Diane Grell
  • Minneapolis, MN
  • United States

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About Me:
I am a widow with 4 adult children and 4 grandchildren.
About my Loss:
My husband passed away on 1/6/09 as a result of smoking meth.

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Diane Grell's Blog

Three years in a dark tunnel

Today is the 3rd anniversary of my husband passing away. It feels like the last 3 years I've been stuck in a long dark tunnel unable to move forward or backward. They say "you only die once." But in my mind my husband has died 365 days a year for 3 years. It was to the point I couldn't sleep. The doctor kept upping the dosage of zoloft but there was no relief. 

This year, 2 days before christmas, I had enough. How much stress can a person take?  I lost my husband, I lost my job at the…


Posted on January 6, 2012 at 5:09pm — 2 Comments

Feel dead and lifeless

Since my husband passed away on 1/6/09 I realized the other day, I don't smile, I don't laugh and I sure don't feel. I don't feel happiness. But I can say, when I start to think about him, I feel pain and the tears come and don't want to stop.

I watch tv.and if its supposed to be funny. I don't think it is. I changed everything that I used to do right down to the type of music I listen to.

I feel sometimes, I just don't know how to be me without him.



Posted on June 29, 2011 at 4:49pm

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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I have seven tattoos one for each year Julian has been gone. It is my way of honoring him  People make fun of me saying I am too old (71) to have them. Glad to hear I am not the only one still honoring their spouse after death."
Jan 13
Serenity replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
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Jan 12
Serenity replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
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Jan 12
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Linda.  It's beautiful for you to had done that.  I have tattoo of our names in a heart.  I wear two sets of our wedding bands on both pinkys and ring fingers.  We're still married and always will be forever.…"
Jan 12
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful post. I have a tattoo on my shoulder of both our hands on our wedding day. I added my own words. God be with you."
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Rick Rilloraza left a comment for morgan
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Jan 11
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
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Jan 11
morgan left a comment for Rick Rilloraza
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