Linda Engberg
  • Female
  • Elkton, FL
  • United States
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Linda Engberg's Friends

  • Joe Kelly
  • Virginia G
  • Marjorie Willcox
  • Joy
  • irina s
  • M Adams
  • Mary Adkins MacKinnon
  • Louise
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  • Vanessa Stinnitt
  • Lauri
  • Michael Thompson
  • Marita
  • morgan
  • bluebird

Linda Engberg's Groups

Linda Engberg's Discussions

Has anyone on the site use alcoholic to cope with Grief.
10 Replies

I would like to know if I am the only one on this site who uses alcoholic to cope with spouse's death.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Feb 23, 2018.

Christmas mean nothing to me.
3 Replies

This will be my 5th Christmas without my beloved husband Julian, the pain in my heart will never let me enjoy life again.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Dec 23, 2017.

Holidays Again
1 Reply

Well, here goes year 5 without my Husband, I can't stand this time of year it means nothing to me.Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by bluebird Dec 2, 2017.

Holidays Again
4 Replies

It is that time of year again that we all wish we could sleep through. It has been 5 years without my Husband I was always told things get better with time. Each year that goes by it is worse. Just…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Linda Engberg Nov 22, 2017.

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Linda Engberg's Page

Latest Activity

Linda Engberg and M Adams are now friends
Jul 12
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Hi M Adams, Thank you for your kindness. Each year on his birthday I plant a tree or bush in his memory. Yesterday I bought this plague for my garden."
Jul 11
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Today is Julian's birthday. I miss him so much Thanks for your post Morgan. You put into words what I have a hard time expressing."
Jul 10
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"JO, I read this each morning but it does not help. I just struggle through each day."
Jul 9
Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Michael, After 7 years I still remain lost and I know I will be until my Husband and I are together once again. As in the Serenity Prayer, God can not grant me serenity to accept things I cannot change. I just try to live each day."
Jul 8
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Jul 7
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John So sorry about your Sister. I myself spent the 4th with my sweet dog Babie J. I prefer her company to humans. She does not judge me she just loves me for what I am.  I too believe that death does not do us part. We we love each other until…"
Jul 7
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"John & Morgan, I am so sorry for another loss for both of you. When my Husband passed he had hospice and the care was wonderful. He was treated at our home when he died. The Nurses will just wonderful.  I am also lucky to have a great…"
Jun 27
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thanks Nancy, I am sure everyone in our group can relate."
Jun 24
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
Jun 23
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Dear Morgan & Trina, Both of your posts mirror my thoughts exactly. I thank God we have this website helping us support one another. We are the only ones who know how much we are all suffering from losing our spouses. Each day we have to go on…"
Jun 20
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Happy Father's Day to my Husband Julian in Heaven. I miss you so much."
Jun 16
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"No matter how we express our thoughts, we are all in the same boat together. We just keep waiting for it to sink so we can join our loved ones."
Jun 15
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello M Adams Joe explained in his post of how I feel. I am not good with words on explaining things but Joe you said it perfectly. I just want to thank everyone here for sharing their thoughts, as we are all in the same boat together."
Jun 15
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hi Morgan, Like you mentioned in your post, there is no normal in my life. I just take each day as it comes and just wait for death. I can accept that Julian is gone but not being able to change it is my whole problem."
Jun 14
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Hello Everyone, Thank You all for sharing your thoughts. I just can't thank everyone enough. This is the only place I can talk with people who really understand how I feel. I know that the rest of the world does not understand what we are going…"
Jun 10

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About my Loss:
My Husband for 34 years.

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Comment Wall (10 comments)

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At 3:18pm on April 10, 2018, DeeDee said…

Thanks Linda for your kind words. God bless you xo 

Dee-Dee 

At 7:34am on January 28, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Hello Linda I don't know if I've done the right thing buying a puppy she isn't house trained yet. I think you've got a dog. Does it help? I thought it would help the loneliness but in a way your more tied.I can't believe I have to live the rest of my life without my husband 

Marjorie

At 1:15am on January 27, 2018, morgan said…

Majorie,  Anywhere beyond about six months to two years depending on who you ask or what you read and still experiencing grief from the loss of your spouse is supposedly experiencing "complicated grief".  Like Linda and Bluebird and few of us who are still aging here on this site I too just passed the five year mark and yes, if thats what they want to call it, I too have complicated grief.  But I look at it in a different way.  

There are many things I could say but I'll be brief because its late here and I am tired.  You don't really get over it, you just endure it better.  Thats it.  Endurance.  Time will have sway with you and will change the ways you grieve but after five years I still have breakdowns regularly and I now know that they will never stop.  I don't pay a psychotherapist but I have one friend who I call my therapist.  MY husband actually asked him to watch over me if something happened to him as my husband was a diabetic and was getting sicker.  It was almost like he knew.  Our friend has kept that promise.  He lives 3000 miles away but we talk pretty much every day sometimes a couple times and he allows me to cry.  He knew my husband well and knew the love we had would never die and he understands I"ll never get over it.  I just turned 66 and I am ready to die.  I am not sure whether I will be able to do it to myself as the pain for the last couple months again has been like the first year but I can only take each day and lots of times just each hour at a time.  I've learned to expect nothing from myself as far as remembering the kind of person I was before.  That has all changed.  

