JenShep
  • Female
  • Washington, DC
  • United States
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JenShep's Friends

  • Geri
  • TimB
  • Amy
  • Lost with out him
  • Jon-Paul Ackerman
  • morgan

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Latest Activity

JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I haven't posted in a while but I'm still in the same boat I was last time I posted and to come back here and read others' posts that sound so much like what I'm still going through is a bit of a comfort.  Joe, like you I…"
Nov 13, 2018
JenShep replied to Nicole's discussion Lost my husband the father of my kids and bestfriend . in the group Lost My Spouse...
"Some days, yes it does. And some days it’s worse than the day you lost him. I’m two years out."
Oct 18, 2018
JenShep and Geri are now friends
Jul 19, 2018
JenShep replied to Madeleine's discussion What would you do if you could have your lost loved one back for just five minutes?
"bluebird, that's the perfect answer and exactly what I'd want. I think about this all the time. I also think of how hard it would be to have him back for 5 minutes and then to have to lose him again if I wasn't able to follow him. For…"
Jul 19, 2018
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, Yes! I keep thinking I’ll find my reason for still existing but it eludes me. And without reason, what is the point of anything? And the exhaustion... it’s worse now than it ever was. I feel like I’m walking through water…"
Jun 30, 2018
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Jon-Paul. I am afraid I am on the same path and appreciate your advice a lot. "
Jun 25, 2018
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Geraldine, i have spoken to two different mediums. Both were recommended to me by the same person but I will say this person was much less of a skeptic than I am. Both readings were a let down. The first one was just awful. Nothing she said hit on…"
Jun 20, 2018
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Same here. I’ve been wondering what it is about me that makes me this way. Just out of curiosity, would some of you share your astrological signs? I’m a Capricorn and it’s one of the most loyal signs in the zodiac. I have wondered…"
Jun 20, 2018
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Alice, I totally understand what you’re expressing and I feel the same way although my certainty waxes and wanes. Sometimes I feel so good because I know he’s right here with me and sometimes I can’t feel it and sink back down into…"
May 20, 2018
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I’ve cried for 561 days in a row. How can that not kill me?? This is crazy. How can we live like this?"
Apr 29, 2018
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Nancy, Yup, yup, yup. I know I shouldn't compare with other people's losses but I do think this is the worst. We lose our biggest love and we lose in all parts of life too. We eat dinner alone. We go to bed alone. We don't have…"
Mar 13, 2018
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Alice, Thank you so much. Your comment did a lot for me - it made me feel really good!  I've had so many times where I'm convinced that Tom is with me. I heard his voice for the first time in a year and a half just a few weeks ago.…"
Mar 13, 2018
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Morgan, The only thing that keeps me here is thinking about how much my mom would suffer if I were gone AND the idea that I would have to come back in a next life and go through this again. I can't imagine having to do this again in another…"
Mar 8, 2018
JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Linda and Morgan, I feel the same as you both. Every night I state my intention that I will die (an easy death hopefully since Tom's was so horrific) and be with Tom and that we will go on a great adventure together and never have to be apart…"
Mar 2, 2018
JenShep left a comment for TimB
"Hi Tim, Thanks so much for your note. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write back to you sooner. I wonder how you are doing? Only a month since you lost your wife... I remember a numbness that…"
Jan 20, 2018
JenShep is now friends with TimB, Amy and Jon-Paul Ackerman
Jan 17, 2018

Profile Information

About Me:
43yo, no kids, no pets.
About my Loss:
I lost the love of my life in October, only 5 months after his stage IV pancreatic cancer diagnosis. He was only 41. A young 41. It was my worst fear come to life.

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 9:28am on January 17, 2018, TimB said…

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dearly loved wife in December.  She was 40. She had been fighting for nearly 3 years! Fighting hard! While my journey is no more or less painful than yours, I had more time to process what was going on. Perhaps it did me no favors in that you fully believe your going to beat this but in the end she was healed. Not in the way we were all praying for, but healed none-the-less, according to God's plan. I have to understand that I'm not in control. That has been the hardest thing for me to grasp is that I can't fix it, no matter how much I want to. The best doctors and medicines couldn't beat her cancer. I'm devastated but hold on to the hope that God's grace will be sufficient. I wish you all the good things in life! If you ever need to vent, I'll be here. -Tim

