"Teresa D. I read your profile info, that's how me and my son were, very close and we talked about everything.
Thank you for being here for me.
My son got cremated and hopefully gets lay down at the cemetery latest next week, so he can rest in…"
"Thanks ladies, for your support. I'm glad I had it to share.
Silke B I am so sorry you had to find us, just know your not alone.
Connie, I had to giggle at your sister. It's funny how everybody wants us to…"
"Was a really hard month but once again I survived it. The day Michael came and the day Michael left are just so hard to get by.
For the past few weeks I've been praying to God to help me hear his voice. I feel like his voice…"
"Debbie I am so sorry for the lost of your Mom. Just know she was just as important to us as we were to her.
Rita I don't have advise. My mother shut down in 2008 when my dad passed away, til this day she has not been able to offer…"
"I'm 4 1/2 years in and still crying daily. I hate this, some days I feel like I'm making progress and some days I feel stuck back on day one. I learned there's nowhere I can go to escape it so I have to embrace it. …"
"Patty your not doing anything wrong. We always think others are doing better than ourselves, but NO! We all just have to find our own way. I agree with Ammy I never want all of it to go away. If I have to feel my Michael through my…"
"Dolly, Jill sometimes I think it's they don't know what to say so they say nothing. They think talking about them will make us sad without knowing it's the lack of talking about them that makes us sad.
Connie I'm sorry…"
"When I first entered this room it was so active. I came here daily for the emotional support and understanding that only other parents could understand. I think of all of you daily.
Today is Michael's birthday, he would be…"
"You are so right Connie we don't move on we only move through our grief.
I've become more quite cause I just don't know what to say anymore. I've become such a faker. Little does everyone know I still break down every…"
I'm just a mom who really misses her son. Michael and I talked all the time. He talked to me in a way most sons talk to their dad. I was proud of our closeness and I was proud of him. Now all I have are memories and tears.
About my Loss:
My son, Michael born Febrauary 14th, 1983, suddenly passed away on September 14th, 2012. We talked on the phone for about a good two hours on the 14th, if only I knew that would be our last conversation. We talked about his future and where he was headed. My last words to him were, "if anything ever happened to you or your sister I would never be able to breathe again." We said, "I love you" and hung up. Well, I can't breathe. Because he wasn't discovered over the weekend they wouldn't allow me to see him. Open coffin was not possible. so not only did my Lil' Michael leave but I didn't get to say good bye, I didn't get to see him and I didn't get to hold or touch him. I try to tell myself God did it that way so I could let go easier. Not sure it's working.
Teresa D. I read your profile info, that's how me and my son were, very close and we talked about everything.
Thank you for being here for me.
My son got cremated and hopefully gets lay down at the cemetery latest next week, so he can rest in peace. Took 6 weeks, cause of some paperwork (german bureaucracy ), the military has to bring the urn here and the investigation is still going on.
at the time I felt unfairly attacked and tried to explain myself and my fear and anguish over the difficulties my sons had to face and the apprehension that I would lose them at a young age... and I was grieving for my granddaughters too... but even that horrible grief that immobilized me for at least a year... I carried around a baby doll, wrote poetry to my granddaughters ... did not function well AT ALL... and yet it was just NOT the same... horrible as it was and IS to have lost my sweet granddaughters... it's NOT THE SAME...
I wish with ALL MY HEART that I had only NEARLY lost my son.... and its just too simplistic to say 'grief is grief'.... we don't negate your grief... so please don't trivialize what we are trying to tell you... we don't want to hurt you any more than you are hurting.... I once was attacked in another grief room... years ago after I lost my granddaughters... because I said I was in a sense grieving for my two totally disabled sons because they seemed to be dying a little at a time... at the time I didn't understand the fury that descended upon me for saying that... now I do... unfortunately...
I think ZELL should stop this ... nobody is trying to say you aren't grieving for your mate... and nobody is saying it isn't horrible... personally I don't know what its like and PLEASE GOD I never will because I truly think I would lose my mind... and my husband has health issues.. so I DO empathize with your loss Zell.... but you did not lose a child... so please don't compare ... you don't know it because you haven't been there but you just CAN'T compare any other grief than that of a grieving parent... not that we are saying we are in some sort of sick race to prove who is suffering the most or anything.. its just DIFFERENT in a horrible way you can't understand...
Teresa-I have wondered the same thing regarding Zell. Losing a child doesnot involve the same emotions, grief, heartbreak and other feelings as losing a spouse or partner. Not that it is not traumatic to them; but it is nothing like a mother's grief. Hugs
Hi Teressa, I am so sorry for the loss of your son Michael. I have no answers for you on why this sadness happened in your life. I search for answers too. This is probably the most difficult circumstance I ever had to deal with, and all I know is I need to be strong for my 12 year old that he will not loose his Mother too. Thank you for your friend request, and hope that our friendship will give you some needed support.
Dear Teresa, thank you for your kind comment about my daughter. First let me say "I am so sorry for your loss". I can't image your pain or hurt has gotten any better. I send you a tight hug from across the miles.
