Jordan,
Very sorry to hear about your brother.
My wife battled Hydrocordone addiction.
There was trouble when she got prescribed a bottle of cough suppressant with codeine. She died of drug toxicity.
I had no idea that our bodies metabolize codeine into morphine, and it can build up in your system and cause an overdose.
Just wanted to drop a line and once again very truly sorry.
It is a good thing that we all have each other and our stories on this site!
May life bring all of the best to you.
Michael

Hi Jordan, its been awhile, but you have been on my mind, and I just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and praying that things are going okay with you.  It will never be the same, but God heals us in His time.  Blessings, Ann

Hi Jordan

Doing okay I guess. How about you?

How have you been doing?  I haven't been on in awhile, but I have been thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers.  How is the family doing?  I know it's still very new for you and it can be so hard, but it  will gradually get a little easier.  I don't believe we ever get completely over it, but with the help of the Lord we will be able to go on.  I just know that I'm exhausted.  I'm not sleeping well, but it will get better.  Still just taking one day at a time and that's how we should live anyway.  

I don't understand why these doctors aren't held responsible for prescribing all these strong pain medications when it's not necessary.  I just read about your brother Lyle again to refresh my memory.  If he wanted Loratab, why give him something so potent.  My son's doctor did the same thing to him.  He was waiting for the insurance to authorize injections for his knees and asked the doctor for hydrocodone (which is pretty strong).  He said he could manage with a couple a day, but the doctor asked him if he wanted to try a pain patch.  My son told him no, but the next visit the doctor talked him into it.  I didn't think to check what it was.  We think we can trust our doctors.  found out later that it's 5 to 8 times stronger than morphine.  What the heck are they thinking???

Anyway, I didn't mean to start rambling on.  I just wanted to say "hi" and let you know that I do think of you and remember you in my prayers. 

God's blessings to you & yours,

Ann 

I really hope it gets easier to trust that God knows what's going on and is still in control. I kmow how hard that is too. As for having a changed outlook on heaven I want you to know I also have a new outlook. I know Shawn is there with lots of my family and death is not as scary to me anymore. I know there is a reason Shawn is there. I just have to trust that God is in control. I agree with you that it's hard to deal with his loss, but I know where he is and the way this world is we will all be there with them very soon.

I completely understand how hard it is to not know what they are doing and how they feel. I can only imagine the look on Shawns face. I'm not sure he expected to be there. When my kids were young, I went to a home Bibe study. Later that Bible study turned into a cult and the strange thing is I didn't know it until I was in too deep. My children knew all along, and they were damaged by the lady minister. They had made their commitments to God, but not to the church. A lot of things happened that shouldn't have. My two sons we turned off to church, but not God. I could talk about Him and they were fine. But church was not ok. Shawn's commitment was very real. He came to me and said he didn't want to go to hell. He cried for 3 4ays and would only sleep with the Bible open to the picture of Jesus and the children. I called our pastor to come and talk to him and he did. He talked to Shawn then came to us and said he thought he was ready. On the next Sunday at church he went forward to accept Jesus. Years later I prayed God would intervene and I felt He told me to stop praying and start thanking that he was saved. I started to thank God, thinking He would intervene in faith. When Shawn passed, I was confused and wondered why God didn't intervene. Then I felt God telling me it wasn't necessary to do anything because he had accepted Jeses at 7 years old. He didn't need to do it again as an adult. So I know where he is. My daughter and family are involved in church, but my younger son is not, and has really been angry since Shawn passed, but he ived with Shawn for many years and feels abandoned. He also thinks everyone owes him. So it is a little difficult to deal with. Sorry this turned into a book. You and I could be great friends..

I raised my children in that faith and I know for a fact where Shawn is.  My Mother and Grandmother and Aunts and Uncles and Father are all there with Shawn.  Don't get me wrong, Shawn was not a saint, but he made a confession of his faith at the age of 7 and I know it was a real experience.  He had asked the Lord into his life and so have my other children. Not that they all have lived the Christian life. But we believe if you ever choose Jesus as your savior nothing can take that away from you..  Again, I hope you don't mind my talking about this for this is where my faith is that I will see him again in eternity. Life here is short, but there it's eternal.   I am praying for you to receive peace in your heart and realize that Lloyd is no longer in pain.  I know that doesn't make it all better but it does give us hope.   Peggy

Hi Jordan, I can certainly understand why you are angry.  We had some things like this with Shawn.  About 2 weeks before he passed he woke up feeling like he was dying.  He said he woke his brother and Matt took him to the VA.  They told him it was a panic attack, but that his blood pressure was really high.  They told him the next time he came in like that they were going to put him in the cardiac lab.  My question is why did they wait til next time.  He had a massive coronary. That is what he died of. 

I understand pain. Shawn had 18 years of horrendous phantom pain.  My daughter was reading a book about a man that had fallen 3 stories and tore up his neck. He described pin in different ways. He had one called the the stone in the shoe.  It was an annoying pain. Another was the Cabin Fever pain which is when you can't get away from the pain.  Shawn talked like he had the Cabin Fever pain. It is not possible to get away from the pain, because it is always with him.

I can see where his Dr. didn't do the right thing and then said he would double the dosage if that didn't work. I truly don't understand why Dr.s are like that.  It is a shame that Lloyd couldn't have his surgery.  Shawn was in the process of having a medical lead implanted in his back that was supposed to change the pain into a tingle, but it didn't do that at all. They said the leads slipped and that is why it wouldn't work.  He was about to have Carpal Tunnel on both hands again.  He used his hands for walking an getting around. He was also going to have the leads replaced. As it stands now, he is not in pain anymore and if I could bring him back, I wouldn't because that would be selfish to bring him back to the pain.  Do I miss him?  The answer is absolutely. But I know that someday I will see him again in heaven because that is where I plan to go, I already have my ticket and that is I trust Jesus as my savior.  I hope I don't upset you with my faith.

Thank You Jordan, I can see where there would be resemblences. Shawn also wanted to do things he could before.  And he just about could.  He held down a job for 5 years as a welder and machinist.  One of the things that happened as a result of his accident was he contracted Hep C from the blood that was used to save his life. It was the winter before they started to test for hep c, and lucky Shawn, got it.  It was hard for him the last few years, because the treatment for hep c  is similar to Chemo and must be taken for a long period of time.  The side affects were like having the flu for the whole time.He had a hard time of deciding when to take the treatment because he was always on the go whenever he could. He once told me that he could do anything anyone else could, and I have seen him accomplish so much. The one thing he never did was get his drivers liscense back. The accident was a car wreck where his firebird tried to fly and hit a tree, removing his feet on site. So he never drove a car again, but give him a riding lawnmower, and he was in heaven .  Even 4wheelers. He went hunting with his brother every year.

I am praying for you and hoping for healing.  Did your brother suffer a lot of pain?  Just know you are not alone.