At 5:51pm on September 23, 2017, Susan K said…

Hi Jen,

I am very sorry for your loss, I hope you can take each moment at a time and try not to think to much ahead, it just becomes overwhelming. I have not a  sincere laugh or happy moment since I lost my love. You hit the nail on the head when you said, "my worst fear come to life". I lost my husband after a 10 month battle with cancer, he died in February and my life has become a series of uneventful acts, nothing has meaning. I cry everyday and its still the ugly cry! But I can also hear my husband telling me not to give up, he told me before he died that the hardest part of everything was seeing me fall apart, so I try to be strong and enjoy life as we planned. Its hard but some days are less hard. I haven't found anyone but family that understands. I too am have no children and am fairly young 49 ( to be a widow), I do have a dog that has kept me sane, truly if it wasn't for her I would never get out of bed. Although I understand the temptation to end the misery of life, I hope you don't and just give it time. Time isn't a cure for missing your love but in time you may feel that you have something to be here for. As we all on this site can attest to, life changes in a flash...I don't mean to be preachy at all, I just think that we are all put on this earth for a reason and life needs to run its course...There is a good I am totally wrong but it is what gets me through the pain.I wish you peace and love. Sue

At 1:26pm on June 23, 2017, morgan said…

Jenifer. I lost my love to stage IV caner and we had 27 days from diagnosis to death.  He was 63 and in 2 days would have been his 68th birthday.  No kids and one cat who belonged to him and stayed with me afterwards until she too died.  I am a broken shell of a halfway functioning person and it is only on sites like this that I get my most comfort since everyone here understands the depth of what death does to those left behind.  I am so sorry that you have to join us but somehow sharing our misery seems to relieve a certain amount of the load we carry.  One hour at a time.

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Jennifer left a comment for morgan
"Thanks Morgan for commenting on my profile page. Wow...What u described that u go through every day of every year is exactly how I feel. I lost my girlfriend/fiance of 5 years to suicide. I know without a doubt in my mind that she is my soul mate so…"
yesterday
morgan left a comment for Jennifer
"Jennifer,   If there was anything at all I could say, I would.  No one who hasn't lost the love of their life can understand the amount of pain that stays with us for a very long time.  I know at four years I was still banging…"
yesterday
maria left a comment for Michael
"sorry for your loss I lost my husband feb 2016 its been rough I was married 44yrs"
Friday
Profile IconSN, maria and Jennifer joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Friday
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"I feel it all depends on the relationship, no matter if man or woman."
Thursday
Avi commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi All,  Hows everybody doing? Theressa, Brett, Adams, Virginia?"
Thursday
M Adams commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Have heard the same thing about men and loneliness, based on the assumption that women usually have richer and more developed social networks, a wider range of relationships, etc.  Of course this isn’t true of all women, though it seems…"
Thursday
M Adams joined Katherine Ellis's group
Thumbnail

Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
Thursday
Michael Thompson commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"In my opinion as a Widower by 4 and a half years, men find dealing with being alone and loneliness harder than woman, this is what widows I meet tell me. I strive on a daily basis to at least be less anxious, but I miss my right arm in my…"
Thursday
Karrie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Wednesday
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"This past week we lost a young man of 24 with three children, If there is a God why would he take this young man instead of me who's life is over. I really question my faith."
Tuesday
Joe Kelly commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"Our suffering is unbelievable and unbearable Dream Moon.  We just jave to believe that there is an afterlife where we will be reunited with those we love.  That's all I live for now.  To die to be with my Loving wife.  I…"
Tuesday
SGO is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Monday
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"wearss my mannerss gon joe sorry on yore loss 2"
Apr 14
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"i no so sad joe loss dear frinedd few days go way she sufferdd coz of illness wz cruell coz she wz a veryy sweet kind lady "
Apr 14
Joe Kelly commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"Why I don't know, but everyone dies someday.  There is a lot of evil in our world who do terrible things.  I'm sorry for your loss.  I too suffer the loss of my wife and afraid my daughter will die soon from cancer. …"
Apr 13
Joe Kelly joined dream moon JO B's group
Apr 13
dream moon JO B commented on dream moon JO B's group why me why us
"stilllasky why  moree loss siness i postedd on hear"
Apr 13
dream moon JO B commented on Anna-Marie's blog post When does the crying stop.
"it can go on/off for yrs it can  do not t not let no 1 tell u way u shud feal or mkee u feal baf bad for grieff or los loss  lst 7 yrs iv go thruu a multii loss of pepplee  evn a cat i had for 16/17 yrss i loss 2  peplee say or…"
Apr 12
dream moon JO B posted a blog post

why do god let wong 1s die or sufferrr

i no iv askt stuff on off l hav for 7 yrs on hear on off sineses iv bean hearwhy duzegot let gooodd gud pepplee suffrwen u get bad pepplee it kill or hyrtt hurtt not suffr 1 bit in lifee suffrr gud peepplee i no suffr coz of god i ask why]wen bad pepllee do bad stuff lk kill rapee  molestr  peppllee go free not be punchessd ty do not i get mad wen i hear kids died peplee it do no harmm 2 no 1 die bad detahtss deathss y thy doSee More
Apr 12

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