As I was reading your story about your son. I realized we share the same experience. Amber's accident was quite severe that an open casket was not possible. And I too was not able to see her one last time or say "Goodbye". Our last words to each other was "I love you" on June 15, 2014 at 5:00 pm. And she died that same night just after midnight June 16, 2014, while driving home from attending the Spurs final game.
You and I are left without "closure", that most people have. That one last viewing. And since we did not see them; it makes it HARDER to believe they are actually gone. It just left us what I feel as "paralyzed". We can't move from here. All we were left with was our last conversation with them. "Paralyzed". I think that's why I am having such a hard time not being able to really cry for her. I feel she's still in her home in San Antonio and I'm here in our home town (3 hours away). It just doesn't seem real. i just can't beleive she's gone. I'm terrified of the intense pain when the shock does wear off. Which I think is starting to happen. Please know my heart aches for you and I feel exactly how you felt and feel still today. All my love, Rachel
Hi Teresa, I'm so so sorry for your loss. My son died at age 31 on June 9, 2014. He was born on September 14, 1982 and he was the light of my life. I am still in shock and disbelief over his sudden passing. My Michael had struggled for a period of time with drugs but for the last 8 months was turning his life around. He was a talented graphic designer and animator for big companies like HBO, Showtime, A&E, History channel and other popular shows. Michael's dad had passed away and I was re-married to a wonderful man with a daughter 10 years younger. They got along so well; I truly felt we had the perfect family......until June 9th. Evidently Michael and his girlfriend chose to pick up drugs again and they never woke up. The news just rocked my world. I trying to breathe -one breath at a time. Your story truly resonated with me and I wanted to reach out. I too didn't get to see Michael however i'm ok with that - I want to remember him full of life. It helps me keep him alive in my mind. I wish you peace and pleased keep in touch - I need the support desperately. Hugs - Gale
"It will soon be four years since I lost my mom and today the grief is worse than ever ... I wonder will it ever go away ... and do I even want it to go? I don't mind the constant sadness, but it often becomes so overwhelming in it's…"
"I got back from the hospital. I checked in and I was there for several hours. the results came back and the doctor told me that chest x-ray came clean and that my bloodwork is normal. Also my EKG also showed no abnormalities. in short, I am a…"
"Nancy, grieving is hard work because at some point you have to pick yourself up. So your emotions go up and down. Thankfully between my daughter and work, I'm busy. That helps otherwise I would be a mess. The finality of…"
"Theresa, YES!! I almost forgot about this but I used to do the same thing. We would be out for dinner and I'd see a daughter with her elderly mother, and I just kept looking at them thinking how lucky she was to still have her mom. Looking…"
"Thank you Nancy yes I wished that we lived closer also it would be great to talk with you
Bluebell, it took me sometime to go shopping, mostly because of panic and anxiety attacks that take over, but I did and still do the same thing I would look at…"
I just read your post from yesterday. You are SO right!! I have some clothing of my mom's tucked away that I am keeping. One piece is a shirt she used to wear in the 60's that I remember so clearly from when I was a little girl. I…"
"I'm so sorry, Theresa. It's too bad the lot of us don't live nearer together so we could meet and support one another. One thing I've learned through this is that there are people in our lives who can be thoughtless and…"
I can relate so well to this. I can't tell you how many times I have said and felt these exact same things. I'd see a recipe that looked good and start to call my mom to tell her about it, I'd create a piece of art but she…"
"I went out shopping with a friend today. When I saw a pretty wind chime, I found myself thinking "Mom would like that". But there is no more Mom to get presents for. I miss her. I want her back. I wish this was all a very long, horrible…"
"It really helps to communicate with others who have experienced the same loss, so thanks to all who answered my post. Lenny, Connie and Kim - we all understand each other. Today was a better day for me - some days are like that.…"
"Dear Connie, Katherine and Kim
I fully understand the bereft feelings and I also have been anxious about precious moments of our daughters and where they will end up when we pass. The pain of losing our only child never ends , even when we appear to…"
I feel the very same way. I have everything form my son's baby things, through elementary and high school. He died at age 17 and never got to even graduate, drive a car by himself, well you know....I have things of mine I wanted…"
"I too have regrets and your post deeply resonated with me. I wish I spent more time with him. I wished I laughed more with him. I wish I talked to him more. It's too late now.
I will never be the same. I am trying to help myself in little…"
I am forced to do all of these things as quick as I can because I have to go back to work soon. I am trying to finish all of the paperwork. I was forced to do things quickly even though I am so emotionally distraught. My world stopped when…"
I am so sad that your husband died a sudden death. My partner and I had a conversation about what's the worst thing that could happen to him. We talked about it for hours and we cried a lot that night. In a way we were saying…"
"Catherine, I to lost my only child my son in 2014. im not doing good, I pray to die everyday. theres no life with out my son for me. shawn is the love of my life. my depression is getting worse, my loneliness emptiness. im so very…"
"Heather, yes I do, I have no one, my husband doesn't even want to hear me talk about it, he ignores me when I do
I have not had a dream about her yet
To me it seems like everyone thinks I should just move on, but I'm not ready, I have…"
"I do the same thing, at least several times a day. My Mom was a diabetic so I had to take the used testing strips back to the pharmacy the other day. I actually sat In the car hugging it, something of hers that I have to let go of and it made me so…"