Erin Johnson
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  • Phelan, CA
  • United States
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Is there a timeline on grief?
10 Replies

I lost my boyfriend for years ago. I still miss him every day. However lately I get the impression that people are wondering why he has not gotten any better. The other day the person that was very…Continue

Started this discussion. Last reply by Ruth Jul 13, 2011.

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About Me:
Hi I'm Erin! I am a college student and and I go to Kaplan University online I'm working on my bachelors in child development/psychology. I will be graduating in June of 2011. After that I'm hoping to go for my Masters of social work!. I was born 3 months early with cerebal palsy but I am still a completely "normal" person. Don't judge me by my disablities, it is part of who I am, but please judge me by my mind. I am very driven in life. I strive to reach my goals. I can be stubborn at times, but I am pretty open minded. I tend to get attached to people easily. I have a good personality and I'm a good friend. I am very thankful for all my friends and loved ones God has blessed me with. I have the best friends in the world and I don't know what i would do without them! I am an olny child, so my best friends are just like sisters to me. i love them very much. I am a christian and I have very strong beliefs in God and Miracles. I know they can happen because I have seen miracles happen myself. I accept Jesus Christ into my heart. I love animals, especially little dogs aka Yorkies and kitties, and little kids. I'm a people person in general. I pretty much accept everyone as long as you're a good person. I love to listen to mucis, go to concerts, write poetry, work on GO SHOPPING, watch movies, hang out with friends, go on vacations during summer, go to camp, go to the beach, learn new things, meet new people, take walks or rolls, go to family events, and much...much more. My favorite colors are purple pink and green I love taking random pictures. I love make-up! and doing my hair!
About my Loss:
Four years ago on July 4, 2007 I lost the love of my life. He had been very badly injured in a car accident earlier that year on Memorial Day weekend. The accident happened as he and his best friend were driving in his truck (his best friend is my best friend's husband so we were all very close). Both of the guys were very injured and we were afraid that we are going to lose both of them. They are both in the hospital for a long time. My boyfriend Jeff had had some injuries to his neck injuries and had to have surgery while he was in the hospital. A couple days after that surgery he had gotten a blood clot in his neck. On July 4, 2007 the blood clot broke off and went to his brain this caused a brain aneurysm. July 4 will never be the same for me. I am disabled I have cerebral palsy. He was the first guy in a long time not to see my disability but to see me for who I really am. I miss him every day. I know it has been a long time and I know everyone thinks I should have moved on by now and I have tried but none the relationships I have tried to have have worked out. Guys that I date don't see me they just see my wheelchair. Jeff loved me like no man ever has. This man had the biggest heart. There are no words to tell you how much I loved him. He made me feel beautiful, wanted and loved. Sometimes I have a hard time believing that anyone will ever love me like that again or that I will ever love anyone like that again. We were not even together for a year but our love was instantaneous. He told everyone he knew. Including my best friend that he was going to marry and I felt the same way.

As a side note, my best friend's husband lived after the fight of his life. They now have a beautiful family. I am very close to all of them and they are like a second family to me. They were like a second family to me even before I met Jeff. My best friend was the one who introduced me to Jeff.
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At 1:05am on July 14, 2011, Lisa Westgate said…

Erin, you are amazingly inspiring!  Keep up the good work and postings!

At 9:49pm on July 2, 2011, Ruth said…

Hi Erin,  Thank you for posting at such a hard time for you.  When we post to each other at our worst times, it helps the rest of us; some because we can use our hurt to help someone else finally, and others because we are lost until then in the same pain you feel but because you reached out, we know we are no longer alone in that place.


I do not yet know the pain you feel in losing Jeff but I have the pain of the fear of losing my husband, after losing my dad to murder.  We are currently starting the beginning of the middle, that is arrest, prosecution and trial.  I am so glad to hear you are blessed with your chosen family to support you in this healing journey and that they lived it with you so you don't have to re-explain a lot of what you're going through. 


Please keep living your best life; that was how Jeff came into it, that is what he'd want for you to keep doing, especially in his honor and I know with your enthusiasm, connectedness and joy your life will be overflowing with love.  hugs.  Ruth

At 8:27pm on June 29, 2011, Semary Rose said…

Hi Erin, I am sorry for your loss and the grief involved.  You seem like such an energetic person. 

I am here if you ever need to talk.  You are stronger than you ever imagined.

At 8:42pm on June 28, 2011, Susan said…

Thank you, Erin, for your sweet comments as well.  I'm doing better, these days, and I am well on the way to forgiving both of us.  


I commented on your page because I was so impressed with your profile.  You seem to have such a joyous outlook, lots of passions and interests, and also a love of people.  I was so genuinely touched.  These qualities are the surest predictor I know of,  of leading a rich, fulfilling life.  I feel sure you are destined for that, if you just follow your lovely spirit

Many people would give a lot to have the kind of heart you sound like you have.  I think you are a very lucky soul, and the people that find you will also be lucky.


Just stay out there, involved, reaching out, loving people, and you will always be okay.


Have a good evening, and have patience with life.

At 5:50pm on June 28, 2011, Susan said…

You sound like such a beautiful, worthy, valuable human being.  Please keep your heart open, as you said that you normally do, to another human being to love you.  You are truly remarkable, special, and ahead of most of us, but I do believe you can find an equal again some day.  I wish you all the very, very best.





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Sue M commented on Kar's group Missing my Son or Daughter
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Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, I have seven tattoos one for each year Julian has been gone. It is my way of honoring him  People make fun of me saying I am too old (71) to have them. Glad to hear I am not the only one still honoring their spouse after death."
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Serenity replied to Linda Engberg's discussion Ending my Life
" suicide yourself there us no place for you in heaven. You will find yourself again and life will go on without your dearly departed. Learn to love yourself find what you like to do there has to something. Think of it like this he…"
Jan 12
Serenity replied to Elynn m's discussion Lonely again
"It is a tradgedy to lose a loved one. But it does get better. Not everyday will be the same some days burn to the core more than others. Find a hobby or volunteer or help someone basically find something to do to ease the monotony of the day. In…"
Jan 12
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Thank you Linda.  It's beautiful for you to had done that.  I have tattoo of our names in a heart.  I wear two sets of our wedding bands on both pinkys and ring fingers.  We're still married and always will be forever.…"
Jan 12
Linda Engberg commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Joe, What a beautiful post. I have a tattoo on my shoulder of both our hands on our wedding day. I added my own words. God be with you."
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Rick Rilloraza left a comment for morgan
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Jan 11
Joe Kelly commented on Jon-Paul Ackerman's group Lost My Spouse...
"Reliving two years ago.  Ten days till She took Her last exhaling breath in my arms.  She went knowing that we will be together forever and it can't come soon enough for me. Till then:"
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