You're too young to be a widow

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You're too young to be a widow

I never thought that I would be a widow in my forties.  My friends can't relate and feel the need to comment on everything, even if they have no experience with grief.  I know they mean well but only we know what we are going though.

Members: 121
Latest Activity: Oct 9

Discussion Forum

People can be so heartless sometimes 8 Replies

I know that, people dont know how to deal with the passing of a loved one, especially when they are young and we are young, but the hardest comment I have had to endure since the passing of my…Continue

Started by ShingingLight1967. Last reply by Bryan Kelly Reeves Oct 8.

So lost - he was taken from me at 52 3 Replies

I woke up last Friday, 8/5 to find my husband gone. He passed overnight of a heart attack. It was completely unexpected. We had a good evening the night before and it was the last thing I would have…Continue

Started by Angie. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Oct 15, 2016.

Engaged, but never made it to the altar... 3 Replies

I lost my fiancee from a massive heart attack - the "widow maker." While not married yet, this was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with.  I'm 42, and he was 38.  We had just picked…Continue

Started by Chrystine Anderson. Last reply by ShingingLight1967 Oct 10, 2016.

Feeling Alone 1 Reply

I'm about to lose my mother. She has been battling terminal cancer for sixteen months. I can barely stand the wait for the day she dies. When she does I have to attend two funerals in two states. My…Continue

Started by Susan Johnson. Last reply by Copper "Charlie" Aug 31, 2016.

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Comment by Eliza Boyd on November 16, 2016 at 8:49am

My husband, my Superman, has been gone 2 mos now.  Never thought he'd be gone at the age of 46 and leave behind myself, 48, to raise our 12 yr old daughter alone.  It's nice having our 19 yr old son back at home.  He's a great help.  Yesterday was the first time I've been physically ill.  The kids did a great job of taking care of me, but it just hurt because this was the first time he wasn't there to make it better.

Comment by Jessie on October 1, 2016 at 9:19pm

I lost my husband 1 month ago today the shock is lifting but the sadness is overwhelming. At 48 it is hard to believe I won't  hear him calling me Honey, rubbing my hair until I fall asleep, bring me home a bottle of wine just because ther are so many things that were just so simple that meant so much. My heart is forever broken.

Comment by Amy Ginn on August 29, 2016 at 11:18pm
Cooper Charlie- I've been waiting to be approved hoping I could find you again!!!! I was 22 my husband was 42 when we met. It truly was love at first sight. you and I are so much alike. Cliff had an abdominal aortic aneurysm & thoracic aortic aneurysm. Did your hubby take levaquin? We are in that big suit with those antibiotic makes because he was healthy until he took a lot of that antibiotic. Like you, I am eager to paint my bedroom rearrange it new bedding. This current bedroom has 5 years of hell in it. Not one moment of love because we couldn't be intimate the last 5 years. I spent 34-39 completely alone, physically. Then it became mentally as he decreseed. But he was my true souls mate. It's been only 8 weeks. He made me promise to "move on" to find happiness because it was my turn after all I had sacrificed for him. I did sacrifice but I made that choice. I did what j wanted to do. And that was love and care for him. Seriously if u haven't get a lawyer NOW for the TAA since it sounds like it ruputured. Go to drug watch.com or baddrug.com they list the 56 antibiotics in this group of antibiotics that cause TAA's. I knew the fear you felt. Like your man was a ticking time bomb. Because they were. All I can say is at least he went quickly and perhaps didn't suffer long. My husband suffered hard for 2 years. We all did I do hope to talk with you more maybe privately. I can see we have a lot to share. God bless u and your family. Your new friend, Amy
Comment by Copper "Charlie" on August 18, 2016 at 6:44pm

Angie

I'm so sorry.  The sympathy cards I got, I just put them away.  My sister-in-law went through them to make sure there was no money or anything, which some people did give me.  But I couldn't read them for months.  Actually, I don't even know if I did force myself to read them, to be honest.  I stored them in a box and I'm not even sure where the box is.  Just know you're not alone here.  Hugz!

Comment by Angie on August 18, 2016 at 3:14pm
I completely understand. My husband has only been gone 2 weeks tomorrow and I don't know how I will survive. I miss him and love him so much. It's this horrible roller coaster. I went back to work this week but can hardly focus. I cry myself to sleep, wake up looking for him. And it is so hard to make the calls to cancel his accounts. I've never hurt so bad in my life.. Today I got more sympathy cards in the mail and I just started crying...
Comment by Copper "Charlie" on August 18, 2016 at 2:15pm

Hello.  It's been one year and five days for me since my husband of 13 years passed away.  I was 41 when he died and he was 55.  It was unexpected, like many of you...an abdominal aortic aneurism.  He called me to him in the bedroom and 45 minutes later, he was gone.  I'm so grateful we had the 13 years, but at the same time I'm like...it was supposed to be more!!  He was my everything and even after a year, I'm just going through the motions.  I had to get new furniture and rearrange the bedroom and living room because the memories were just too strong of those 45 minutes.  It helped.  But the memories still haunt me.  Even with my daughters (22 years and 19 years) living in the house, I feel more alone that I ever have.  Mostly, I just sit and do nothing but stare at the walls.  I'm disabled, so I don't really have much of anything to distract me the majority of the time.  He was my everything and I...miss...him!!!

