"Missing my Michael. No new stories to tell, no new pictures to post. Just simply missing him so bad my insides hurt. I'd give anything to hear his voice or see his face.
I try to keep Connie's song words in my mind…"
"David your okay, I use to repeat myself and I use to run around the house frantically looking for something. When my boyfriend would ask me what I was looking for I would just cry and tell him I don't know but if I keep looking I'll…"
"Tomorrow's Mother's Day. I usually spend it depressed and I don't expect tomorrow to be much different. I can't pull myself to say, HAPPY MOTHER's DAY, knowing all of us will feel our own sadness for the one that is…"
"David, I'm sorry you have to join us. My heart is with you and Carli today.
I agree with Ammy, right now allow yourself to grieve but know your wife and daughter need you too.
We all know that feeling of wanting to die because it feels…"
"I don't mean to offend anyone but I thought clergy would be able to offer me something but nope nothing. The only people that can offer me anything in this, is another parent going through it.
I'm going to see one of our…"
"That's what you have to do B. one minute, day and moment at a time.
Yesterday one of my sister's told me I needed to join a group of parents so I could learn to cope with my loss of Michael. I had to let her know…"
"B. Windsor, I too had to wait for a medical report to help me understand what happened. Then once it finally arrived I had to find the right moment to read it. Opening it was not easy but I knew I had to.
We all struggle to find our way. …"
"Teresa D. I read your profile info, that's how me and my son were, very close and we talked about everything.
Thank you for being here for me.
My son got cremated and hopefully gets lay down at the cemetery latest next week, so he can rest in…"
"Thanks ladies, for your support. I'm glad I had it to share.
Silke B I am so sorry you had to find us, just know your not alone.
Connie, I had to giggle at your sister. It's funny how everybody wants us to…"
I'm just a mom who really misses her son. Michael and I talked all the time. He talked to me in a way most sons talk to their dad. I was proud of our closeness and I was proud of him. Now all I have are memories and tears.
About my Loss:
My son, Michael born Febrauary 14th, 1983, suddenly passed away on September 14th, 2012. We talked on the phone for about a good two hours on the 14th, if only I knew that would be our last conversation. We talked about his future and where he was headed. My last words to him were, "if anything ever happened to you or your sister I would never be able to breathe again." We said, "I love you" and hung up. Well, I can't breathe. Because he wasn't discovered over the weekend they wouldn't allow me to see him. Open coffin was not possible. so not only did my Lil' Michael leave but I didn't get to say good bye, I didn't get to see him and I didn't get to hold or touch him. I try to tell myself God did it that way so I could let go easier. Not sure it's working.
Teresa D. I read your profile info, that's how me and my son were, very close and we talked about everything.
Thank you for being here for me.
My son got cremated and hopefully gets lay down at the cemetery latest next week, so he can rest in peace. Took 6 weeks, cause of some paperwork (german bureaucracy ), the military has to bring the urn here and the investigation is still going on.
at the time I felt unfairly attacked and tried to explain myself and my fear and anguish over the difficulties my sons had to face and the apprehension that I would lose them at a young age... and I was grieving for my granddaughters too... but even that horrible grief that immobilized me for at least a year... I carried around a baby doll, wrote poetry to my granddaughters ... did not function well AT ALL... and yet it was just NOT the same... horrible as it was and IS to have lost my sweet granddaughters... it's NOT THE SAME...
I wish with ALL MY HEART that I had only NEARLY lost my son.... and its just too simplistic to say 'grief is grief'.... we don't negate your grief... so please don't trivialize what we are trying to tell you... we don't want to hurt you any more than you are hurting.... I once was attacked in another grief room... years ago after I lost my granddaughters... because I said I was in a sense grieving for my two totally disabled sons because they seemed to be dying a little at a time... at the time I didn't understand the fury that descended upon me for saying that... now I do... unfortunately...
I think ZELL should stop this ... nobody is trying to say you aren't grieving for your mate... and nobody is saying it isn't horrible... personally I don't know what its like and PLEASE GOD I never will because I truly think I would lose my mind... and my husband has health issues.. so I DO empathize with your loss Zell.... but you did not lose a child... so please don't compare ... you don't know it because you haven't been there but you just CAN'T compare any other grief than that of a grieving parent... not that we are saying we are in some sort of sick race to prove who is suffering the most or anything.. its just DIFFERENT in a horrible way you can't understand...
