"I haven't posted in a while but I'm still in the same boat I was last time I posted and to come back here and read others' posts that sound so much like what I'm still going through is a bit of a comfort.
Joe, like you I…"
"bluebird, that's the perfect answer and exactly what I'd want. I think about this all the time. I also think of how hard it would be to have him back for 5 minutes and then to have to lose him again if I wasn't able to follow him. For…"
"Morgan, Yes! I keep thinking I’ll find my reason for still existing but it eludes me. And without reason, what is the point of anything? And the exhaustion... it’s worse now than it ever was. I feel like I’m walking through water…"
i have spoken to two different mediums. Both were recommended to me by the same person but I will say this person was much less of a skeptic than I am. Both readings were a let down. The first one was just awful. Nothing she said hit on…"
"Same here. I’ve been wondering what it is about me that makes me this way. Just out of curiosity, would some of you share your astrological signs? I’m a Capricorn and it’s one of the most loyal signs in the zodiac. I have wondered…"
"Alice, I totally understand what you’re expressing and I feel the same way although my certainty waxes and wanes. Sometimes I feel so good because I know he’s right here with me and sometimes I can’t feel it and sink back down into…"
Yup, yup, yup. I know I shouldn't compare with other people's losses but I do think this is the worst. We lose our biggest love and we lose in all parts of life too. We eat dinner alone. We go to bed alone. We don't have…"
"Alice, Thank you so much. Your comment did a lot for me - it made me feel really good! I've had so many times where I'm convinced that Tom is with me. I heard his voice for the first time in a year and a half just a few weeks ago.…"
The only thing that keeps me here is thinking about how much my mom would suffer if I were gone AND the idea that I would have to come back in a next life and go through this again. I can't imagine having to do this again in another…"
"Linda and Morgan, I feel the same as you both. Every night I state my intention that I will die (an easy death hopefully since Tom's was so horrific) and be with Tom and that we will go on a great adventure together and never have to be apart…"
Thanks so much for your note. I am so sorry to hear about your wife. I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to write back to you sooner. I wonder how you are doing? Only a month since you lost your wife... I remember a numbness that…"
I'm sorry for your loss. I lost my dearly loved wife in December. She was 40. She had been fighting for nearly 3 years! Fighting hard! While my journey is no more or less painful than yours, I had more time to process what was going on. Perhaps it did me no favors in that you fully believe your going to beat this but in the end she was healed. Not in the way we were all praying for, but healed none-the-less, according to God's plan. I have to understand that I'm not in control. That has been the hardest thing for me to grasp is that I can't fix it, no matter how much I want to. The best doctors and medicines couldn't beat her cancer. I'm devastated but hold on to the hope that God's grace will be sufficient. I wish you all the good things in life! If you ever need to vent, I'll be here. -Tim
I am very sorry for your loss, I hope you can take each moment at a time and try not to think to much ahead, it just becomes overwhelming. I have not a sincere laugh or happy moment since I lost my love. You hit the nail on the head when you said, "my worst fear come to life". I lost my husband after a 10 month battle with cancer, he died in February and my life has become a series of uneventful acts, nothing has meaning. I cry everyday and its still the ugly cry! But I can also hear my husband telling me not to give up, he told me before he died that the hardest part of everything was seeing me fall apart, so I try to be strong and enjoy life as we planned. Its hard but some days are less hard. I haven't found anyone but family that understands. I too am have no children and am fairly young 49 ( to be a widow), I do have a dog that has kept me sane, truly if it wasn't for her I would never get out of bed. Although I understand the temptation to end the misery of life, I hope you don't and just give it time. Time isn't a cure for missing your love but in time you may feel that you have something to be here for. As we all on this site can attest to, life changes in a flash...I don't mean to be preachy at all, I just think that we are all put on this earth for a reason and life needs to run its course...There is a good I am totally wrong but it is what gets me through the pain.I wish you peace and love. Sue
Hello Jen, it was wonderful to read about your love's vibration visit, and it warmed my heart. Sometimes I think grief is only this hard because we are trying to live in a world that believes our loves are absent, whereas the reality is that they are not gone at all, but just in a different state. It is our fight against that reality that makes us suffer mentally. That's my idea. In any case I know my love is with me for various reasons including signs and communication... and just "deep knowing". If only I could hold onto that understanding in the face of this physical world and all the people in it who would not believe me. With love to you.
