I'm a wife, mother, and grandmother. I am also a therapist, but that isn't my reason for being here. Mostly, I'm a deeply grieving mother.
About my Loss:
My 41 year old son passed away suddenly while on a Caribbean cruise on March 21, 2013. He and his wife were celebrating their 9th wedding anniversary. Chris died in international waters and his body was taken to a funeral home in St. Maarten, where he was cremated before being flown back to the USA. I never got to see him one last time to say goodbye.
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Thank you Michelle. I am sorry for your loss as well. I appreciate the support from you and all who are here. I lost my son Tim on 9/5/17. He was 20 years old. I wake up each morning, not knowing how I am going to get through each day.
Thank you Michelle. I have had a really hard time of it.... I'm sure like all parents of deceased children. It's such a sad and lonely road to travel and I hate it! It's like so many country roads ROUGH!!!!
"Thank you very much Michelle H. I really appreciate and I am new on this site had lost my daughter this year on the 5th of January. I am also sorry for your loss.Needed to speak to grieving mothers cause it's really hard for to accept
dear Michelle, I hope you're well. I know the holidays are very hard to deal with. Everyone has their way of dealing with a loved ones passing. mine. Is talking to my son Scott as though he is here with me. I don't want to sound like a crazy lady but it helps me. I don't have long drawn out conversations but I do include him in some things I do from time to time. although it has only been eleven months since his passing I have come to realize he is gone and I must deal with it for my own sanity. I do believe in the hear after so I do think Scott can see and hear me. Of. Purse there are no guarantees but it helps me from falling apart all the time. Maybe you feel as I do. we have to hold ourselves together some how. Please take care of yourself.
A friend, Charlotte Finklea
Thank you, Michelle. I am preparing to have a meeting with the San Diego Lifeguards and the press. One channel was very kind and called me to ask me about my son, then reported what a great kid he was, that he was loved and cherished by his family, that he worked 2 jobs and went to school in a sincere effort to provide for his 7 month old daughter, and that he is survived by four little brothers. Every other local channel couldn't have cared less, and the San Diego Lifeguard spokesman is definitely on my radar. My best friend was at the beach when they found Brian, and she made it very clear to him that what he was doing was wrong and painful, but he is just so excited to have the cameras on him, he didn't care. I have every intention of having a meeting with him and his boss to let them know exactly how much they hurt my family with their lies and lack of compassion. I'm so sorry that any of us have to belong to this club -- I read elsewhere that the Bereaved Mother's Club is one that all women avoid because the dues are much too high. I'd give everything I have (that is not living), even give my own life, if I could bring him back. I'm old, I lived my life and had the opportunity to raise my children, while his life was just beginning. It is just so incredibly wrong.
i know you said you don’t like meds, but maybe one of the natural supplements for anxiety could lessen the meltdowns? Just a suggestion. I’m the opposite, don’t know why I’m not having constant breakdowns,…"
thanks for the comment on my blog. I read a few of your posts and I have the same desire to get out of here as soon as possible. I’m only 47 and there’s no way I can wait until I’m old. I’m afraid if…"
"Virginia, while I don't know you, I don know this... your mom knew that you loved/love her. And there is a cold reality in all of this. No matter how hard I tried, my mom still died. There was no stopping it. It was like trying to hold back a…"
As I read your blog, I cried and cried. It’s all too familiar and all too heartbreaking. My Mom and I did everything together. I always lived with both parents, but my Dad was always the quiet type that liked to do…"
"Crystal, there is no timeline. I understand all that you are saying. After moving out of my mom's house, I had to go back. My realtor called me back there frequently. I had little choice. It was hard. I did cry, but it was not the difference…"
"Virginia, We ask ourselves alot of questions when we suffer such a great loss as a loved one. All of your questions I have asked myself over and over as I have tried to live beyond the loss of my husband. I've not answered them…"
"It is so hard. My sister whose husband passed away April 9th 2018 does not want to see me right now because I remind her of Mom's passing a year ago Feb 14th. She does not do it to be mean or hurtful. She is just too full of grief for her…"
"Crystal. You have to do those things in memory of your mom should would want you to do it I truly believe that I’m not saying that I don’t cry every day because I do I get in bed at night I cry when I’m sitting home alone I…"
"In 3 months, it will be a year since my mom passed away. It feels like it was yesterday. I know I asked this before but when does it get easier to do activities that you and your mother did together? I cant bring myself to do anything that reminds…"
"Hello Virginia, I’m so sorry you are going through this hell. PTSD has been part of my grieving process too. I think that when we lose someone who is absolutely essential to us, our brains don’t have the ability to adjust to the changed…"
I am experiencing post traumatic stress disorder. Some days I cry a lot, others not much. I get upset when I don’t cry. I feel as if I should be crying all day every day because the thing I feared the most my whole life happened. How have I not had ten heart attacks by now? Some days I have bad flashbacks of the hospital. Other days I feel like I can’t process what happened. Is my mind blocking what happened to protect me from the pain? Sometimes I feel like I’m losing my mind. Am I…See More
Today is 2 months since I lost my only daughter to cancer and to me being reminded in some way of what used to be is a hard one for me. She was my best friend, we talked quite often and I visited on occasion. When friends talk about their adult daughters it brings to light the realization that I once had that and I don't anymore and the tears come. I guess when I'm not reminded,I want to still think she is here,only a phone call away. Already many things have changed, we used to talk on the…See More
While grocery shopping I noted a man sitting waiting for his wife as I surmised, my husband used to do wait patiently for me. It hit me hard that I no longer had anyone waiting for me. So alone after 36 years.......See More
"Ah, Morgan. And Bluebird and Linda and Mel and Alice and all you others who let me walk with you from cave to cave during these dreadful years of an examined life. I'm so tired I can't even write lately; our old friends, where are they...…"