Laura Salefski
  • Female
  • Decatur IL
  • United States
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About Me:
I am a 54 year old teacher from Decatur IL. My Huisdand of 18 years died Dec 3 2010 of Melanoma Cancer.
About my Loss:
my husband died Dec.3 2010 from cancer. I am raising our 11 year old grandaughter now without him. It seems like my friends are now afraid of me, like if they say something "wrong" I might break. So they don't say anything at all. In fact, in most cases they are non exsistent.

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At 5:20pm on March 8, 2012, K.T said…

Thanks so much for your comment and prayers Laura. It is reassuring to hear, and I know I am probably over worrying, but I immediately associate the "C" word with death now and after seeing my mother suffer so much the thought of my sister ever having to go through it herself terrifies me.

Thanks again for the comment. Big hugs.

At 12:38am on December 9, 2011, Betsy Arnold said…

Hi Laura,

    I'm so sorry to hear you broke your wrist, among all else you are dealing with. You are in my thoughts and I really do care, too. Godfrey is about 3 hours to the south of Decatur, I think. That would be great to meet one of these days. In the meantime, I'm a good listener if you ever want to talk.

     Things are rough here, too. I miss Dale every day, and have had dreams about him almost every night for the last few weeks. I just finished a research project for one of my music therapy classes and it was about music therapy for caregivers of loved ones in home hospice. Because of what I've been through, it was a very passionate project for me, but if it can help others, then it is very much worth it. If you're interested in reading it, I could email you a copy. It was a "fantasy" research, something we'd like to do if we had unlimited resources, unlimited budget. I presented it in class on Wednesday the 7th, (ironically the 13th anniversary of my father's death) and everyone seemed to like it. I have an audition and interview with an upscale residential facility for Alzheimer/dementia clients in St. Louis. It's 6 months, full time, unpaid. I am praying my finances will hold out long enough. I know Dale is up there cheering me on. He really believed that I was meant to be a music therapist.

Dale's Dad (my former father in-law) died Nov. 20th, and unfortunately because of strained family relationships since Dale's death, (long and very sad story), I didn't go to the funeral or even the visitation. I did send a sympathy card and a note to Dale's Mom. I just felt that I didn't need the extra grief from them and didn't want to bring them any more. Like I said, long and sad story that has completely devastated me...how horrible I've been treated by them.

So sorry to have gotten on that topic. Anyway...with everything plus now the holidays, I know it is very hard for all of us who have lost loved ones. As I said, you are in my thoughts, and I do care, too.

At 8:13am on December 8, 2011, Brenda Ann said…

Laura,

     I am so sorry that it has taken this long to answer your message...  My husband and I were "rear ended" on October 22 and I have really has problems with my back and neck.  This seems to have taken all my energy.  I also have to go to the doctor 3 times per week for therapy etc.

     How are you sleeping?  I noticed that you had been having trouble... is it any better?  You might try taking one Benedryl or a generic.  That is what I have been taking since I to have been having trouble sleeping also.

Another idea - I pray when I can't sleep.  My memory is not so good or I have so many things and people to pray about that I had to make a list.  I added sleep to my "prayer list" and it works too...

What are your plans this month?  How are you doing?  Let me know because I care...

May the God of all comfort wrap his loving arms around you. (2 Thessalonians 2:16-17) "may our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father,...comfort YOUR hearts…”

Brenda

mawmaw1591@gmail.com

At 11:24am on December 1, 2011, Betsy Arnold said…

Hi Laura,

    Thank you for accepting my friend request. I see that you live in Decatur, Illinois...I live just a little south of you in Godfrey, Illinois!

At 2:55pm on November 21, 2011, Brenda Ann said…
Laura, my sister's doctor wants me to get a head to toe check for cancer. I guess I should do it. How are you? Hope your compter is well and stays that way. No matter what happens, God is always a good friend. He listens when we pray and we listen to him when we read the Bible. Pick out scriptures that are encouraging to you and go back to re-read them when you need to be built up. Of course, you can contact me anytime. Do you have any questions that you would like answered from the Bible? Talking about the Bible brings me great happiness. It also helps my family with the sad times.
At 3:34am on November 18, 2011, Melissa Broome said…

hi, Laura I tried messaging you a few times on the chat log. I can't see m to sleep tonite. I'm almost about ready to take something to sleep. I just want to go to sleep tonite so I can stop crying. kwim?

Melissa

At 9:47am on November 16, 2011, Brenda Ann said…

Laura,

I would like to be your friend.  My sister has had 2 melanoma cancers removed from her back, and I don't understand why some skin cancers are deadly and others seem to be cosmetic and are no big worry.  Why is melanoma so different?  It is a terrible enemy.

 

(Proverbs 18:24) "There exist companions disposed to break one another to pieces, but there exists a friend sticking closer than a brother."  (Proverbs 17:17) "A true companion is loving all the time, and is a brother that is born for when there is distress."  Why don't our "friends" understand that we need them now more than ever?  They really don't have to say anything. 

 

(Romans 12:15) . . .Rejoice with people who rejoice; weep with people who weep."  Paul’s counsel in this verse can be summed up in two words: Show empathy.  I wish I could conduct a “Friends” class so people would learn what “REAL” friends are.  All they need to do is listen… understand and even share our feelings, whether joy or sadness.  If, our friends knew how to be a “friend” then they would share our feelings of joy or compassion and it would be shown without a word.  When 70 disciples of Christ returned joyfully from a preaching campaign and related the good results of their work, Jesus himself “became overjoyed in the holy spirit.” (Luke 10:17-21) He shared their joy. On the other hand, Jesus ‘wept with people who were weeping’ when his friend Lazarus died.—John 11:32-35.

 

I hope they will become more sensitive to the pains and heartaches you are going through.  They can bring much relief to you while suffering emotional pain if they simply take the time to listen with a truly sympathetic ear.  

 

If you want to talk, I will listen…

 

Brenda

Mawmaw1591@gmail.com

 

 
 
 

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