Curtis Clark
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I lost my father to suicide

A few years back I lost my father to suicide. He was 62 years old. Not the age you expect your male role model to take their own life. As with all suicide, it was extremely complicated and my family…Continue

Started Nov 6

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morgan left a comment for Curtis Clark
"Thank you for placing the link to your film.  Admittedly it brought me to tears.  And you are right.  It is regret for all the things I should have said or might have said or all the things I still wanted time to be able to say.…"
Nov 14
Curtis Clark posted a discussion

I lost my father to suicide

A few years back I lost my father to suicide. He was 62 years old. Not the age you expect your male role model to take their own life. As with all suicide, it was extremely complicated and my family was left with many unanswered questions. His death sent me into a tailspin. I was angry. Confused. Grieving. My worldview shattered. More anger. But it was regret that was the most difficult thing for me to deal with. Sinking, festering regret. Most of you here know what I’m talking about. Wishing…See More
Nov 6
Curtis Clark is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
Nov 6

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About my Loss:
I lost my father to suicide.

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At 2:20pm on November 14, 2021, morgan said…

Thank you for placing the link to your film.  Admittedly it brought me to tears.  And you are right.  It is regret for all the things I should have said or might have said or all the things I still wanted time to be able to say.  Just to keep the connection going.  Instead all I feel is loss.  And I suffer still to this day..... soon to be 9 years later.  

I want to leave this earth and don't have the courage (as of yet) to take the plunge.  Surely not something you want to hear having a father who took his own life.  But I am suffering greatly and living without the man who made my heart beat I have coped with the pain the best I can.  

I used to be on this website day in and out pretty much. It was a lifeline for me.  Talked with many people who suffered the same as me losing a spouse.  I could bet that those of us who were here then for quite awhile still would be thrilled to leave earth.  Sometimes the pain is just so much to bear.  Now I stay to myself and try not to have to burden others with my inability to manage very well.  

I function better but I am not "living".  Those are two separate and distinct things.  But I do wish there was just more "time" that I would have had because I was so in tune with his world.  More time.......and now I wait as I have to believe that the cord between us is still there, just invisible.......

 
 
 

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Heidi Lee is now a member of Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Luís Silva posted a discussion

Death bureaucracy

When my father died - he was a victim of a violent crime - me and my family went through hell. But, from all the bad things, the memories from the funeral arrangements still linger in my thoughts. The bureaucracies: my father's siblings discussing if he should be buried with their parents, the "open coffin" decisions...etc.I'm not sure if I resent any of the options we made, but it's only me that comes back to these death bureaucracies? Does anyone also have similar experiences? It seems so…See More
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Profile IconLuís Silva, Sanju Rao, Mary-Ann Murray and 2 more joined Online Grief Support - A Social Community
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Sanju Rao commented on Gale Brunault's group Loss of an Only Child
"Is there an online support group for survivors of the loss of an only child which meets on a weekly or monthly basis? My Aunt and Uncle have lost their only child - a 19 year-old son - and they are in such pain... we need help"
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Sanju Rao joined Gale Brunault's group
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