JenShep
  • Female
  • Washington, DC
  • United States
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  • TimB
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  • Lost with out him
  • Jon-Paul Ackerman
  • morgan

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JenShep commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"I feel the same way Linda. But, I've had so many experiences that make me pretty sure there is one. I'm afraid to have wasted all of this suffering for nothing. If there is an afterlife/reincarnation, to kill myself now will mean I'll…"
Tuesday

Profile Information

About Me:
43yo, no kids, no pets.
About my Loss:
I lost the love of my life in October, only 5 months after his stage IV pancreatic cancer diagnosis. He was only 41. A young 41. It was my worst fear come to life.

Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 9:28am on January 17, 2018, TimB said…

I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dearly loved wife in December.  She was 40. She had been fighting for nearly 3 years! Fighting hard! While my journey is no more or less painful than yours, I had more time to process what was going on. Perhaps it did me no favors in that you fully believe your going to beat this but in the end she was healed. Not in the way we were all praying for, but healed none-the-less, according to God's plan. I have to understand that I'm not in control. That has been the hardest thing for me to grasp is that I can't fix it, no matter how much I want to. The best doctors and medicines couldn't beat her cancer. I'm devastated but hold on to the hope that God's grace will be sufficient. I wish you all the good things in life! If you ever need to vent, I'll be here. -Tim

At 5:51pm on September 23, 2017, Susan K said…

Hi Jen,

I am very sorry for your loss, I hope you can take each moment at a time and try not to think to much ahead, it just becomes overwhelming. I have not a  sincere laugh or happy moment since I lost my love. You hit the nail on the head when you said, "my worst fear come to life". I lost my husband after a 10 month battle with cancer, he died in February and my life has become a series of uneventful acts, nothing has meaning. I cry everyday and its still the ugly cry! But I can also hear my husband telling me not to give up, he told me before he died that the hardest part of everything was seeing me fall apart, so I try to be strong and enjoy life as we planned. Its hard but some days are less hard. I haven't found anyone but family that understands. I too am have no children and am fairly young 49 ( to be a widow), I do have a dog that has kept me sane, truly if it wasn't for her I would never get out of bed. Although I understand the temptation to end the misery of life, I hope you don't and just give it time. Time isn't a cure for missing your love but in time you may feel that you have something to be here for. As we all on this site can attest to, life changes in a flash...I don't mean to be preachy at all, I just think that we are all put on this earth for a reason and life needs to run its course...There is a good I am totally wrong but it is what gets me through the pain.I wish you peace and love. Sue

At 1:26pm on June 23, 2017, morgan said…

Jenifer. I lost my love to stage IV caner and we had 27 days from diagnosis to death.  He was 63 and in 2 days would have been his 68th birthday.  No kids and one cat who belonged to him and stayed with me afterwards until she too died.  I am a broken shell of a halfway functioning person and it is only on sites like this that I get my most comfort since everyone here understands the depth of what death does to those left behind.  I am so sorry that you have to join us but somehow sharing our misery seems to relieve a certain amount of the load we carry.  One hour at a time.

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Martee posted a status
"Today I have been walking as a lifeless, joyless, husk for 2 weeks and 4 days. My beautiful, loving husband is gone...."
4 minutes ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes it’s almost five and I’m still so very sad "
3 hours ago
Casey commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"it has been almost 6 years (my mom passed away on Feb 18, 2014) since my mom (56-year-old) passed way, it still feels like yesterday..I can't believe it..anyone here whos still here after all these years?"
3 hours ago
Profile IconMartee, Jerry Jenkins, Ann and 1 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
4 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett, I am looking for the same light at the end of the tunnel.  I feel the same way about my dog he is a Labrador and its so so difficult to see him limp or have a bad day, he takes meds, I just want him to be comfortable.  I say to…"
7 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda, I rely on my faith so much, but I realized a long time ago that there won't be a magic moment where an angel comes down and tells me that everything will be okay. I'm not criticizing God. I just realize that this is something that…"
12 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I'm having a lot of trouble getting Krissy to eat. She has diabetes and she has a very limited diet as it is. She can only eat prescription dog food. I switched to the wet version and she was eating up, and now it's the same as before. My…"
12 hours ago
Katherine A Pericas Geersten replied to Katherine A Pericas Geersten's discussion Hello, a little bit about me.
"Thank you Mrs. Crawford, it means a lot to be hearing from someone else who understands. "
15 hours ago
Kimberly joined Karen's group
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
22 hours ago
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett yes as horrible as it is for us both our dogs have aged almost 5 years since our moms died I’m having a really hard time with it I’m thinking that I might need counseling my boy is going to be 13 he still gets around but I know…"
23 hours ago
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda, so much of what you said is so familiar with me. I haven't been able to take a nap since my mom died four years ago. Once, while my mom was still alive and on Hospice, I laid down for a second. I fell asleep and I was having a sweet…"
yesterday
Kimberly posted photos
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda. I know exactly how you feel.  This is how time changed things for me, as time went the thoughts seem to have become more acceptable but missing her still remains. And I cry.  Probably to much   "
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brenda.   I am terribly anxious every day.  I try to have faith in God to get me through whatever I am dealing with.  I have a dog who is goi g to be 13 in April and all I do is worry about him. My last dog I had my mom to lean on and…"
yesterday
M Adams commented on M Adams's blog post A Stoic Response to Grief (from The Daily Stoic)
"I really relate to certain parts of this Stoicism commentary, especially the last quotation and the final four paragraphs that come after it.  Today I am struggling to write a letter of condolence to a longtime family friend who recently lost…"
yesterday
Teresa D. commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Support is always here when you need it. Hugs to all."
yesterday
Ammy commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Thank you Josephine.  I agree that we need to be able to laugh, but it usually takes time for that to start.  I honestly feel good when I can laugh at something or with someone.  It's like a medicine, but it took time for me to…"
yesterday
Josephine Crawford commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
"Teresa, Ammy and Sue, I understand and share your pain. Yes, I too feel like a different version of myself and going forward has been a struggle. Ladies, they would have wanted us to be happy. I sometimes feel guilty when I find myself laughing.…"
yesterday
M Adams posted a blog post

A Stoic Response to Grief (from The Daily Stoic)

A Stoic Response to Grief“It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it. For if it has withdrawn, being merely beguiled by pleasures and preoccupations, it starts up again and from its very respite gains force to savage us. But the grief that has been conquered by reason is calmed for ever. I am not therefore going to prescribe for you those remedies which I know many people have used, that you divert or cheer yourself by a long or pleasant journey abroad, or spend a lot of time…See More
yesterday
Danyel Cox-Tysk joined Deborah K.L.W. Dunham's group
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Miscarriage

I am starting this group because I have experienced 2 losses and now have to accept not having children at all. I am still working through this but have an added benefit of almost completing my Masters degree in counseling.See More
yesterday

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