February 2012 Blog Posts (42)

My mother was suddenly diagnoised with a unknown cancer and had 6 months to live in 2009. I have a brother and sister also. My mother prepared her financial affairs before her death.  After my mother…

My mother was suddenly diagnoised with a unknown cancer and had 6 months to live in 2009. I have a brother and sister also. My mother prepared her financial affairs before her death.  After my mother's passing my sister was suppose to give me and my brother money my mother had at home. Instead for 3 months my sister would not talk to me or give me any of the money. I would ask her numerous times what did I do to you. She would just say you did not do anything and kept all the money.  My…

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Added by Tiffoney Clark on February 29, 2012 at 8:30pm — 1 Comment

The Healing Time

Finally on my way to yes, I bump into all the places where I said no to my life. All of the untended wounds, the red and purple scars. Those hieroglyphs of pain carved into my skin, my bones. Those coded messages that send me down the wrong street again and again. Where I find them...the old wounds, the old misdirections. And I lift them one by one, close to my heart and I say, holy holy. -- Pesla Joyce Gertler

Added by MIchael A Ballard on February 29, 2012 at 1:36am — No Comments

Tired of This Aching Pain

my life has been upside down since my husband was killed.. i try each day to fight against all emotions and try to find ways to cope, but my pain inside my heart does not seem to get better but worsen with time. i try to avoid all reunions or meeting with family because i just want to avoid people asking me how I am and rather stay indoors all the time.  i just think about my husband and cant believe or accept that he is really gone. i am literrally avoiding all subject with regards to my…

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Added by Amanda Ab on February 24, 2012 at 11:58pm — 2 Comments

Help

Will someone please help me? I couldnt be anymore lost than I am right now. No one understand what I'm going through. They say the grieve time is over and I should move on. Its only been 6 days since I found out....

Added by Brittany on February 24, 2012 at 2:17pm — No Comments

My Loss

I've been so depressed lately. I need to know how I can move on from this betrayal. Why would my so called friend tell us we can adopt her baby then go in for an abortion and tell us she had a miscarriage? Who does that? I am so lost its all I can think about it consumes my thoughts every minute since I found out the truth. It a huge loss. I wanted that baby so bad, I saw it's little hand and body on the ultrasound picture. "My friend" even went with me to check out baby items all…

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Added by Brittany on February 24, 2012 at 12:02pm — 1 Comment

Another hurdle crossed

I never realized that I would be faced with so many "events" to cope with when she died.  Making the funeral arrangements, doing the visitation, then the funeral itself, those were the obvious things.  But then came the REAL challenges. 

First, what do I do with all her stuff?  Reading through other folks' posts, it appears many people could wait before they started dealing with the loved one's stuff.  But I didn't have much choice.  She had become a hoarder with respect to clothes,…

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Added by Bill Campbell on February 23, 2012 at 9:48pm — 1 Comment

Another foggy day

I majored in English (and Psychology) in college and, at times like this, I hate trying to write.My mind is foggy. How do I start? What do I really want to say? Why am I even writing?

These days, the fog seems to be a constant companion. "I know I got up to do something . . . but what?" I can't say I've moved very far since December 23, 2011. It's been too foggy. 

Before that day, there was a lot of motion. I met my love on September 29, 2007. He was…

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Added by Kathy S McBee on February 22, 2012 at 6:45pm — 1 Comment

The darkest 6 weeks of my life

Veronica was the love of my life and we had been together almost 13 years.  Then Saturday morning Jan 7, 2012... I went into my living room and found her dead on the floor.  I called her name, of course there was no answer.  I looked for signs of her breathing, of course there was no movement.  I reached down to shake her, and she was already cold and stiff.

She had experienced some health issues, and for the last year she had difficulty breathing.  While the final toxicology results…

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Added by Bill Campbell on February 22, 2012 at 2:29pm — 1 Comment

One year anniversary

I got through the one year anniversary OK. I went up to the lighthouse where Ken died and walked along the beach nearby. It wasn't too cold, considering it's in Maine in February.It was Valentine's Day.

This was a favorite place of his, and also his mother's. He'd scattered his mother's ashes there, and we scattered his ashes there also (and also his cat's ashes).

I will not let the fact that he died there taint the place for me. I will always have fond memories of our visits…

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Added by Sandy G on February 19, 2012 at 12:16am — No Comments

Pain and Peace

We feel pain and are more than overwhelmed and powerless from heartache when we lose them. They are at peace and no longer have the need to feel earthly pain. We sometimes feel uplifted and may smile or laugh a little when we remember funny things about them. We recall how much they loved us and may have told us to go on with our lives if something ever happened to them. We eventually find a little relief from our pain. They no longer have the need for pain. Only peace and love for us because… Continue

Added by MIchael A Ballard on February 17, 2012 at 10:17pm — 3 Comments

Natural things that help us to sleep.