So much else left when my husband did too.  So much of who I was because it was always in relationship to who WE were.  I would never change what I had with him but it is a good thing I didnt know what the pain would be like now.  He never would have been able to stand it and I am not sure how long I will but for now I still breathe.  Just know there are many many others out here that feel the same way just like there are many others who get over the loss and somehow make a different kind of life.  Me, I can't unhook.  I'm with him through and into death and yet still trying to live.  Its a bitch.  Not sure how or when my own time will come but I am more than ready.  
Take care the best you can.  Morgan

At 9:53am on January 26, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Thankyou for your reply Linda. I wake up each morning and it's as though Paul's Death has just happened.  I will never feel right again

At 12:36pm on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda Thankyou so much for replying re complicate grief. I feel just the same my husband and I were one person ( his words) and I know I will never get over losing him. I just wondered how a psychotherapist can help because it says online that it can and you say you feel better every year. Linda I just don't know how long we can go on with the pain.

At 2:28am on January 25, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda how did you find a psychotherapist to help you with your complicate grief

? What do they do? in your reply to Maxy you said it will last till you die!

I am really struggling after losing my husband 17 months ago

Marjorie 

At 7:22am on January 24, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda have you got complicated grief. Does it last forever. 

marjorie

At 11:08am on January 22, 2018, Marjorie Willcox said…

Linda am I right in thinking you have complicated grief ? I feel sure that I have too.

Marjorie

At 3:22pm on August 31, 2017, Joy said…

Linda, I didn't lose a spouse, but I wanted to say how sorry I am for the loss of your husband. You two were (let me correct that) are a very lovely couple and I know you'll be glad to see him again. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I see your posts periodically and my heart goes out to you.

At 4:04pm on July 28, 2017, Fran said…

Linda, so sorry about your dog! When I lost our cat it was like tearing my heart open again!Logically we know we will die, but when an innocent pet has to go thru suffering it seems even worse.

 
 
 

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Latest Activity

Dennis C. replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"Amy, I am so sorry for your loss. The journey of caregiving is extremely difficult. The loss of our especially loved dear ones is unspeakable. There are so many different ideas about what happens to us when we die. Religion teaches many different…"
4 hours ago
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I just feel like I am in a fog.  I have a little dog that is at least ten years old.  She adored my Mom & she has really grieved for her.  I know how you feel about your dog.  I worry about her.  She is all I have. …"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too Brett, I sit here an look at my 12 year old Labrador and I know he is on borrowed time, and my heart breaks, losing him will be something that I am not looking forward to. As you said Brett, we have the live our lives until we are called…"
yesterday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Yes, I was looking at something that popped up on my Yahoo news feed. It was an article naming 106 celebrities who have passed away in 2019. So many names and faces that I remembered. Now they are gone, and they aren't coming back. Their time…"
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Brett so true she was my security blanket I feel like I have no one to lean on that understood me like her You know what keeps coming in my mind. How true it is and scary that everything has a beginning and an end."
yesterday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I hear it all the time you don’t know how lucky you were that your mother wasn’t sick and you didn’t have to take care of her I say to them lucky I was lucky that my mother died and I was not right by her side to tell her I love…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"M, the problem is that our security blankets were ripped away. Like you, sometimes I am glad to be sad. I feel like I am closer to my mom when I am crying. At least, her memory is fresher with me when I am in that zone. I feel like the hard reality…"
Wednesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Theresa, millions, billions of people have lost their moms. Sometimes someone will tell me that they have lost their mom, too, but they were able to deal with it, and they wonder why I haven't dealt with it as well. This may sound like an…"
Wednesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Me too ...I was sitting marking a paper yesterday and suddenly realized that I can’t see or talk to my mother about this or anything else and the tears came.  But I’m glad to think of her, in a way I can be glad to be sad sometimes.…"
Tuesday
Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I sometimes will just be sitting down and I start to cry because I keep thinking I miss my mom so much my whole world is just not the same I think that I’ve become a different person it will be four years and I still cry I can’t put into…"
Tuesday
M Adams commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Definitely a colder world now.  I like the image of the security blanket — like, as we go forward, we will always keep it but eventually may be able to wash it, fold it nicely, and put it in some place of honour close at hand but without…"
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"The world just became a colder place when my mom died. I just remember feeling like all was right with the world when my mom was in the next room. "
Tuesday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is such a traumatic event, especially when you have had a wonderful Mom.  It is so hard knowing she is gone.  Knowing this is permanent.  There is no one that can fill the void she left.  My brother was close to Mom, but he…"
Tuesday
Cherie is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Tuesday
Amy replied to Amy's discussion How do I get unstuck?
"I am not a believer and nor was he. We covered the bases just incase though. We were both raised Catholic. That is all besides the point though. "
Tuesday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"While I never forget that my mom is gone, for some reason it just hits me over the head sometimes. Just out of the blue I'll be like, "Mom is gone." It's horrible. It's ever present. And the thing is that it is always with…"
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"My Mom also.  I could always talk to her about anything & knew she was someone I could totally trust.  I am constantly thinking of something I want to share with her & then I remember she is gone.  I loved spending time with…"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"There is no doubt that it is anxiety. In fact, I think we are experiencing fight or flight. Since birth my mom had been my security blanket."
Monday
Sue Toler commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"It is still numbing to think my Mom is gone & I can't talk to her or see her again.  I lost part of me when she passed.  Someone said the restless feelings I have are really anxiety.  Daily crying is part of my life. …"
Monday
Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"I would rather cry on the outside than on the inside. Crying on the outside is a release. I am really tired of being sad. I'm also tired of being scared. Life without my mom still seems like a scary proposition. All we can do is to continue to…"
Monday

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