Felicia
  • Female
  • Fort Smith, AR
  • United States
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  • Kris Baclawski

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About Me:
I am 48 yrs old. I work as a nurses aide. I am a JW. I am a nature enthusiast and I love animals and have rescued and rehomed many. I am a caregiver both on the job, and at home, 24/7.
About my Loss:
I have lost my mother, who was everything to me, and my father--both of them in the past five years. I have one child, who I have lost in a different way. My husband recently became very ill and is now disabled. My little dog, who is like my child, is also dying of heart disease. My best friend is dying with cancer. I have also lost both my mother in law and father in law just in the last two years

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Felicia's Blog

So Ready To Go

 I said I'd be wearing black by the end of the week, and I am.  I lost a best friend yesterday around noon.  The doctors couldn't do anymore to help her. So I sat next to her as she took her last breaths and told her how much I love her.  Told her what a good friend she was to me.  She died while I was talking to her.  I am so devastated this morning.  I am so physically and emotionally ill. My blood pressure went sky high last night, and I don't evn have high blood pressure, normally.  I…

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Posted on May 22, 2016 at 10:22am — 2 Comments

Wearing Black

This is turning out to be one of the worst weeks of my life! For a very very brief moment , recently, I thought maybe things were a bit on the "upswing". I felt a lttle better. But then ...the bottom dropped out of everything! My best friend who is sick with a terminal illness is losing the battle. Another friend of mine ended up in the hospital in a coma. The doctors don't even know why! They are going to do a biopsy of his brain to try to find the reason. He is also in critical condition.…

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Posted on May 16, 2016 at 8:48pm — 1 Comment

I Don't Fit In...

I recently joined a popular social media group. I thought maybe reconnecting with family and friends would help...it didn't, I mean, it was kinda nice at first, but then I began to realize how different I am compared to the rest of them. They happily share recipes and cute-sy cartoons, which of course, there's nothing wrong with that. Shared a few myself, but...that's not how I really feel inside. If I posted what I really felt, I would probably have people avoiding my site. My grief is just…

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Posted on May 7, 2016 at 2:28pm — 4 Comments

Over

I feel so hopelessly broken today. I put on my ",normal" face today and went to work. I talked to people even laughed, but inside I was screaming "Can't you see I need help? I'm dying here!". Of course, those were only words heard within. Only one person that I work with, an alarmingly intuitive soul, HEARD my voice on the phone and knew something wasn't right. Knew that wasn't me. Knew I had been crying, but didn't want to come out and ask. So she posed another question, " Have you got a…

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Posted on April 27, 2016 at 9:41pm — 4 Comments

Comment Wall (13 comments)

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At 12:19am on July 25, 2016, Sandrw Mentiply said…

Good evening  Felicia how things are getting better for you.Sorry I haven't been on here in awhile.If you need someone to talk to any time am here for you.some times it helps to talk to another person and you will feel better am a good listeren.

At 9:45am on May 19, 2016, dream moon JO B said…

wev no wear 2 run coz of loss its why i says im in prison loss i am loket up in loss so unfair

At 6:02pm on March 10, 2016, Paula Marie said…

I'm new here and just noticed your response, sorry it took so long - it's taking a long time to make the quilt, too! But it's very meditative, as I use everything that belonged to her and am hand sewing on her buttons, lace, jewelry, over the patchwork made of her clothes. Will likely take me years to finish, as I've never made a quilt before, but when I work on it, I feel closer to her, and yes, swear I can still smell the distinct smell of Wriggleys' spearmint gum (her purse smelled minty like spearmint gum for about as long as I can remember)!

At 9:46pm on March 5, 2016, Alin Tooby said…
Dear Felicia,
I hope this message finds you well. Thank you for thinking of me and asking about my mother. Sadly I must report that she passed away a couple days ago on the 3rd. She was so very sad about the loss of my father 6 months ago that she had just stopped eating and taking care of her diabetes. She died at the exact time that my father did at 10 AM. I am trying to find comfort in the possibility that they have been reunited and she is once happy again. I have been looking for a duet and violinist go play her favorite song "stairway to Heaven" at her funeral as my final mother's day gift to her. Anyways, thanks again for thinking of us. How have you been holding up? You seem to be such a strong and courageous woman. I admire you greatly and appreciate your kind soul.
With much love,
Alin M.
At 10:44am on March 3, 2016, dream moon JO B said…

thnx felicia its bean lk a hell hol 2 day u cu say 

At 5:02pm on February 29, 2016, Janet said…
You were kind enough to take the time to read my blog Felicia. I have now read yours ...god love you hunni. I always think God gives his toughest soilders the hardest crosses to bear I hope you have a good support network to talk and be "yourself" with by that I mean not just the fair weathered type who are only there when life is good the ones you can have a cry or vent a bit of anger too. No judgement comes from anyone here who has suffered great loss. God give you strength you are an amazing lady dont forget that.
At 10:12am on February 24, 2016, Kristi said…

Hi Felicia,

You beautiful sentiment couldnt have come at a better time. I just happened to open my computer this morning  and check this site as i was having a most difficult night last night and morning. Im alone with my thoughts and that is always bad as you know. I suffer from Rhumatoid Arthritis and MS and Im on Chemo ...Im 45 and disabled so I typically have alot of time to think sadly. Im very faithful to God and my Angels. Feeling lost and empty and almost a sense of disbelief as i took care of her for a year before she passed. this was just so sudden. She was so young. Again, Thank you xo God Bless

At 10:17am on January 24, 2016, charity wolf said…

yes we do need to stick together. I haven't been able to find women in person to connect to. I long for that too. take sweet care ....hug

At 12:24am on January 23, 2016, dream moon JO B said…

thnx

At 6:30am on January 20, 2016, Diane said…
Not sure if the other message went out. But thank you. Every minute of every day I miss my mom, I cry so much. All I do when I com home from work I sit in her chair and cover myself up with her blankets. I will near wash them, they have her scent. I pray I can be with her..
 
 
 

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