I'm sure most of the people here,as well as myself,often find it hard to sleep at night.I have found some natural remedies that really seem to help.most of these things can be found at heathfood stores or vitamin stores like super supliments,or can be ordered online.Some can even be grown in your own garden.Valerian is what I have found to be most effective.It is a root,and can be bought in pill or liquid form.Meletonin is also verry effective.sativa,chamomille,catnip and lavender can be…

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Added by Lisa S. on February 17, 2012 at 12:04pm — 3 Comments

another damn day....

The first words out of my mouth today my poor husband said huh? I tried to cover with what a wonderful day. The truth is it fucking sucks..I want my mom its been 13 days and this day is worse than the first...I feel her absence in my whole body, every single thing in this world is dim now the grass,the sky,the trees nothing is the same..so its just another dam day...

Added by sarah schlachter on February 17, 2012 at 7:30am — 1 Comment

This week has been down and sad

Today  all  days  i  feel ike crying , its  been  3  yrs  now   when  my mom passed away  and  i am still  hurting  from it .

as  i read all of  the comments  on here  finds   me    i am  not  the  only  one   hurtings    therefore  i  keep on asking  why things  like this  happans for . and   there  is no  answers  why!  

To everyone   i am sorry  for   all  of  your  lost of  a  love one . but   it  will   take time  as  i  said   before  both  of my are  gone  and   my …

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Added by sharon on February 16, 2012 at 11:01pm — No Comments

For my friends..

"The word 'happiness' would lose it's meaning if it were not balanced by sadness." "Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens." Carl Gustov Jung

Added by MIchael A Ballard on February 16, 2012 at 9:04pm — 1 Comment

Roller Coaster Ride?

I am having such a hard time with my husband's loss. Some days I am just fine, feel pretty normal, and then other days I cannot function at all and just want to cry. I have yet to make it a full week at work, I get up some mornings and I am just overwhelmed with grief. I try to push through it, some days I can, but some days (like today) my heart is too heavy and I stay home and cry. When will I be able to function normally again? I have never been an emotional person and this sadness is so…

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Added by Patti Branch on February 15, 2012 at 3:26pm — 3 Comments

suicide is NOT the most selfish act

I have often heard people parot the phrase "suicide is the most selfish act".verry few,(if any),people kill themselves out of spite,and even if so,that person must have been awfully unkind to solicite such a drastic action.peoplr commit suicide for manny reasons.mental illness aflicts alot of people,and goes unnoticed and untreated in most.Childhood trauma/abuse haunts manny people.People kill themselves because they feel they haveno other choice,no hope,and the inner pain is unending.Before…

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Added by Lisa S. on February 15, 2012 at 12:55pm — 1 Comment

People Like Me

The thing about not having parents is that no one in my "circle" understands how I feel. They pretend to listen but their attention is quickly taken away by what is on TV and what is in the magazines. I have changed a lot since I last wrote in here. But the most recent events have me thinking that I'm still not completely all right. I even went to see a therapist while I was at school because I thought that she could help me make sense of the chaos in my head. But, I could tell that even she…

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Added by Jalysa Reyes on February 15, 2012 at 2:48am — 3 Comments

Venting.....

Tonight was the 33rd anniversary of my husband proposing to me.  He is gone now and I dont think anyone but me knew the significance.  Quite a few people knew it would be a hard day for me just because he is gone even though they didnt know exactly how hard and they tried to include me in some celebration or another.  I turned down dinner with a daughter-in-law and grandchildren.  I turned down another daughter-in-laws offer to buy me lunch.  I turned down an online invite by a very close…

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Added by anna l. on February 15, 2012 at 1:42am — 1 Comment

Valentines Day Without the Love of My Life

I just have not been able to stop the tears since this morning. I just want to give a huge hug and kiss to the love of my life, my sweet husband, Danny, but feel so helpless since I cannot do that anymore!. I can say and scream and maybe he will listen but no warm hug or kiss. As I am driving to work this morning, I cant help to see all of the advertisement in the streets, the radio, the t.v. Can it all just  go away!? It hurts too much to know that today is Love Day and I am without the…

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Added by Amanda Ab on February 14, 2012 at 11:30am — No Comments

Grief and who we are

There is grief, and all of us on here knows what that is. We have our own little day to day triumphs over our tragedy of grief. What we are and who we are can really get set in a dark corner. Grief is the ultimate teacher in our lives. Of course it rips us and tears us to shreds. But what are we? In my experience, I'm a student in the school of grief. Who are we? We are feelers, thinkers, learners, re-learners, lovers, teachers, believers, givers, helpers, healers, dreamers, hopers, sleepers… Continue

Added by MIchael A Ballard on February 14, 2012 at 2:04am — No Comments

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