Jenifer. I lost my love to stage IV caner and we had 27 days from diagnosis to death. He was 63 and in 2 days would have been his 68th birthday. No kids and one cat who belonged to him and stayed with me afterwards until she too died. I am a broken shell of a halfway functioning person and it is only on sites like this that I get my most comfort since everyone here understands the depth of what death does to those left behind. I am so sorry that you have to join us but somehow sharing our misery seems to relieve a certain amount of the load we carry. One hour at a time.
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Welcome to Online Grief Support - A Social Community
"Hi Pamela, I can understand your situation as you aretorn between two worlds. Your daughter in her own way is trying to help you with your grieving process. She thinks that her way is the only way through your grief. It is also a confrontation you…"
Your words give me hope that I will be with my mom someday. This is enough motivation to live.
Virginia, sometimes we do feel that God has done lot of injustice to us but if you look around there are people who suffer lot more than…"
"Virginia, do you think I feel any joy right now? I don't. But I think about how much my mom loved me and how much it would hurt her if i harmed myself. She could not have led a happy life if she knew that was in my future. She would have held…"
I always feel a spiritual kinship with what you write. You were the first person here who when I started reading who was honest and told it like it was. That hasn't changed and I truly believe that if anyone outside…"
I may not be the best person to respond because U can get kind of feisty `but i am going to anyhow. I will be at six years in January. I have pictures of my husband all over my house. I am still slowly going through boxes I…"
Whats the point of living if there’s no happiness? If you don’t care about anything except being with the person you lost...if everything is meaningless...if you can’t stand the pain or the numbness...if you don’t belong anywhere..if everything feels wrong...if you have no idea what to do about it...if you can’t get through the daySee More
I have been very stressed and upset my daughter came back to my house for a while until she and her family gets on their feet which is not the problem the problem is she has made me get all the things that are important to me out of the house and put in the garage pictures mementos etc. because she thinks that I need to move on she said because it has been three years and she does not understand how she is upsetting me I don't want to be in this house like this anymore how do I make her…See More
"Hi everyone Scotishbrat here. We had our 1st snowfall Thursday. If Ron was here we would be out making a snowman laughing and throwing snowballs at each other.We did everything together.When he passedl felt so lost I still do its like half of me is…"
"Joe & Bluebird,
Thanks for sharing you thoughts mine are exactly the same. I hate that I have to go on in this world. I have friends that our dying of cancer, I would trade places with them if I could. To endure my feelings I drink at least 6…"
"Virginia, you so often end your posts with something ominous. You are trying to say something and it is coming across loud and clear. Don't wish yourself dead. Try to live while you're alive. Find joy where you can. Never give up."
"Some songs have popped into my head for no reason but that are appropriate. I don’t even listen to the radio anymore so it’s not like I heard them recently. I wasn’t trying to think of songs either. First it was I…"
"I love the Doors. Jim Morrison is just the coolest. And I love that song. It's about feeling alone in a crowd. I can relate.
Virginia, why would God tell you that you deserve to be alone? I think it is quite the opposite. You are telling…"
"Hello Scottishbrat. I just passed the 4 year mark of losing my husband. With him I felt complete. Now I just seem to be in limbo. I don't remember what hobbies I used to enjoy. My life had been taking care of him and the 2 wonderful…"
"Hi my name is scotishbrat this will be my 3rd holiday season with out my love.It is so hard to do anything.l have crying spells that are so intense it feels like l am going to die.Once l stary it could go on for hours and then l feel completely…"
"That is a lot of shit to deal with, all at once. It's good your sister is ok now.
If the man who you feel is your best friend and the love of your life were to come back now, do you think you would be ready to be with him now?"
As usual, I identify so much with your post.
As you said, by burying our soulmates we buried ourselves. Why can't people understand that? If I had a child with my husband, I would feel some pull to live for that child. I felt that…"