, 2009 at 12:44pm — 1 Comment

the time to deal with things

after tommorows date im taking a much needed break from our society. mayby mexico on my bike. pay some vato a few hundred dollar bills to get my agression therapy. or pop up to canada and let some frenchy look down his nose at me. lol... ...whatever tomorow brings ill probably need it. ill probably have to wait until the ledger posts the outcome. but if i gased up now i could get there easily on time. deciscions deciscions. na i'd try 4 him . i wouldnt introduce myself to anyone. just go sit in… Continue

Posted on June 2, 2009 at 3:05am — 2 Comments

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At 6:52am on April 13, 2011, John B said…

I'm sorry to hear of your tragic loss. It's good that you have dogs who give unconditionnal love to us who most need it as they can teach us how to give to others. I wish I could have a puppy, but the building I live in won't allow dogs or cats, even though the manager is allowed to have one who barks and fears most people as she was born in the country and there's far too much negativity in this drug and alcohol addicted hood & whirl'd 'klass' 'town'. It's also good that you are reaching out for help and have many friends here who support your recovery. I hope these links help as well



At 5:34am on May 22, 2009, Katherine Ellis said…
I just went and got a tat on my back on an angel for my daughter. Even though she wasn't taken from violence, I had to watch her drown and there wasn't anything we could do. You just got through an anniversary date which is double hard to take. Keep on crying and hitting that heavy bag. It does help. Try to let your family at least heal part of your heart. It will never heal all the way. There isn't anything wrong with a biker guy, I'm married to one. If you need to rant, email me I'm listed and always ready to listen if it will help you. Hugs to all of you, Katherine
At 6:50pm on May 20, 2009, Diana, Grief Recovery Coach said…
p.s. you should put your picture back online as well. Just click photos under quick add.
At 8:11am on May 20, 2009, Diana, Grief Recovery Coach said…
my brother was killed and the person that killed him walks the street, all because he convinced the authorities that James committed suicide - not true. I know how you feel. But I have channeled my hatred into more positive things. I believe in Karma, so I know its just a matter of time. Have you found any grief support groups in your area? That is how I started to cope, but I needed more and that's why I created this site. It may help to post pictures of your daughter and talk about her on here. There are a lot of people that will wrap their arms around you. Well virtually anyway. (((((hugs)))))

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I'm in a somber mood, tonight. I really don't even want to do my journal entry, but I have been doing better with getting an entry done on a daily basis, and I don't want to fall out of the habit just because my heart hurts.My ex brother-in-law was admitted to the hospital last night for smoke inhalation. They were saying that they didn't know if he was going to make it at one point. His trailer caught fire, and he was not aware that his girlfriend Linda had made it out of the window. James had…See More

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