I got Ariel's ashes scattered on her birthday, October 25th.  At first I thought it'd be just one place where that'd get done, but three others came to mind and kept coming up.  One was the spot where we'd renewed our vows on our 10-year wedding anniversary.  Another was the area in the back yard where we'd buried a lot of the pets we'd had over the years.  A third...well....that was her place.  Those all went OK.  It was sad, but at the same time I could also connect with the good memories…

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A friend had mentioned this, but I hadn't realized how true it was until today. My friend came out to visit a couple weeks ago, and commented on how most places we went I seemed to have some association with Ariel.  She said it'd probably do me some good to get away, to re-set my connections with the world around me.  I didn't think much of it at the time.  It hadn't seemed to affect me all that much before.  Today, however, I took my new camera to a park to test it out some more.  It's a…

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I noticed I haven't posted anything here in awhile, so figured I'd at least put something up...



I got a cremation jewelry necklace ordered today.  It's a titanium cylinder that'll hold a little bit of Ariel's ashes in it.  I'd been thinking I wanted to keep some of her ashes, though most will be getting scattered.  Nothing I had here seemed like it'd do the job.  A friend told me that cremation jewelry's gotten more popular, I guess as cremation's gotten more popular in the last… Continue

One of the things that'd bothered me a fair amount in the last while was hearing people say, "you're so strong!"  They seem surprised that I'm still getting up in the morning, going to work, getting my bills (eventually) paid, and so on.  The initial reaction was always wanting to scream back, 'Are you NUTS???  Do you have any idea what this all FEELS like?  How in the Hell can you think I'm strong when I'm still so hurt and confused and lost so much of the time?!!"  I certainly don't feel…

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