Comment by Maria Gutierrez on August 15, 2016 at 9:05pm
My boyfriend passed on April 17. We were together for 11 years and were planning on marrying after his ex finally agreed to give him the divorce. He filed the divorce papers on April 14, just 3 days after he was murdered. I found about his death on the news and at the beginning police filed it as an accident but less than a month ago they said that he was murdered. I always thought we would grow old and joked about the illnesses that we would probably develop being elderly. I was his princess and he would do anything and everything me. Foot rubs, taking care of me when sick, Sunday breakfasts in bed, shopping (yes, he was very patient and always was honest about colors and fitting) we cooked and spent a lot of time together besides the time you get to spent wheb you live together! I never expected to be a widow just 2 days after my 40th birthday. I didn't know living without him was going to be this hard. I never imagined that I would feel so lost and helpless and angry and empty. I feel that my soul died with him ...
Comment by Shannon Thorn on August 6, 2016 at 5:09pm

It's been longer for me than some of you.  I married at 18 (was with him from when I was 14) and was widowed at 27 (and he was a murder victim so it was unexpected to say the least....).  It'll be seven years on New Year's Eve.  That said, it some days it seems okay without him and then five minutes later it seems like it hurts more now than when he first died; if that makes any sense at all. 

Before his death and the series of shit relationships I got myself into, I was an expert mountain climber; to the extent that the only major summit out of the seven I haven't finished is Mt. Everest--that one I broke my spine on about 3000 feet away and I am lucky I survived.  I don't like talking about it much--but my climbing partner went blind from his eyes freezing and the ropes didn't get set up right and we were both hallucinating all sorts of crazy stuff I'll never speak of at that point from the extreme alititude. 

Well long story short, last night I moved wrong in my sleep and it triggered reliving that whole thing.  It is days like these that I want my husband, even all these years later I want the one person who understood my need to do insane adventures like that.  The man that even when I hadn't healed enough to walk just brushed my hair while I ranted about how Mt. Everest doesn't own me, I will do it again and then I am going to do K2.  Now all that's left are people who think I was insane that I ever made the attempt; let alone that I eventually want to do it again.  Then there's all the happy relationships I see...some people can move on easier than I can.  Me, I haven't found anyone even all these years later that I even want to know my favorite movie let alone exactly how bad I want back up there.  Anyway, thanks for listening and sorry to everyone else for their loss.   

Comment by So Sad on August 6, 2016 at 4:47pm
  • Im widowed at 31 we were only married for 6 months before he was murdered....so lost

Comment by Angela renteria on August 3, 2016 at 8:29pm

My husband passed June 18th of this year. We were together 17 years and have four young children. Each day is just another day without him and I hate it .I just want him back , I just want the trivia challenges we had, his guitar and singing that would go into the night. Sneaking in movies just for the fun of it. I just miss him, everything about him .I hate to admit this but I really dislike being around couples . Couples around my age or older couples because they have something I never will. Most likely my friends will grow old together. They will look back on memories together. All me and my children will have is memories and for my youngest who is 1 year , he won't even have that.

 

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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Theresa commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Brett Bowman commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
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Luisa Salter commented on Karen's group I miss my Mom!
"Hi everyone, just checking in. I'm sad to hear all the trouble with beloved pets recently. I'm so sorry. I know that some times when it rains it pours. Having a tough day today myself. I have to remind myself that God will give me what I…"
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I miss my Mom!

If you have that hole in your heart that you get when you lose the woman that you shared a body with....
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JO B commented on JO B's group fur kids
"big miss she is "
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Jane Stilwell replied to Jane Stilwell's discussion New Here in the group I love my Dad.
"I sure am glad you have him with you, at least until you're ready to scatter. That is beautiful. We did not have a special place, but I can think of one place I could go to that he liked to shoot guns at. Thank you for the idea. My boyfriend…"
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Linda Engberg commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Janet, Sorry about you loss. It has been 4 years since I lose my wonderful Husband.The grief never goes away but just gets easier to bear. "
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Dennis C. replied to Meghan Doyle's discussion Caregiver to my grandpa. Could hospice affected his passing?
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Emma Milner replied to Jane Stilwell's discussion New Here in the group I love my Dad.
"I also cared for my Dad so ive had to find an entire new rountine well try too. So not seeing him everyday and chatting to him is hard. My Dad was cremated too. I have his ashes with me but not sure when I'll feel ready to scatter them. Is…"
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Jane Stilwell replied to Jane Stilwell's discussion New Here in the group I love my Dad.
"I hate to hear about your dad :( We expected my dad's passing, but it definitely still sucks. I'm with you about it hurting more now. It's like, I find myself wanting to call and tell him so many things, especially about my daughter…"
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Emma Milner replied to Jane Stilwell's discussion New Here in the group I love my Dad.
"Hey Jane Im new too. Im the exact same. I lost my dad on May 14th this yr unexpectadly. I found it easier to deal with then than I do now. I miss him more now than i did in them first few weeks after. I am too struggling with everything. Having a…"
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Jane Stilwell commented on Katherine Ellis's group Losing Someone to Cancer
"Does it ever get better? I miss my dad so much, it has been 5 months. My daughter will never even remember meeting him. It seems like cancer is EVERYWHERE."
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Losing Someone to Cancer

This is for anyone who has lost somone to cancer. I lost my adopted Mom to breast cancer some years ago. She was everything I could have asked for. She loved me because I was just me. She also loved my family and children as if they were her own.See More
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Jane Stilwell added a discussion to the group I love my Dad.
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New Here

Hey everybody,I am new to this group and to online forum in general. I am very much a pen and paper person but I need support that I can get at any time of day due to full time work and parenting!Dad died on May 2nd this year and after the initial pain I thought I would be ok. As it turns out, the grief has snuck up behind me and I am really missing the hell out of him. How do others deal with this?See More
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I love my Dad.

For everyone that has lost their Dad.
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Marine Marietta replied to Crystal K's discussion Its hard accepting my mother's death in the group I miss my Mom!
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