Teresa-I have wondered the same thing regarding Zell. Losing a child doesnot involve the same emotions, grief, heartbreak and other feelings as losing a spouse or partner. Not that it is not traumatic to them; but it is nothing like a mother's grief. Hugs
Hi Teressa, I am so sorry for the loss of your son Michael. I have no answers for you on why this sadness happened in your life. I search for answers too. This is probably the most difficult circumstance I ever had to deal with, and all I know is I need to be strong for my 12 year old that he will not loose his Mother too. Thank you for your friend request, and hope that our friendship will give you some needed support.
Dear Teresa, thank you for your kind comment about my daughter. First let me say "I am so sorry for your loss". I can't image your pain or hurt has gotten any better. I send you a tight hug from across the miles.
As I was reading your story about your son. I realized we share the same experience. Amber's accident was quite severe that an open casket was not possible. And I too was not able to see her one last time or say "Goodbye". Our last words to each other was "I love you" on June 15, 2014 at 5:00 pm. And she died that same night just after midnight June 16, 2014, while driving home from attending the Spurs final game.
You and I are left without "closure", that most people have. That one last viewing. And since we did not see them; it makes it HARDER to believe they are actually gone. It just left us what I feel as "paralyzed". We can't move from here. All we were left with was our last conversation with them. "Paralyzed". I think that's why I am having such a hard time not being able to really cry for her. I feel she's still in her home in San Antonio and I'm here in our home town (3 hours away). It just doesn't seem real. i just can't beleive she's gone. I'm terrified of the intense pain when the shock does wear off. Which I think is starting to happen. Please know my heart aches for you and I feel exactly how you felt and feel still today. All my love, Rachel
Hi Teresa, I'm so so sorry for your loss. My son died at age 31 on June 9, 2014. He was born on September 14, 1982 and he was the light of my life. I am still in shock and disbelief over his sudden passing. My Michael had struggled for a period of time with drugs but for the last 8 months was turning his life around. He was a talented graphic designer and animator for big companies like HBO, Showtime, A&E, History channel and other popular shows. Michael's dad had passed away and I was re-married to a wonderful man with a daughter 10 years younger. They got along so well; I truly felt we had the perfect family......until June 9th. Evidently Michael and his girlfriend chose to pick up drugs again and they never woke up. The news just rocked my world. I trying to breathe -one breath at a time. Your story truly resonated with me and I wanted to reach out. I too didn't get to see Michael however i'm ok with that - I want to remember him full of life. It helps me keep him alive in my mind. I wish you peace and pleased keep in touch - I need the support desperately. Hugs - Gale
"Hi everyone! Today was a stressful day for me. I found a great website it is called Soul Proof .com. Bluebell I thought about you as I was reading different things on after death experiences. Both times my daughter and I have been together in…"
its ok 2 grief evn ifs its a 50 yrs its still ok evn 80 yrs its ok no 1 shud tell pele 2 not giref its not lk a op or bandge u can tak off its not griefs 1 thng u ca n not heal
sorry if im sayin wong thngs heat
sorry abot yore loss 2"
"I'm new to the group. In November 2015 my Mom & Dad were cutting a tree branch in their backyard and the branch fell on my Mom and killed her. I am numb some days. I just try to focus on how wonderful my mom was, not how…"
"Bluebell, thank you for posting the comment about having a mother that loved you, food to eat, and your family. I too am luck to have/have had those things. Your comment reminded me of what I have to be thankful for. Christine"
"Thank you Theresa. It is hard for me to accept I am still grieving her loss so much. But I am still going to try and inch forward little by little and have more "okay" times. I think my Mom would want that. I can not stay in this…"
"Bluebell, grieving is a normal part of life and death, you are only 6 months into it, please don't expect too much, I am now almost two years and I still am trying to accept the fact of what happened and how fast it occurred. Some days I…"
"Karen, I just want to offer my sincere sympathy in losing your son. While I'm grieving my mom's death, and our situations are completely different, I do know what grief is and can relate on that point. I'm glad you are getting the…"
"I am blessed to have my sister. But I also realize that she is going through a bad time too and it would not be fair to her to burden her with all the negativity that is going through my mind. With that being said, I am going to try and be more…"
"Bluebell, I will pray for you as well. I understand.
Theresa, that is one of the most beautiful things about Catholicism. Sitting in adoration of the sacrament is an incredible blessing.
Bluebell, you wrote something that was very telling. You have…"
"You are lucky that you spent 55 years, but I had only 3years and the pain is getting worse day by day. Moving from one place to another does not help because you can not remove that person from your heart.
Same feeling I am having which you…"