"I was told left my son rest and he is at peace.
I was angry at the people that made that statement, how can my son be peace and someone killed him and I don't fight for answers.
How do I live with myself?
"Judy, I lost my son Michael and yet I still can't imagine the grief you must feel. It's hard to say Merry Christmas but I hope you find a second of peace.
it's been a while since I've been here. For my old…"
"Dennis I mean no disrespect however you have been asked numerous times to leave this group. You have not lost a child not do you have any clue what we experience. Last time your words were so inappropriate you were pushed from this…"
I'm just a mom who really misses her son. Michael and I talked all the time. He talked to me in a way most sons talk to their dad. I was proud of our closeness and I was proud of him. Now all I have are memories and tears.
About my Loss:
My son, Michael born Febrauary 14th, 1983, suddenly passed away on September 14th, 2012. We talked on the phone for about a good two hours on the 14th, if only I knew that would be our last conversation. We talked about his future and where he was headed. My last words to him were, "if anything ever happened to you or your sister I would never be able to breathe again." We said, "I love you" and hung up. Well, I can't breathe. Because he wasn't discovered over the weekend they wouldn't allow me to see him. Open coffin was not possible. so not only did my Lil' Michael leave but I didn't get to say good bye, I didn't get to see him and I didn't get to hold or touch him. I try to tell myself God did it that way so I could let go easier. Not sure it's working.
Teresa D. I read your profile info, that's how me and my son were, very close and we talked about everything.
Thank you for being here for me.
My son got cremated and hopefully gets lay down at the cemetery latest next week, so he can rest in peace. Took 6 weeks, cause of some paperwork (german bureaucracy ), the military has to bring the urn here and the investigation is still going on.
at the time I felt unfairly attacked and tried to explain myself and my fear and anguish over the difficulties my sons had to face and the apprehension that I would lose them at a young age... and I was grieving for my granddaughters too... but even that horrible grief that immobilized me for at least a year... I carried around a baby doll, wrote poetry to my granddaughters ... did not function well AT ALL... and yet it was just NOT the same... horrible as it was and IS to have lost my sweet granddaughters... it's NOT THE SAME...
I wish with ALL MY HEART that I had only NEARLY lost my son.... and its just too simplistic to say 'grief is grief'.... we don't negate your grief... so please don't trivialize what we are trying to tell you... we don't want to hurt you any more than you are hurting.... I once was attacked in another grief room... years ago after I lost my granddaughters... because I said I was in a sense grieving for my two totally disabled sons because they seemed to be dying a little at a time... at the time I didn't understand the fury that descended upon me for saying that... now I do... unfortunately...
I think ZELL should stop this ... nobody is trying to say you aren't grieving for your mate... and nobody is saying it isn't horrible... personally I don't know what its like and PLEASE GOD I never will because I truly think I would lose my mind... and my husband has health issues.. so I DO empathize with your loss Zell.... but you did not lose a child... so please don't compare ... you don't know it because you haven't been there but you just CAN'T compare any other grief than that of a grieving parent... not that we are saying we are in some sort of sick race to prove who is suffering the most or anything.. its just DIFFERENT in a horrible way you can't understand...
Teresa-I have wondered the same thing regarding Zell. Losing a child doesnot involve the same emotions, grief, heartbreak and other feelings as losing a spouse or partner. Not that it is not traumatic to them; but it is nothing like a mother's grief. Hugs
Hi Teressa, I am so sorry for the loss of your son Michael. I have no answers for you on why this sadness happened in your life. I search for answers too. This is probably the most difficult circumstance I ever had to deal with, and all I know is I need to be strong for my 12 year old that he will not loose his Mother too. Thank you for your friend request, and hope that our friendship will give you some needed support.
"This website is like a secret world we inhabit where the platitudes and scorn for not fitting in are understood as hogwash. We know better than anyone on the outside of our grief how this has affected us. I am so tired of being labeled…"
"I,m grateful that I found this site. It's sort of like besides my family, you all are the only friends I have left. I do have a couple that are long distance, but don't get to see them very often. All my so called local…"
"Morgan & Joe,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. You put into words the horror I go through everyday. Going on year 7 without my Husband Julian. He was my whole life and I want to be with him but I can't. If I didn't believe in God I…"
"Joe, 49 years is a long time. Long enough to embed yourself in each other and there is nothing that will soothe the tearing apart of that union. I knew my husband for 55 (since 2nd grade) and we were together for 35. Long…"
"Morgan, Monday will be a very tough day for both of us. It's one year for me which seems like one long day, and six for you, which scares the hell out of me thinking about how long do I have to be here before I go to her. It seems like one long…"
"Lets be honest. Death sucks. As I read the posts on here and I see how we struggle when we lose someone to death it boggles the mind how any of us keep moving. I keep saying to myself there is something I can do to make myself feel better and it…"
Emma is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"I agree with all of that. I didn't expect a reward. My mom was reward enough, but I am not the same person that I once was. And I thought that some kind of balance would occur. I can't explain that really. It's been defeating. As soon…"
"After my husband’s death, and now after losing my mother, I also found myself somehow imagining that, not so much that something good would happen, more that some kind of reward would come to me, something to balance off the pain and…"
"There's something that has been on my mind lately and this is the best place to mention it. As much as I feared and dreaded my mom's death, I sort of felt like something good would happen, maybe not right away, but eventually. Like Karma…"
"I know how you feel. I lost my mom Jan 6, 2019 and it is so raw and all I do is cry. I was in the room when she passed and had been all day. My regret is I wasn't holding her hand when she took her last breath. She had dementia and I saw her 3…"
I am not a doctor but I am a student of the Bible. It seems that you are suffering from anxiety over your past. Humans including ourselves seem to filter the good things we have done and focus on the "bad". But God is the opposite.…"